Post # 1
History- I was engaged about 6 years ago and at the time my closest friends were my cousins and the girl I grew up with. I called off my wedding for different reasons.
Present- Now I’m engaged to the man of my dreams! I’ve grown up a lot in the last 6 years, but my own car(s), house, and have two great pets! I also met some of my closest friends! While some of my cousins and I drifted apart. Why because they are much younger then I am and are now in college and making their own friends.
So here is my problem- Who do I ask to be in my wedding now? Will I hurt the feelings of my cousins?
I am keeping my childhood friend and my cousin who is my bestfriend. But I’d like to have one of my girlfriends because we met when I was calling off my wedding and she was there for me when I needed someone the most! Plus I’m her maid of honor in her wedding! So those three are set.
My one cousin doesn’t like being in a dress and will more then likely be relieved to not be in it. But the youngest one who I only see/talk to now at Christmas is the one I’m worried about.
I also, plan to now have my sister-in-law . I was her maid of honor… she married my brother, and another very close friend who I went to graduate school with.
So that gives me 6 bridesmaids. And he only has 3 groomsmen.
What do I do with my youngest cousin? I don’t know if she’s the type to be a reader… but who knows I don’t know her now as an adult?!
Post # 3
I think that if you still included her in your wedding she would be happy. Maybe make her your bridal attendant. She would be in charge of helping you on the Day Of your wedding. Like hanging on to things for you and helping with tasks that you can’t ask your maids to do (possibly because they are needed for photos etc…)
I have a girlfriend who I am very close to but couldn’t have her as a maid in my wedding. She was really happy to be included at all and I asked her to be my personal attendant. She is already putting together an emergency kit for me… 🙂
Post # 4
That’s tough. Originally I was going to say, no you don’t have to have the first BMs. But if she’s going to be the only one excluded, maybe you should. The bridal party is already uneven, what’s one more? If you really have something against it, then don’t stress too much. But I’m guessing you could go either way.
I think if I was in this position I would probably try to include people so as notto hurt feelings. But that’s just me.
Oh and 7 Bms to 3 GMs works fine. Maid/Matron of Honor walks alone. The GMs double up on the remaining BMs. Now what Gm wouldn’t like that?
Post # 5
I say have them all if you can! My Fiance has kind of insisted on limiting the number of bridesmaids to be even with groomsmen, but if your Fiance has no issue with it then have them all!
It’s funny, when I read the title of your post I was picturing a sweet old grandma Bridesmaid or Best Man and then a really young Bridesmaid or Best Man…like, which one, this old one or this ‘new’ one?
Post # 6
Thanks for all your advice! I’ve still been in limbo on the whole thing! Fiance doesn’t care if it is uneven for Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen. And honestly I don’t either. I still have sometime to figure this one out.
Post # 7
Take some time with it. Because you are not set in stone about the entire party, I’d wait a few more months before you ask anyone. Also, regarding the other cousin, I would definitely look for a way to get her involved in an alternate way, perhaps doing a reading or something…
Post # 8
I would say ask the people who are important to you in your life now. I’ve been engaged before too, and my BM’s will be the original 3 and a high-school friend I have gotten close to again.
I know there are other girls in my family that my mum would like me to ask….but it’s OUR wedding…I am having girls standing with me who have known me a long time, and all of them have been through thick and thin with me.
I don’t want to look back at my wedding 30 years from now and think why did I ask HER?
My mum is still best friends with her 2 bridesmaids…..37 years after her & my dad’s wedding.