Post # 1
So I am a waiting bee, and I decided I really wanted a moissy e-ring. I told my SO this a few months ago, and he had never heard of it, so I explained it to him and he seemed interested (especially in the price lol). I have probably seen every single moissy ring on this site and pretty much have my ring picked out. I know a proposal is coming soon, but I also know for a fact that SO hasn’t bought a ring yet (although he has the link and specs of the ring I want). Since I gave him the info, I’ve been really trying to keep my mouth shut because I know he doesn’t want to hear me talk about it all the time.
Here’s the crazy part.
I want to order a loose stone for myself. I have decided that most bees are right and I should see it in person before making a decision, and a loose stone from moissyco is fully refundable. If I did this, I would not tell SO about it. Not only is he tired of me talking about it, but he’s very traditional and he wants to purchase the ring by himself and he wants it to be a surprise (even though I know what ring I’m getting, he just wants the timing to be a surprise). If I get it and return it, it’s no big deal. BUT, what if I get it and totally fall in love with it and want THAT stone on my ring? How would I bring that up to my SO? “Hey, I didn’t tell you this but I ordered a loose stone just to see, and I totally love it, so here it is, make a ring out of it…”??
The reason I want to do this is because I don’t want to be disappointed with my ring when I finally get my proposal. I want to make sure moissanite is something that I really do want, and I don’t think I will know for sure until I see it in person.
I am not sure what my actual question is, I just don’t want to be jumping the gun and seeming like a crazy girl that went behind SO’s back and bought a ring…does that make sense?
Anyways, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Post # 3
I support your plan for ordering a loose stone to make sure you like it, but I don’t think you should tell your SO to make a ring out of it even if you fall in love. The beauty of a lab created stone is that there is less variance between them.
Post # 4
I think it’s really smart to see it in person before. moissanite is not something people see everyday and you may not be able to drive to a local jeweler to check it out for yourself. just mention it once to your SO that because you’ve never seen one in person, you’d like to order one temprarily so you can both have an idea of what you’re getting. it’s not easy buying something new and so ignificant sight unseen
Post # 5
I think you should tell him you want to do that. Let him know you want to be 100% sure about it before he commits any of his hard-earned dollars for it. Pick one out together! Maybe HE will fall in love with it, you never know.
Otherwise – there are jewelers that carry moissanite. Call around, and you can go check it out in person, without actually buying and getting the “this could be my engagment ring!” attachment to it.
Post # 6
Hmm, well, I don’t think you’re crazy and I completely understand the temptation. Obviously it’s up to you, but wouldn’t you feel bad not telling him? Could you maybe tell him that this is the final thing you want to do/say in relation to moissanite and order it together with the full intention of returning the stone to be set at a later date in the setting of your choice (I know several bees have done exactly that)? Maybe he would appreciate that you’d want to get to know this new kind of stone that you will have forever but haven’t actually seen before?
Alternatively you could see if there are any retailers nearby that sell moissanite and go and take a look. There’s a list on the C & C website, I believe. That’s how I went to look at the only one in my city. Mind you, it looks completely different under indoor lighting and outdoor lighting, so the latter version I never got to see until I actually got my ring.
Another thing you could do is wait for the ring and return it if you’re not happy. You may want to double check this with MoissaniteCo, if that’s where you’re getting it from, but I think you can return the ring if you’ve not customized it prior to ordering (e.g. I asked for side stones to be removed, so mine was “customized”) and not removed the tag from the ring.
Let us know what you decide! Aaaand, how exciting for you!
Post # 7
@LilliePad: I could be wrong, but even if you fall in love with that particular stone, you could buy one with the exact same specs again quite easily. It’s not like a diamond where it has flaws, since it’s manufactured in a lab.
So really if you get a 1.25 carat it should be the same as any other 1.25 carat, no? That might help you not get so attached to that particular stone.
I’m all for ordering the loose stone, but from a practical point of view, if you have it delivered to your house, he might wonder what’s up lol. Can you have it sent to your office or something?
That or do a bit of research and maybe your city (or one nearby) stocks moissanite. Last time I was on vacation in Vegas (I live in Canada) I saw a jewelry store that carried moissanite in the Fashion Show mall. I am kicking myself for not going in and seeing what they look like in real life. This site has made me very curious even though I know I want a diamond for my e-ring.
Post # 8
Thanks, ladies! I am worried that if I wait until I get the ring to see it and if I don’t like it at all, then I will be engaged without a ring, which SO is absolutely against (again, very traditional). The reason I’m hesitant to tell him is not because I want to keep it from him, but mainly because he already thinks I’m being obsessive about the whole situationa and I think he just wants me to shut up about it lol.
