Post # 1
Just wanting to vent a lil (or a lot we shall see haha) My two future sister in laws(ages 21 and 22) are bridesmaids in our upcoming,as in only one month away, wedding. First off, they have been out of the country for 2 months on vacation so they missed the bridal shower and will be missing the bachelorette party(not that big a deal but still) There have been all kinds of issues so far but I wont get into that, just the latest. I had my fiance call his mother (she speaks mostly spanish I dont speak any so its better for him to call) to ask her if she will be able to pay for them to get their makeup done as well as their hair. We have someone coming to my sisters house to have all of of hair done together and were going to do the same with makeup. I just figured they knew we would all be getting ready together. Well its a good thing I asked because the response was , ” well I need to ask them if thats who they want to do their hair and makeup with” I was shocked! Are you kidding me? Why would they get their hair done by someone else? its not prom…its a wedding that they are in! That makes no sense! Personally, I think she should of just said yes they will be there not a problem(especially because its not the money that is the issue) Why would she need to ask them? so then when they say no, we are all going to get ready in different places! thats messed up! Anyone else ever have a situation like this? Am I being too selfish thinking they need to just suck it up and do what everyone is doing and really shouldn’t have a choice ??
Post # 3
They should have a choice. Honestly what if they could not afford it. If you were paying maybe different story but let them do their own thing if they want. You cant say “you have to get this done by so and so” Just my opinion:)
Post # 4
Just wanted to share — I have 4 ladies in my wedding party. My bestfriend of 22 years as my Maid/Matron of Honor and three of FI’s sisters as my BMs. My Maid/Matron of Honor will probably be getting ready with me and my family at my house, but my 3 FSILs/BMs will be getting ready in their house. I hired someone to do my hair & makeup at my house as well as my mom’s/SILs/Aunt/MOH/niece, but I also hired another team to go to FI’s family’s house for his mom & sisters. Despite them being on my side at the wedding, they’re still FI’s family so I want them to be with him in all photos and stuff. I realized I won’t be able to get the typical photo of the BMs around the bride holding the veil (or whatever it is they’re doing lol) but, well, they’re still his sisters. 🙂
Of course we could be coming from completely different places and cultures and stuff but I just wanted to add my 2 cents that maybe there’s something else coming into play here? Talk to your Fiance about it, maybe it’s just a misunderstanding or something. 🙂
Post # 5
thank you both for your feedback. I think another reason why I am so set on everyone getting ready together is that I am super anxious about them being late. The whole family is known for being late. His mom was an hour late to my bridal shower. And I guess I am scared they are going to be super late if they are off doing their own thing. My Fiance is upset about it too, he feels like they are just being difficult just because, I guess we will see happens! Thanks again for responding!!
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
If they are paying for their hair to be done, I think it’s perfectly fine for them to use the stylist who knows their hair. Why should they be forced to use the on site person, who has never met them before?
If they opt to have hair done elsewhere, it’s no skin off your nose. In fact, it means your hair person doesn’t have to start as early as they would have.
Just pad the timeline and tell them pictures are starting a bit earlier than they will be if you think they aren’t responsible enough to be on time.
Post # 7
@emilita423: hoping it’ll all work out for you!! your wedding should be stress-free and hopefully your FSILs will… cooperate lol. 🙂 and i second the suggestion of padding the timeline! set a very conservative “be ready by” or “be at so and so place” by. 🙂
Post # 8
I have three SILs as my bridesmaids too!! And they are the ONLY ones who haven’t purchased the dresses yet!! Sighhhhhhhhhhhh
Post # 9
Well I think they should be able to have a choice. I don’t see hair and make-up as mandatory like BM dress and shoes. I never pay to have my hair done (besides cut & color), I think it’s a waste of money since I know I can do it myself, I can do my make-up myself as well. I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man in 7 weddings and none of them required the Bridesmaid or Best Man to hair & make-up professionaly done and if a bride told me it was mandatory I would actually say no I’m not buying it.
Post # 10
I think calling your Future Mother-In-Law to ask her to pay for your bridesmaids hair and makeup is a little out of line. You should have told them they had the option, these are the prices, and left it up to them to ask their mother or decide to cover it themselves. If they elect to go somewhere else, let them know that’s fine, but you expect them to be at a certain location at a firm time. It’s a wedding, I can’t imagine they’d be late for such an important day!
Post # 11
Sorry, but I do think it is bit much to demand that. I think that one: they should have a choice in who does their hair and make-up, and two: if you are going to require they get perfessional hair and make-up that you need to pay for it. Many people are perfectly capable of doing their own hair and make-up. Also, maybe it is a money issue and Future Mother-In-Law has to check to make sure the girls can and want to pay X amount for the person you picked. If you are worried about them being late, you can still have them come over and get ready with you. Just let them either pick their own stylist or do their own hair and make-up or offer to pay for them to use your stylist.
Post # 12
I do think it’s weird that they wouldn’t get ready with you — that seems like a pretty standard part of the Bridesmaid or Best Man gig. But I don’t think they should necessarily be getting their hair and makeup done by the same person as you. First of all, they may not want their hair done by that person, they might want to do their own makeup, they might not want to pay to have it doe, etc etc.
A better way to approach it would be to say, “We’ll all get ready at xxx place at yyy time. I’ll have a makeup and hair person there. If you’d like her to do your hair/makeup, please let me know. It will cost one zillion dollars per person (or whatever it is).”
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I agree that unless you’re paying for the hair & makeup, unfortunately you can’t make them use those vendors. I’m paying for the bridal party makeup, but not hair, so I’m going to give them options of hair salons, but I can’t dictate if they go pro or not.
Post # 14
When it came to my Mother-In-Law and SIL’s hair/makeup I let them make their own decisions. I booked the makeup/hair person that worked for me and I informed them that this was my choice for myself (and by extension, my mom and sister) and they were welcome to use her, as well. They had an issue with the price (I wanted to be considerate, but after dealing with so much wedding drama with their criticisms I realized I didn’t want to compromise my look or the caliber of makeup artist I wanted when they could easily find someone else) so they made appointments at the mall, as I think many of my other BM’s did. I only got ready with one other Bridesmaid or Best Man. When I let them know the pricing and my choice I was very considerate and nice, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with someone wanting their own choice. Forget price, maybe they’re just going to be picky about their looks and you just have to deal with that, there isn’t much you can do and you shouldn’t burn bridges or cause resentments over something like this.
Post # 15
So…in all of the weddings I’ve been in, when I get my hair/make-up done by someone that the bride chooses, my hair ends up looking like crap, and I look like a clown with the amount of make-up they put on me.
I prefer to go to my own stylist when it comes to my hair if I’m given a choice. And I do my own make-up. I don’t like a ton of make-up and think I look ridiculous with a lot…so I just prefer to do my own rather than waste the money.
I kind of think you’re being a little unreasonable asking for them not only to be there for hair and make-up, but also making them pay for it. If they’re paying, they should get to choose who does their hair and make-up.
Post # 16
Because of the lateness thing, them getting ready with you’s a good idea. But if they have to pay for hair and makeup, it doesn’t seem unreasonable that they’d want their own person.