Ok Bees, am I just being a brat?

posted 3 years ago in Vow Renewals
Post # 3
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have never been a fan of getting married and then having a “wedding.” I feel like you get one or the other. I feel like those who do both put too much focus on the party and less on the commitment. I’m sure others out there will disagree with me.

I would either delay marriage for next year or settle for a smaller wedding with the money your FMIL graciously offered.

Post # 4
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@KittiLove:  If you would be able to afford it next year, why not just do it next year?

Post # 5
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would either do it next year, on your own dime (that way you get more control).. or do a quick courthouse/city hall/etc. ceremony now and do the big wedding next year. I think if you do anything even semi-fancy this year (like on Halloween), it’ll seem a bit odd to do another one next year.

Post # 6
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@KittiLove:  I think if you want the big party, just wait until next year. It’s only a year, and to be married and have a big celebration a year later is silly. Either be patient and save to have the big wedding next year, or do the small ceremony this year and be done with it. 

Post # 9
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d wait till next year. It goes by a lot faster than you think.

Post # 10
4076 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@KittiLove:  I don’t think you are being a brat. You are trying to compromise and get married sooner, but still have the wedding you want, while sticking to your finances.

Post # 12
182 posts
Blushing bee

@KittiLove:  As an outsider, I always hate when couples I know get married, are married for a while, then have an official wedding. I feel like at that point you’ve already started your life together and I just don’t see the reasoning for having another ceremony. I would just plan a super small wedding and then maybe have a great potluck dinner or some kind of reception inviting more people and celebrate your marriage with everyone then. 

Post # 13
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If what’s really important to you is having your friends and family there and getting it done this year, why not just do a simple cake and punch reception. You can definately do that for $2000 and get it plannned by Oct.

Post # 14
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MsW-to-MrsM:  This. What you want, OP, is a pretty princess day… I’m not a fan of “vow renewals” so soon after someone has gotten married. And just remember, a vow renewal is NOT a wedding — not appropriate to wear a wedding dress, have attendants, have pre-wedding parties, have a registry/expect gifts, etc. Also, will your guests know you’re already married?

Why not wait until next year when you can afford what you want?




Post # 15
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When people say party they mean any gathering of friends and family -not some drunken frat party. It doesn’t matter if you have alcohol or not the point is is that often when people do something like this the focus is less on the actual commitment and more on having a pretty princess day.

Honestly this sounds like a case of trying to have your cake and eat it too. If having your friends and family at your wedding is so important you should just wait a year. You don’t have to be married to buy a house together. It’s one thing to get married now and celebrate later because of things outside of your control (deployment, much needed health insurance, etc.) but purchasing a house is in your control and, IMO, not a good reason to have 2 weddings/celebrations.

Post # 16
2876 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

I agree with PP just wait until next year

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