Post # 9
There is a jewelry store near my house that actually sells moissy. Maybe call around and see if you can find one near you and go check one out. Or by yourself a necklace or something instead so that you can test the sparkly in a non ring piece.
Post # 10
I really think if you haven’t seen a moissanite before, you should order one with the exact size and specs you want (unenhanced, Amora, FB, etc.) and look at it in every imaginable type of lighting. That’s the only way you’ll get a really good feel for what a moissanite is like – so in that sense, I’d recommend ordering a loose one vs. going to look at one at a jewelry store.
I know you’re scared of seeming obsessive right now, but things would only get worse if your SO ordered you a ring and you ended up not really liking the stone. After so much buildup, you’d really feel bad saying something then. It really is best to make sure you love the stone before a purchase like this.
You probably will love it, as you already have done a lot of research into moissy and know about its quirks, but you will still feel a lot more secure in your decision after examining a stone in person.
If you purchase a loose stone and end up loving that particular stone so much that you want to keep it, you could maybe make arrangements with the vendor about saving you that stone until your SO buys a setting?
Post # 11
@LilliePad: I get that, I really do. I was the same! It’s only when I *accidentally* found out that he’d ordered the ring that I shut up about it, instead falling into a scared, anticipatory silence.
But do you think if you calmly approached it with him in a way that made it clear it’s a good thing to see the stone before ordering, he may understand and agree? And then you could promise to not keep talking about it? It makes sense to make sure you both love the stone itself before committing to it, and it would be a real downer to get the ring and not be completely happy with it.
Post # 12
@canarydiamond: I have to disagree with this. I saw moissanite in person from a jeweler who ordered it for me, and it looked pretty diamond-like, but much warmer than I preferred. We decided to order an amora moissanite thinking it would be whiter and better, and it ended up looking like a piece of glass, totally flat and “hollow” looking. We took it to compare to a diamond and there was no comparison at all. I may have gotten a dud, but I think there is a ton of variation in moissanite.
OP I think you should absolutely order one to see. Just tell your boyfriend. If you can’t be honest about a shiny rock, that’s not a good sign!
Post # 13
@LilliePad: I think it’s a good idea to order the loose stone!! If you and your boyfriend have separate finances then I don’t see why you’d need to tell him, especially since you plan on returning it and he’s of talking about rings lol! If you two have a joint account though… well then you should discuss it with him first, IMO.
Post # 14
I would also add that just having the loose stone won’t be spoiling the surprise and specialness of the ring, if that’s another thing he may be worried about. You cant even wear the loose stone, obviously, let alone wear it in a beautiful setting that you’ve picked out. And that means that once you’d made your mind up about the stone, he can order the ring and keep it for as long as he wants until the right time comes, because there’ll be no time pressure of showing it to you within the return period in case you decide then that you don’t like the stone. It’s win-win! Ha ha.
Post # 15
I have to disagree with the idea that because moissanite is lab grown that there is little to no variance in the stones, this is very untrue, especially to one with a color sensitivity and/or can tell the difference between a good and bad cut. I have seen some flat out mint green looking stones (being sold as white), yellow-ish, and ones that are pretty white. I’ve seen some round brilliants with the “fish eye” effect because of poor cut, and others that look just amazing.
Normally companies who grow rough in labs have spent a lot of time making sure they deliver a consistent product or are able to achieve a certain hue, clarity, etc. all the time, but C&C has not put much effort into researching the best way for CREE, Inc. to grow their rough for them, so they just get what they get and batches can vary immensely.
The upcoming Amora Gem, however, would be more consistent with the idea that lab grown gems will offer a consistent product that if you like one, you know what you’ll be getting in furture purchases. That is because they will only sell rough that meets certain clarity standards and will have the gems cut by robot so each one is ideal in cut, with all stones having the same color, clarity, etc. C&C on the other hand, not as up and up on the quality control. *eye twitch*
Anyway, I do think you should see a stone beforehand, but as long as you are buying from a reputable company (Schubachs is highly praised for their discriminating eye for picking out good moissanite stones, for example, although all mine are from MoissaniteCo) you should be just fine and will end up with a good stone. 🙂
Post # 16
@canarydiamond: Yes I second the PP. Just because a stone is created in a lab doesn’t mean they are all identical. Each moissanite is unique. The same is true of lab-grown diamonds and sapphires.
I also don’t think seeing moisssanite in a shop is helpful. In addition to the lighting problem, a lot of stores stock old moissanite, which doesn’t look like today’s moissy. I brought my Amora to a jeweller who carried moissanite, and they could barely believe it was the same stone.
OP I think ordering & returning a loose stone is a good idea if you are nervous (even though there’s no reason to be!). Make sure you get an Amora. Don’t tell your BF. If you’re unhappy with how “his” stone compares to “yours” you can always send the ring back for a stone swap after you get the ring.
And post pics!!