Post # 1
I am a 10.2.10 bride. I have about 9 months to go, and my family is not being supportive! Everything I come up with my family asks how much its going to cost. There is only so much that I can hear that before I start shutting down. I also look at DIY projects and my mother shoots me down asking why I need this. My FMIL is so supportive and is actually wanting to help me, problem is my mom gets mad when this happens and asks why I’m planning things so soon. I want to go dress shopping and I can’t because I want my family there, but everything is so haywire and it causes fights that I’m getting too tired to deal with it. Its almost like the word wedding is a taboo word around this house.
We do have the site and caterer booked. But this was an ordeal because my family didn’t want to spend as much as this site cost, so that caused contraversy. We also have the photographer, and she is a family friend and giving us a great deal. Most of the things I am paying for myself, which is wiping out my saving, while going to school. Its all getting overwhelming and I don’t know what to do or where to go.
Is anyone else having these types of problems and HATING wedding planning? Everyone always talks about how weddings are a happy time and I don’t feel so happy 🙁
Post # 3
I think it might benefit you to work out a budget. Do you know who is contributing to the financial side of things? If your parents aren’t chipping in, they don’t have any business knowing what anything is costing, but if they’re paying for a significant portion, they DO have a right to know where their money is going, and that it’s being spent well.
Costs add up REALLY quickly when planning a wedding, so it’s important to go in with a plan. There are countless budget programs out there; try weddingmapper.com or theknot.com and they’ll give you a sample breakdown – then just tweak depending on what you actually want to spend your money on.
At that point, when people ask whether your ideas are financially responsible or not, you’ll be able to point them to your responsibly-created budget and explain that by DIY-ing your centerpieces, you’ve freed up the finances for a six tier cake, or whatever.
Post # 4
((HUGS)) definitely let your mom know that the average wedding in nashville is about 16 months ish to plan.. this may also be a great tool to show her as well to let her know everything you want to do is normal and exciting… can you ask her why she’s not excited about the diy projects or ask her what she suggests etc? also let her know that some wedding dresses take like 9 months to come in… some take shorter but that may get her on the ball, you know… btw is arzelle’s still around in nashville (went to college there and lived there for five years) taking her there to see costs etc may definitely start to anesthesize her. everything involving the word wedding is over priced and it’s quite sad, but that’s the way it is until consumers start refusing the costs.
if you are paying for the majority of the wedding, i would just say “it’s in the budget” whenever they ask how much something costs. that should keep them in check…
Post # 5
Thanks you guys!
Daydreamwanderer – we are basically spliting it half and half. My parents are going to pay for half the wedding, cuz thats what theirs cost 27 years ago and they don’t think prices have gone up that much and I said thats a crazy budget so I added my own thoughts to it. So a budget is in place. Thats a good idea, and I’ve been able to do a lot of research and know how much things run in the area.
crebre80 – yea, I’ve looked at Arzelles. It has such pretty dresses! On the website atleast. And they were having a sample sale and I was kinda of sad that I had to miss that. I like the idea of just saying its in the budget and leaving it at that. And I have shown them budget sites, and they say that its off, because of the celebraties that get married in Nashville, so that causes it to rise, and there is no if and or buts about that. 🙂 By the way, Nashville is such a cool city! Glad you were able to go to school and know where things are!
Thanks girls! I’m not trying to ask them to pay for all the wedding, I just want support in what I want. This has helped me a lot!! I have been dealing with this type of situtation since July, after we got engaged, and I just had had enough last night! Sorry!
Post # 6
I am planning a October 2, 2010 wedding currently as well and I am practically doing everything myself with the help of others. My fiance and I am paying for the majority of the wedding, so I am not letting anyone try to persuade me into anything I dont want to do or persuade me out of something I do want. Remember one thing – this day is about you and your fiance. Everything can be done on a budget and it can be very beautiful. Since we are paying for our wedding ourselves, we are definitely on a budget as well. If you would like some ideas, let me know. Also – I am not sure what type of dress you are looking for, but I do have an extra one that would go GREAT with a fall themed wedding. I love this dress but unfortunately purchased it way too early and it doesnt fit now and it would cost more for alterations than buying a new dress. It is a Maggie Sottero Limited Edition Size 10 in light gold/brown. LEt me know if you are interested in seeing pictures – I am asking $400 for it – I paid $600 and the original price was $900. Good luck with everything!
Post # 7
I definitely feel overwhelmed at times when I look at prices. FH and I are paying for everything on our own with a teeny, tiny budget. I get frustrated because we just want a modest wedding and reception. Even the cheapest of the cheap is expensive! I am trying to think of DIY stuff, but there is only so much I can do!
One positive thing is that at least no one can push their input because they’re not paying for anything!
Post # 8
Hey girl. I’m having similar problems although my family is pretty supportive. My fiance and I are pretty much paying for everything (except the rehearsal dinner and my mom is helping with a lot of the girly things…dress, etc.).
My mom went with me once and didn’t want to go again because she is going through a lot and it really isn’t her thing. So, I just went with my bridesmaids the second time and bought my Karena Royale (like you!) with them.
I have 6 bridesmaids, 2 step parents, and da lot of future in-laws. You know what I found out? Only one bridesmaid is super supportive and listens to everything I say. I had to relaizze that it’s really about me and my fiance. We are the ones who should be excited and it’s ok if no one else wants to talk about it as much as you do. I know it hurts sometimes but just try and focus on you and your fiance and have fun with it as best as you know how.
I’m in school too so I know I’m gonna start stressing real soon (wedding is 8/21/10). All we can is our best and I hope and pray things are getting better for you! All I can say is find those few people you know are supportive and loving, and go to them when needed. Otherwise, don’t let too much get you down. We’re getting married WOOOO!!!! lol Best of luck.
Post # 9
I feel your pain! My mom does the SAME thing. I mention something for my wedding and its like little dollar bills wearing devil horns appear in her eyeballs!!! Her first response is either ‘how much’ or something along the lines of suggesting something that i completely dont like, dont wanna hear about, or will cheapen my whole look!!!! UGH!!! You are SO not the only one and yes, it does SUCK! Just keep thinking of how beautiful your wedding will be in the end and know that it will all settle down afterwords.
Post # 10
I’m so glad to hear I’m not the only one going through these things. (sorry I didn’t flag this one to send me messages). It seems like things are getting better as time goes on. I was talking with a good friend of mine around Christmas and she told me to look at and rememeber that my family is still going through and trying to get adjusted to ‘loosing’ me as a daughter. Even though I’m moving across town, they still aren’t sure how it’s going to be. So hearing that, has helped me a lot! Just keep that in mind!
So I have a few things to sing praises about! Recently she has bought and paid for a dress that I fell in love with!! 🙂 That was about 500 dollars over budget.. a major step! And the best news was that it was a size 8.. I’m a size 2, and all the alterations were free, so I think that helped a lot! And she has been more willing to listen to ideas.. in small doses though.
Just remember. There are people going through the same things 🙂 Stay strong, it will be over with soon! 🙂