Post # 1
So, I’m having a major cleanup of my room, and already have 2 lockable boxes of diaries and letters. But under my bed, I found numerous other diaries and notebooks I’ve written in over the years. I will need a whole chest to lock them away safely…
But part of me thinks – what happens if I die and someone – SO or family – reads them and finds an entry I’ve made when I was upset with them, and I’m not there to explain myself? With my SO, we’ve been through rough patches and I wrote down exactly how I felt just to vent, and it would break my heart if he saw something negative about him when it’s not how I felt as a whole, just how I felt at that particular time. And really, am I going to sit down and read them?
What do you bees think? Keep them, or leave the negativity in the past and destroy them?
Post # 3
@Deejayelle: I myself have kept mine, but now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t know why I do. I’m thinking I’ll destroy mine. 🙂 But it’s totally up to you!
Post # 4
Destroy…Why because they are part of your past and what you wrote back then you were in a different time and space. The last thing you need is for your FI/SO reading your most intimate thoughts when you werent with him or even knew him.
I threw my old ones away and I have created more journals since my Fiance has been away in Afghainstan and I dont mine if he were to read them because they involve us.
Post # 5
I’ve been keeping journals since 2005 and it’s great to look back and see how far I’ve come.
When I die, I’m sure the last thing they’ll be worried about is some of the negative things I’ve said about them in my journals. Because in there, are happy, loving pieces as well.
One day, I hope my kids will read them. And realize where they get their psycho from.
Post # 6
I have ones dating back to about 1995 (11 years old)… i’ve kept them because I like to read them, and have an arrangement with a good friend to come get them/destroy them if I died suddenly. Who knows if that would actually happen, but I’d hope my family/friends would respect my privacy even after my death?? I dunno though…
Post # 7
I have thrown all of my old diaries away. They just didn’t seem relevant anymore, it’s almost as if another person wrote them.
Post # 8
I legit have ALL of my diaries from age 12 to college. Like 30 diaries in all!
Post # 9
When I want to write when I’m angry at my SO, I write it on a loose leaf sheet of paper, rather than in my diary/journal. And then I destroy it when I’m done with it. My reasoning is that I don’t want anyone to come across it at any point in the future. Like you I would be concerned that someone might read my diary with the upset entries in it at some point.
Post # 10
Keep. Even Anne Frank complained about her family in her diary. I think anyone reading it will acknowledge the things were said in a moment of anger, and that EVERYONE has those thoughts, whether they say them, write them down privately, or just keep them stuffed down inside.
Another reason for keeping them is this: Some day, I will be old. I may or may not remember what it was like to be young. I don’t want to be one of those old people who deifies her younger self. Knowing that it sucked just as much back then, but in different ways, might not only help me keep hold of those memories longer, but also help me to realize that just because I am 75 and unhappy, my life isn’t over–because I was once 25 and unhappy, and life wasn’t over then, either. It got better.
Post # 11
I was legit just thinking about this. I have 2 old diaries from back when i was in highschool/college. I would DIE if anyone read them.
I’m thinking i will destroy them. They are the past, and i stopped writing when i met my Fiance. There are only so many ways to say “i’m happy” in your journal lol.
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Deejayelle: It depends. Are you writing them solely for yourself or for others? You can always put them in a lockbox or bank box and add them to your will so that nobody other than a select person or organization can receive them and read them. Diaries are important examples of every day life for future generations to understand how we lived during our time. It’s amazing that you have consistently written in a diary or journal for long! Maybe will them to a literary college or organization and request that they not be opened or read until 50 years after your death to ensure that your SO and children are less likely to be around to read them and get offended.
Post # 13
I say destroy. Never leave anything in writing some one can be hurt by, or that gives out very personal ideas/actions you’ve done.
I’ve never had a diary tho, I was put on alert with the first one I got that if my parent’s found it they would read it.
I’m the one that cleaned out my mom’s stuff when she passed away, my dad just couldn’t handle it. I gave the love letters to/from my dad to him and he handed them over to me and said I could read them. My brother and I did read them, and it was nice to see the love they had but you should know most of your stuff will get read thru when you’re gone.
Post # 14
@BabyCarat: I have been doing this lately too. I found that if I kept them around and reread them I would getupset all over again. We do that enough to ourselves that having a full out memory to revisit probably isn’t good for the relationship.
On the other hand I was faced with the same issue when I moved in with my SO last year. I ended up throwing almost all of mine away. I am not sure if I regret it now – but can say as though I don’t think abotu it much and will probably forget over the next few years.
I wasn’t locked in an attic or went through anything else to be potentially useful in teaching humbleness to another generation – so we are all probably better off.
Post # 15
I’ve destroyed mine. One was written while I was going through a 3-year depression. I’m so far removed from who I was during that period that rereading it would only be bad. Diaries from elementary school would be fun, but during those formative years when things were really bad – no thanks!
Post # 16
@suburbian: I know what you mean. I came across an old diary of mine and read it (mistake) and read the entry from when I broke up with my first Boyfriend or Best Friend who I was madly in love with at the time. Reading it brought me right back to how upset I was at that time, and I was mad at myself for having read it. My Boyfriend or Best Friend moved in last spring and I still have my diaries, but they’re not in a box or anything. Maybe I should get one so that they’re all in one place and secure, although I know he’d never read them. But sometimes it’s nice to have my diaries from before I started dating when life was simpler, hehe.