(Closed) Okay… a silly question :)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You’re engaged – first off, congrats – secondly, if he’s asked you to marry him, IMO – he’s left himself open for the onslaught of wedding talk! I’ve been talking my SO’s ear off about weddings for years – and since we decided to get engaged (ring bought, proposal impending), it’s just gotten more intense. For the exact same reason as yours – we want a small wedding and want to get married in less than a year so the discussions are necessary.

Post # 4
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

People will start asking you – like – the second after you tell them you got engaged.

When they do, you can gaze up at your new fiance with adoring eyes, smile and very innocently say “ohhh we havent really talked about it yet!”

Then when you’re alone with him, you can just say something like “well, what should we start telling people who ask?”    and take it from there  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

He should expect it he proposed!! when FH proposed 10 minutes later I got a wedding magazine???

Post # 6
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

For your sanity and your FH’s. I would talk a little bit the first day about generalities, and then promise both yourselves there will be no talk for one week. You read on here how surprisingly stressful it can get and can often cause arguments.  Enjoy being engaged for a bit first!

Trust me you will want those happy blissful memories when you are pulling your hair out over DIY projects, BM issues, MIL issues, budget dilemas etc.

And when people ask just say “We are busy being enjoying the engagement right now”

Post # 8
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it’s probably different for everyone… FI and I had literally picked a wedding date before he proposed! (I didn’t want to get married in the winter, and I didn’t really want to wait more than a year for the following spring so…late October it was!)

Post # 9
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee

Everyone is different! We didn’t start discussing ’til a couple weeks later. Basked in our new engagement for a while before we got down to the nitty gritty. Quite a few people were asking the next day if we had a date, though! “Um, no. I can’t even wear my ring yet!” We had discussed earlier in the relationship about what we each wanted for a wedding, and because of it at first we wanted to “elope” and then have a reception next summer… now we’re having a big, more traditional wedding with 295 guests invited.

But the point is, some may immediately start talking about it, other’s may wait, for whatever reasons!

Post # 10
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I booked the venue 2 days after the proposal. no joke! I was researching before obviously, but knew that I wanted a particular month and he didnt mind at all. He knew it was coming though- I’ve always wanted to plan a wedding.

Post # 11
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

haha true, everyone is different really.. I started talking to my FI about the wedding, the same week! Then I tried cooling it down a little bit — then I up’ed it bak up to high speed then  back to low. Im all over the place ๐Ÿ˜€ but at least its set  now!

Post # 12
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

We started talking weddings waaaay before he proposed. You might want to check and see if he’s on board for the short engagement and small wedding. My FI was the one that wanted a big one, and we compromised on 70 people. But we knew all of this before we were engaged… He should be open to talking about it. You both know it’s coming.

Post # 13
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

I’m still waiting and we’ve discussed what we think the ideal engagement period should be.  In fact, at first we had discussed engagement being a year to a year and a half, and we agreed that engagement is the time to *actively* plan the wedding.  Well, life has happened, and our timeline changed.  SO asked me if I still felt the same way about being engaged for a 1-1 1/2 years or if under the circumstances, I’d be ok with a longer engagement.  To me, when you’ve already talked about marriage/engagement, it doesn’t seem like a big deal to bring it up! 

And I agree that if it hasn’t been discussed prior to the proposal, that question is expected.  When my parents got engaged, they were on the way to my grandparents house.  When they arrived, my mom had a private talk with my grandparents, and when she came into the living room, she promptly asked my dad, “How does October sound?”  His response was, “This October?!?!. . .That’s fine if that’s what you want.” 

Post # 14
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

23 seconds after you said yes. Just kidding… or am I? We had flowers, possible venues, budget, guestlist outline and date within the first 30min. so i guess it depends on you and how fast you talk.

Post # 15
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

As soon as he asks, its ON! ๐Ÿ™‚ I imagine we would just be talking generics that first night such as what type of wedding, when roughly, and from there I would go away and start planning.

Post # 16
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

We did something that actually worked well. After we got engaged, we had a talk about when to start discussing plans/doing planning. So, we had a plan about when to plan. So meta.

FI said he wanted to take two weeks just to enjoy the engagment without any sort of planning stress. I tried my best…

Of course, I immediately started to plan/do research on my own because I started getting worried about finding a venue and date.

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