Old guy friends

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sarahroby:  It’s your choice. You either literally stop talking to them all, and resign any sort of outside relationship or you realize that you are not his property and continue to be friends with whoever the hell you want to. 

Post # 4
Member
7406 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Mimoza:  +1000

Telling you who you can and can’t be friends with is very controlling behaviour.

Post # 5
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@sarahroby:  I don’t know what you should do, but I would find a new boyfriend, one who isn’t so insecure and untrusting that he dictates who I am allowed to be friends with.

Post # 6
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree that telling you who you can and cannot be friends with is exceptionally controlling behavior.

I want to remind anyone reading that thread that this goes for women too — Telling your SO he can’t talk to his ex/ex friend/female friend/friend in general is just as controlling.

Post # 7
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

@sarahroby:  Is he demanding you don’t talk to them, or letting you know it makes him uncomfortable? He can’t MAKE you do anything, so that’s why I ask. 

Boundaries are the key with this situation. As long as you and your guy friends are respectful toward your relationship then I don’t see an issue. My SO decided he should stop talking to his ex/friend because her behavior was getting out of line with random – “I miss you”, “I still love you”, etc. Once that started it was a major friendship turn-off for him.

Post # 9
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

@sarahroby:  Just make sure your SO is aware that your friends know and respect your relationship. I think he just isn’t used to it, and it makes him uncomfortable. 

If your guy friends text/call you a lot, maybe it would help to ease up. Especially, if it happens often when y’all are spending quality time together. 

Post # 10
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@sarahroby:  did he say why it makes him uncomfortable?

 

Post # 12
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@sarahroby:  I would try to take a very objective look at these guys and your relationships. If they don’t think of you as anything but a friend/coworker/”sister” then your BF could be a little more trusting, thanks very much. If he knows them or somehow gets vibes that they’re into you, even if you don’t return the feelings, I can understand where he’s coming from. Its not fun to have other folks lurking around your partner “just in case.” STILL…. do what you want, and he should trust you enough to happily let you. If he ever starts demanding, I agree with PPs, time to go!!

Post # 13
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@sarahroby:  What does he say when you’ve raised it with him?

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