Post # 1
Hey Ladies –
So a friend of mine is having a baby in November. A few months ago, she asked if I had one of my shots (whopping cough). I said no, and I didnt plan on getting it. I was overseas living last year, had a lot of shots which is already against my lifestyle (least amount of drugs as possible) and I am super sensitive to shots. At the time, I said I had had alot of other shots and didn’t want any reactions. In my mind, if it is an issue, I will avoid the baby for the first months.
Anyways, so today, she sends me a text saying she called the health unit on this, and that this shot does not conflict with the other shots and there is a warning out for people who are going to come into contact with babies, implying (and felt like pressure) to get this shot.
What are all your thoughts on this??
Post # 3
She sounds like a worried new mom. I would let her know that you understand if she would prefer you not visit with her baby because of your choice not to vaccinate against pertussis. Shrug. Or you could vaccinate if you really want to hold her baby.
Post # 4
You know, my sister wanted me to get that shot when she was pregnant with her baby and I refused. I told her that I soon would be trying to conceive and didnt want to put anything in my body that I was not 100% certain about.
I told that I would stay away from the baby if it meant that much to her and she said ok. Well her gorgeous little guy is now 8 months old and I see him almost everyday and we never talk about the fact that I never got the shot.
Your friend is just over reacting and will get over it unless she is one of those really over protective mothers who’s kid you cant even enjoy because she drives you nuts from her over protective ways.
You know what I mean?
Post # 5
There’s been a public health campaign with tv commercials and whatnot here in the US about this. Basically its one of those disease that people though was declining, not super common anymore but they started to see more cases as adults vaccinations stopped being effective, and adults then passed the disease onto babies (it can be fatal in young children). I think actually asking friends to vaccinate is a little extreme unless you were going to be the childs nanny or something, but honestly I would probably chalk it up to nervous new mother and not get offended. Most likely she was given information at the doctors to encourage her immediate family to make sure they are vaccinated and is scared/worried about it.
If you aren’t comfortable getting the vaccine, just let her know that and tell her while you would love to see the new baby, you understand her concerns and will limit visits until the child is older. Then make sure you only come over when you are in good health/free of cough/cold symptoms.
Post # 6
@jmmacdon: She’s being pushy. So don’t go around the baby. Your choice to vaccinate yourself isn’t her business, but you know she doesn’t want non-vaccinated people around her family, so don’t visit. Her loss.
Post # 7
I don’t know if I would necessarily force every friend I had to get this vaccine, but I know that our doctor encouraged Fiance and me to get one once she found out I was engaged “just in case” and she recommended that family members get it too, especially if they will be around the baby often. With this in mind, Fiance and I are very likely going to make our parents/siblings get this vaccine. Personally, I would be respectful of the new mom and stay away from her baby until you do get vaccinated or until the risk has dissipated. I doubt she would get offended.
Post # 8
Honestly, there’s an outbreak of pertussis and it can be deadly to newborn babies. She may be worried because you travelled, and is just looking at it as a precaution. I wouldn’t be offended, but if you don’t want to get the shot (you don’t have to) I would avoid the baby until he/she is old enough for the vaccine themselves, then you (or the mom) won’t have to worry.
Post # 9
I think she’s just being a nervous new mom. There are lots of things out there to scare us when we’re pregnant or have a newborn. Whooping cough is VERY scary for new mom’s and can be fatal to a small child.
If you’re not comfortable with getting a vaccine, that is fine. She may want to make the choice to avoid contact with you while her child is vulnerable to catching the illness.
Post # 10
I would never ask anyone to have a vaccination, but I really do understand your friend.
Diseases that were almost extinct are coming back full force because people have stopped getting vaccinated for them. I have a friend who chose not to have her child vaccinated at all and I really limit her childs contact with Dirty Delete.
Post # 11
While I understand why you’d be upset, I don’t think she’s entirely unjustified in asking you to do this. My Future Mother-In-Law has asked me to get flu shots and keep up-to-date on my other vaccinations because my Future Brother-In-Law has had a heart transplant and anything, even the flu, could possibly kill him or cause him a lot of pain because of his immunosuppressants (he’s now 18, but I’ve known him since he got his heart transplant at age 13). I guess it’s different because I’m not against vaccinations, but I gladly do this for them. Getting a vaccine for me is so easy compared to the ailments my Future Brother-In-Law will have if I infect him with something. Just consider the alternatives, or stay away from the baby. I think your friend is justified.
Post # 12
I understand what you guys are saying….but I have three things sticking in my head:
*She called the health unit about my specific case
*We used to be close, but now we only see each other at work. At best, I would maybe see the baby once..or twice within the first 6 months..
THIS IS NOT GOING TO SOUND RIGHT AND I AM SORRY I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND – *Isn’t it a presumptious as a person to pressure people to get a shot? I don’t make any comments on her health choices, in regard to her or her new child…how does the mother card trumph everything?
Post # 13
@jmmacdon: I don’t think the motehr card trumphs everything, but it seems like you’re taking this much too personally. She was probably just worried, but she can’t force anyone to get vaccinated. I am a nanny and the mother made sure I was up to date all my vaccinations before I started. There are a few diseases that are making a comeback due to lack of vaccination, so her doctor probably provided her info on it, so she got worried. It’s whatever. If you don’t see her that often, then I wouldn’t really take it this much to heart.
Post # 14
I think its OK for her to worry like that, but I also wouldn’t get it because of said pressure.
Post # 15
No way in hell would I get an unnecessary shot just to be around someone’s baby. Asking a friend (or even family member for that matter) to do this is a bit presumptuous. If this new mom is that concerned about disease, she probably shouldn’t take her child out in public since you can’t control what vaccinations society has had.
Post # 16
She may not have called the health unit about you specifically, but about people shes been talking to in general. I highly doubt you are the only person she asked/ didn’t want to get vaccinated.
The mother card doesn’t trump everything, but in this case I really would chalk it up to a new mom being scared and let it go. If her doctor gave her the info they gave out in the states, it makes the disease sound extremely scary- focuses on the possibility of death or permanent disabilities if a young child gets it and pretty much makes it sound like every person out there is just waiting for a chance to infect an infant. It is a serious disease, and they are definitly trying to get that point across.
She may also feel that she is sharing helpful info more then pressuring you to do something you don’t want to. More like hey have you heard about _____ supplement, diet, medicine, etc. If she really is a close friend I would make the allowance for her under the circumstances.