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Old Friends coming out of the woodwork

posted 9 months ago in Relationships
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    Bumble bee
    Monkeyface    August 20, 2011  

    It seems weddings, funerals, or any big occasions bring old friends out of the woodwork. I have heard from two old friends who have contacted me this week to ask about my wedding and express their congratulations. The messages are simple but the history with these people makes me question their motives. As much as I want to be nice, I just want to move on with my life. We haven't communicated in years and it even got the point where we didn't acknowledge each other in passing. I don't care to hear from them at every change because I no longer consider them friends or want them to be part of my life. I don't think its appropriate to not reply but then part of me does not want to open the door for conversation since I have moved on. Has this happened to anyone else? 

     
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    CanAmBride    September 25, 2010  

    I can only assume that people are reaching out to you on Facebook, and I can say that this is the exact reason that I do not have Facebook. Every time a friend says "so and so who we went to high school with is getting married" all I can think is "if I wanted to know about so and so's life, I would have stayed friends with them." I felt the same way about my wedding "if I wanted these people to be a part of my day, I would still be talking to them."

    I have no patience for people who only pop into your life when something dramatic (good or bad) is happening. 

     
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    jennifer_espos    June 18, 2010   NYC

    I think with the invention of FB this has been happening a lot more.  You're much more accessible to people and they can't help but be nosy.  When I got engaged it happened to me too.  And I remember thinking, "Wait, didn't we have a falling out years ago?  Why are they being so nice?".  But I'm not good at totally snubbing people, so I always responded.  I was sure to give them just the basics and not really entertain further dialogue, eventually they give up. 

     
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    Bee Keeper
    organizedbride11    November 11, 2011   Illinois

    It happens. Its annoying but it happens lol. If you dont want to be in touch with them, then you dont have to. You arent close. IM sure with wedding planning etc they know you are busy. I wouldnt feel obligated to talk to them, but Im also rude like that lol

     
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    People would send me congratulations and I would just say thank you. I think it's normal when you hear that someone is having something big happen in their life that it makes you feel nostalgic, sad your not a part, but happy for that person none the less.  I don't think it's that big of deal. It's not like they're asking to come to your wedding.

     
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    Honey bee
    Zinzerena    April 14, 2012   Virginia

    This is why I have my FB locked down tight.  And I'm paranoid about it, too, so I'm frequently checking it.  I also frequently check my FI's, since he likes it being locked down but doesn't always check it.  (Before anyone says I shouldn't, I ASK HIM if he wants me to, and he always says 'yes'.)  

    The only thing I end up getting are idiots who want to friend me because they think I'm a model or actress.  Yes, I have photos that models would have and yes I'm friends with a lot of actors, no I'm not either. 

    So far, I don't have the unwanted former classmates popping up on my FB account.  Probably because I don't have my maiden name ANYWHERE on FB and the majority don't know I've gotten married (I also skipped out on my 10 year reunion).  

     

     

     
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    Sugar bee
    .twist.    October 7, 2011   Alberta, Canada

    This happened to me too, although a little differently. I was invited to an old girlfriends bachelorette (she was having a destination wedding, and I knew I wasn't invited to that), but I thought it would be nice to go and say hi and have a fun night with old friends. This was all in April 2011.

    That was all fine, and it was nice to see everyone. However, a few months later now, I haven't heard a peep from them at all. I figure they only invited me to show off that she was getting married and to have more people "celebrate"! Which, looking back, I think is rude.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Monkeyface    August 20, 2011  

    This was actually done in a voicemail. I don't answer unknown numbers so I was surprised to hear from people who haven't used my number in years! I do have a facebook account but these people are not my facebook friends. I'm one of those people who has a small, limited friend list of only close family and friends. 

     
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    Beekeeper
    bells    June 26, 2011  

    Thats odd, I wonder how they got your number

     
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    Sugar bee
    kperry3    January 1, 1991  

    Yea this happened to me as well on Facebook. I just replied, thanks for the congratulations. I didn't really want to start a conversation with them. It was only a few people, and most of them I'm not mad at... we just haven't spoken in years, so it's weird. And then there is always the, "Hey you're getting married! Am I invited?!" I just ignore those comments because really, did you really think I was inviting you when it's been 10 plus years since we've spoken? That's laughable!

     
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    Sugar bee
    soyjoy222    June 1, 2012   PA

    It happened to me, too. Facebook is not always a fun thing.

     

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