- 4 years ago
- Wedding: December 2016
My step daughter (to be) has visitations with her biological mother every weekend. She lives primarily with my FI and I. She is a beautiful little 6 year old.
Previously the ex wife had been keeping her daughter and her friends separate, but recently she has very much been integrating the two. Fine.
My fiance asked her the other day about mommy’s friends, and she said that they were fine. Then she mentioned that one of Mommy’s friends, a man, tickles her whenever she walks by him.
This both made a red flag go off in both of our heads.
The ex wife has questionable looking friends based on facebook, but we have tried to ignore that, bc its not fair to judge so superficially. THis stood out as a red flag.
WHen FI addressed it with his ex she said that yes, he does tickle her alot but that he was overreacting and that the male friend is not a threat because he has a wife and two young children. (ok, doesn’t really matter, right?)
And she says that there is such a thing as “healthy touch.”
Am I crazy when I say that there is absolutely NO SUCH THING as “healthy touch” for a young girl from a grown man who is not her father/family member.
It immensely bothered FI and I that she is unwilling to address it with her male friend.
Honestly, I can say that I would NEVER tickle someone else’s child, and I can say that when I was a child I was NEVER tckled by anyone besides my family.
But ok, say he IS just being silly or whatever. I don’t want to establish with my step daughter that it is ok for a grown man to touch her. We are establishing boundaries, and this is not an ok one to establish.
Ok guys. Are we overreacting? How hard should we push it? Do you think it is ok for a non-family male to tickle a female child (any child)? How worried should we be by the fact that her mom is unwilling to address it?