(Closed) Ok i need advice!!!

posted 9 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I do not think waiting seven months on this would be good for your happiness. I think that you need to have an open conversation (skype anyone?) with him about the untruths and also about what his friend said. Though it hurts, Iraq could be affecting him. This behavior seems new.

An open conversation/calm email will shed more light on the situation. I used to be nonconfrontational, but found that I was happier when I could talk to people directly.

You can do it!

Whatever happens:

Do your best.

Don’t make assumptions.

Be Impecable with your word.

and most importantly,

Don’t take is personally.

 

If he is freaking out, Iraq probably is part of it. Be gentle with yourself and also with him and you will figure this out. My sage advice is actually from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. So helpful for all relationships, from your mother, to the guy at Starbucks.

 

Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

2nd hand info is very dangerous to react to so dont do any jumping to conclusions yet.  how has your FI been when you have spoken/emailed ect? can you notice any changes?  i wouldnt start accusing him immediately as hes going thru enough right now but see if you can get any clues from his behaviour first and see if you can steer a converstion towards you actually asking him if there is any truth to it. 

goodluck & sending hugs

Post # 5
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Talk to him first and get your own gut feeling.  Maybe his friend has his own best interest in mind.  Men know a good woman when they see one and (not saying this is the case) you never know if the ‘friend’ is trying to end your relationship so he can conveniently become the one you lean on for support.   

Post # 6
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i definitely agreee. you need to talk to him and if he keeps playing games do not stay with him any more. you don’t deserve it.

Post # 7
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Definitely talk to him. Also, expect some changes in him. We are close freinds with an Army family and the guy is Iraq right now and things can get a little stressed and weird. His wife and I are good friends and she stresses out every now and then because he is “acting funny”. Those of us who have not been there can only imagine what the ones that have been go through. It could be that he wants to break things off with you because he doesn’t think you’ll be faithful to him in the time he’s been gone. I know a lot of soldiers have that discomfort.

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