Post # 1
My fiance is 15 years older than me, and I feel that some people are constantly judging our relationship. My family love him and I am head over heals. We have been dating for three years and he is amazing, neither of us our concerned about the age thing, but sometimes people make me second guess myself with the faces they make. The funny thing is these same people are either single, or with men that I personally feel don’t even compare to my fiance. Are there any other young brides who are marrying an older guy out there.
It should also be noted that I have never been attracted to anyone my age, I have always liked older guys.
Post # 3
yep my fi is 11 years older than me and I get it all the time!
Post # 4
@MissKimchi:It really sucks though, I wonder if the fact that Im only 24 makes it such a big deal. Funny thing is I never think about it until other people bring it up.
Post # 5
My FI is 5 years older than me but I look WAY younger than I actually am so people tend to give us a lot of strange looks. We just think it’s funny and laugh at stupid people who assume things.
Post # 6
yep i’m 27 and we’ve been together since I was 24. It bugs my fi more than it does me…when I really want to annoy him, i’ll bring up the fact that I was only 7 when he was graduating HS…he hates it…BWHAHHAA! 🙂
Post # 7
I’m not marrying someone much older than me, but I thought I would share that my aunt and uncle (who have been married for 24 years now) are 18 years apart. I guess it caused a big stir with EVERYONE when it first happened, but nowadays no one thinks anything of it because it’s so obviously they are head over heels for each other…even after 24 years!
Post # 8
@5292010: Awwww thats great!!, I guess 24 years from now we’ll have to show them
Post # 9
My sister and her husband are 24 years apart (55 and 79. Some family members questioned their relationship and comments were made, but they are really happy and I think they are the perfect pair.
It’s no one else’s business. If your sweetie makes you happy and vice-versa, then all is good. We never know how long we have with our spouse, so each day is precious no matter what our age.
Post # 10
My FI is only a couple years older, so I cant empathize, but I have to say shame on people for judging! thats ridiculous! i feel like the older we get, the less and less it matters. now, if you were 17 dating someone 30 or older, that may be a bit odd, but when we’re older, who cares!
Post # 11
I’m only 5 years younger than my FI, but like eeh2010 said I look alot younger ( I get carded even for R rated movies still..) .
A stand up comic made fun of us once talking about my FI going home to “do it” with his teenage girlfriend and my FI to this day is upset about it.
( the comic was alot more crude than my quote & I’m not a teenager lol)
People will nitpick everything, there will always be haters. And like clairdarling said the older you get the less it matters, If I was 16 and he was 21, thats alot different than 35 and 40.
Post # 12
My FH is 16 years older than I am – I’m 28 and he is 44. We’ve been together for almost 4 years now. I’ve never really noticed any weird glances or comments, except from some of his female (and in their 40’s) co-workers, who have “joked” that I’m some part of a mid-life crisis.
My family, including mom and dad, think he and I are a perfect pair, and often say I’m lucky to have him! lol
Even though I look younger than I am (and he does too, I think) – I also am very self assured when we go out, which I think reflects too. I also have a professional career and had an independent life before him, so it’s not like I was a kid who moved in with a grownup.
Ignore the haters, and just be happy! 🙂
Post # 13
I hear you on this post! My husband is 23 years older than me. I know my family was SHOCKED when they found out his TRUE age (I told them he was 30, rather than 45). When my family saw how much older he was than me, they were shocked and worried for me. Yes, we broke up for 2 days (but got back together). I was getting pushed by my mom too. It was after that, that my parents knew that I was serious about this guy. (I snuck out one afternoon just to see him and I was caught by my dad! ekkkk!) It all worked out in the end though!!! My family LOVES him now and he treats me like a princess! 🙂
I got questions all the time about “Why don’t you find someone else closer in age to you?” “He will break your heart, fast.” All kinds of stuff people in my town told me would happen. My employer even told me NOT to do it, it just wasn’t worth it! OMG! Everyone was SOOOO wrong!
I like having an older husband. He’s mature and I can rely on him for anything and everything. I know he’s been where I am at some point, but he helps me through it.
Keep your head up! It will all work out. Don’t let the comments get you down. If you seriously love him (seeing FI I know you do!) nobody can bring you down. Don’t second guess yourself! You’ve made a good choice.
Post # 14
My fiance is 55 and I’m 29, so that is a 26 year difference! But we have rarely received any funny looks or negative comments from anyone. In fact, I can’t remember anyone telling us we shouldn’t be together, just some curious questions from aquaintences and co-workers about if we were planning on having children. (Yes, we are!) And our families have been very supportive, as much so as if we were marrying someone “our own age”.
Post # 15
I am 25 and FI is 38 (39 in Oct) so it’s about a 13.5 year difference for us.
His family is so happy for us, but my family has had a harder time understanding. Not only is he older, but I’m an East Coast girl, and he is a true-blue southern, raised in LA, country type of guy. We have the same values and morals, but the biggest differences are the ones that are most obvious: age, education (he went straight to work instead of going to college), demeanor, area-of-origin (he has a strong southern accent/speech, VERY different from me/my family).
He has been married before but is divorced and did not have any kids. He wants children SO BADLY and figured it just wasn’t in the cards for him to be a dad, and he resolved himself to thinking that way… that is until he met me. 🙂
I’ve always wanted to be a mom, too, so we are definitely planning on having a family.
He just gets very concerned about his age and having kids that he (half-jokingly) makes comments about wanting to get me pregnant NOW saying “let’s have a Little One! Pleeaasee??” and I’m constantly telling him “we will! Just not until after the wedding!” “Not until we get our house!” lol, which he is totally on board with, but he figures it never hurts for him to keep asking me because “I might surprise him one day and say let’s do it!” Hahaha
Needless to say, we are very happy, balance each other out really well with our strengths/weaknesses, and are both on the same page (for the most part haha).
Mostly, people are fine with us as a couple except for the ones that just don’t know him well yet, and unfortunately they judge him a little too harshly without knowing him well first.
Wow this was long..sorry! 🙂
Post # 16
I am so happy to see other bees with 20+ years between them and their FIs/husbands! My FI is 24 years older than me – I am 26 and he will turn 50 two days before we get married.
My parents were concerned at first, although they understand the age difference thing – Dad is 13 years older than Mom. Their biggest concern was that he has been married before and has children around my age. Honestly though, his kids are adults and have their own lives; I’ve never even met one of them (she’s a story of her own).
But no one in my family ever really made comments. Of course they were concerned for my happiness and well-being, but they quickly saw that he treats me like a queen and that we’re two peas in a pod, so to speak. Friends on the other hand… well, I’ve posted a time or two about one “friend” who had said to me that she finds a big age difference strange, but was happy for me, who then turned around and posted on MySpace (*rolls eyes* of course she did) that big age differences – “like when one person is old enough to be the other’s parent” – are “disgusting” and “wrong” and a whole host of other adjectives, and judging anyone who partakes in such a relationship. (What I realize now is that she’s just jealous and upset because I’m happy and she’s single.)
I do notice, however, when we’re out in public… no one has ever said so much, but I can tell by the way a waitress or salesperson treats me sometimes that they think I’m his daughter. That kind of irks me a little, but there’s really nothing I can do about it.