(Closed) “Oh, you have plenty of time”

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
13102 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Not to add to your frustration or anything but these sales people do have a point (to a point).  Between now and your wedding a year from now, you are going to change you mind on a lot of things.  You also have the luxery of being able to price shop and get better deals for yourself on the same items.

Obviously it is nice to get some things checked off quickly (I also like to make progress on a list) and some things ARE important to get done early.  Booking a venue, a caterer (but no need to finalize a menu), and start looking into things like DJs, bands, photographers, etc that can get quickly booked and no longer be available for you date.  You can even start hunting for your dress and dresses for your bridesmaids.

But there is no need yet to start designing floral arrangements, picking linens, finalizing food, writing the ceremony, setting a must-play music list, getting boys measured for tuxes, getting favors,  etc.  So if these are the type of things you’re looking to do – hold off a bit.  Sometimes the sales people are right.

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m with you on this one. I like to get things done early. I didn’t book the tables I wanted because my rental vendor told me they had lots and they were rarely rented. Well wouldn’t you know when I tried to add them to my order a couple months ago, they weren’t available. Stick to your guns! Either the vendor wants your money and will book things for you, or you move on and find someone else! AND a year goes by really fast!

Post # 5
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve been given so far (from a recently married bride) was “Everyone will tell you that you have plenty of time…ignore them!!”  I’m a planner and as soon as we set the date for the wedding I got onto planning.  The first thing you have to do is set a budget and that is hard to do if you have no idea what you are doing for the wedding.  On the flip side I was so eager to book a reception venue that I did it right away with little research and at one point I regretted that decision (although now I’m ok with it).  The things that have helped me are to make a timeline of when to do what and to stick to the timeline I got in a wedding planning book.  It gives me something to look forward to and I don’t have to worry if it is the “right time” to be working on something.  The other plus of the timeline is I can really focus on each step and then make sure that I have really thought about all my options and I end up happy with my decisions. 

Post # 6
Member
6664 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Okay, I’m SO glad you started this thread because one of my BIGGEST regrets looking back is NOT lying to the bridal gown shop about my wedding date!! They intentionally waited until the last possible second to get my gown in and after months of nightmares about not having a dress and general stress, it was 2 sizes too small! And I had lost weight since they measured me! So long story short, we had about 2 weeks to fix it but they were the most stressful two weeks of my life and it could have all been avoided if I had just lied about the date.

Think about it – the dress shop doesn’t need to know the truth, they aren’t doing anythign day-of! This is my biggest piece of advice to brides planning a wedding.

Also, with other vendors, I would say that your wedding is a date that is 6 months away and after you’ve gotten their attention say you changed the date. Just don’t do this with the venue or photographer since you need to make sure they are actually available on your date.

Post # 8
Member
13102 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@algregory76: Can you give us a little more explanation about what types of things you are being brushed off on?  I completely understand what you are saying about everyone having their own timeline and that people should respect yours.  Everyone plans and goes about things differently.

Just something to keep in mind, vendors also often have timelines that they stick to in order to prioritize and keep themselves sane.  Examples: Your florist isn’t going to want to design your flowers a year out because he/she has SOOOO many other wedding between now and then that, at this point, have priority over your event.  Same goes for working out ceremony details with a pastor/minister/etc or making song lists with the DJ.  They have to work with the more pressing, shorter timeline events now because they only have so much time in their days too.  Therefore, out of necessity for their scheduling, details of your event need to be saved for later.

Post # 9
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i understand how you feel, we only had a 13 month engagement and we even didn’t start planning for 2 months afterward cuz we were so busy with our new house. and i still got the “oh you have plenty of time” attitude.

the onlyl place that didnt give me that was the dress shop, they were happy i was there early :)…

anyway, i don’t mind the presumption, but i am SOOO an a-type that just needs to get her “to-do” list done ASAP! it’s frustrating when things out of your control get in the way!

hang in there!!

Post # 10
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I actually fired a vendor over this very matter.

I booked her in January. She told me she would have invitation proofs to me by the end of the March. Nothing. Then the end of April. Nothing. In early May I asked her to please have a proof to me by the end of the week. She said I shouldn’t need anything yet because my wedding wasn’t until October. She I hired someone else who had me proofs within 24 hours 🙂

I plan events for my job and am very organized. My whole strategy with the wedding is to get things done as soon as I can so that I’m not scrambling to do everything in September. I think that when you’re paying someone they should do things, within reason of course, on your timeline!

Post # 11
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Mrs.KMM: I met with my florist about a year in advance of my wedding. We looked at my inspiration photos, made tons of decisions and I gave her my deposit. She was more than happy to get the details ironed out well in advance to make sure she would have the right flowers, etc, but also so that if there were some sort of crazy rose epidemic she could let me know in as far in advance as possible! I booked my DJ and officiant around the same time, but both of them gave me worksheets and deadlines for what I needed to provide to them. I agree, not all decisions need to be made now, but in order to get the vendors you want, you need to book well in advance. My vendors seemed to have no problem with taking an hour to meet with me to discuss our wedding, and what we wanted. If they didn’t do that they wouldn’t have any business the next year!

Post # 12
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I understand and I am with you 100% on this. Once I make up my mind and commit – that is it for me. So, I completely agree that I want to be able to mark things off of my list and get them done now… not in 6 months!

Post # 13
Member
13102 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@bakerella: I’m not saying not to meet with them and get things booked because you’re right, people do get booked up so to get the vendors you want you have to book early (we did this too – it is necessary when planning a wedding).  But there is a big difference between booking and hashing out initial ideas and plans a year out (totally fine and reasonable) and trying to iron out all the little details and tiny decisions a year out (jumping the gun a little bit, IMO).

Post # 15
Member
13102 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@algregory76: If that’s the case, then I’m in total agreement with you.  Your first post made it seem like you were trying to put together lots of details and such at one year out.  Basics and costs and booking the big major venues have to happen that far out or the vendors you like get booked up (because others like them too!)

Post # 16
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

meh – while I know that you can change your mind a LOT in a year, if you are a checklist person, LIE YOUR FACE OFF. If someone won’t work with you b/c they’re procrastinators, it’s good that they out themselves with that line, so you know not to work with them. Do what makes you comfortable – i’m there with you. BESIDES THE DRESS, once a decision was made for the wedding, it was not revisited. That’s why I didn’t spend the last few months before the wedding up late doing bull$hit every night stressing – the wedding arrived and I enjoyed every minute of it. 

The people that wait and wait end up printing programs and tying bows and crying and having panic attacks 3 days before their weddings. 😉 I procrastinate a lot in life, but not planning the wedding, my goodness. I’m not crazy!

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