Older sister angry I might get engaged before her!

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2052 posts
Buzzing bee


I’m sorry that you are dealing with this.

…as sisters, I would *think* that you could both just be happy for each other.  I don’t have a sister….BUT I do know what it’s like to have my younger brother propose marriage to his GF and as an older sister…it DOES kind of suck Undecided

….know what’s even harder?  THE HOLIDAYS just as you said, being around family and the holidays, can just be a reminder of what you don’t have and the pressure is ON.

With that said, I’m happy that you are about to be engaged!  This is a very exciting time in your life.  It’s exciting that you and your SO are ring shopping!!!  Do you have your ring picked out?  Do you know when it’s going to happen?  Let’s focus on the positives here!! 

Congrats and Happy Thanksgiving!

Post # 4
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@HoyaTerpDC:  that really sucks. I do kinda get where you sisters emotions are coming from, but it’s unfortunate that she’s feeling this way.

I hope that when the time comes for both of you, you can work it out so you can both enjoy your weddings even if they are close together.


Post # 5
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t have a sister so I don’t know how I would feel about this. It’s shameful to say, but honestly, if I were the older sister and had been with my boyfriend for twice as long, I would probably be disappointed too, but more so with my boyfriend than jealous of my sister, haha. If she brings it up again, maybe you can just say what you stated in your post – that you’re both with great guys, and are very lucky! Anyway, congrats on the impending proposal, that’s very exciting!

Post # 6
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@HoyaTerpDC:  I’m glad you’re being mature about this.

Can I say one thing though: siblings’ weddings too close together can be an issue. Not for vain reasons like the bride’s “special time”, but for the practical reason that relatives need to find the time to travel to two weddings. You may may need to have a discussion, and every family is different, but my personal opinion is siblings’ wedding should be 2-3 months apart at least. Hopefully it will work out!

Post # 8
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@HoyaTerpDC: I’m the older sister.  My sister (2 years younger) and I had a long running joke that she could have babies first, she just wasn’t allowed to be engaged first – we had both started dating our respecive FI’s within a couple months of each other – me first by about 3 months.  Well, Valentines day 2012, when she’s about 4 months pregnant, her BF proposed.  She sent me a text the next morning saying she had to tell me something – I knew right away.  She told me via text, she was afraid I’d be angry.  They had realized that with the baby coming they wanted to be engaged. 

I’ll admit, I was upset.  I cried – not to her.  I tried not to.  MY FI asked me what was wrong and I told him, and he laughed at me, and told me ‘you know i’m going to marry you right?  I promise I’m going to marry you’.  I was genuinely happy for my sister (as much as I dislike her FH), but I felt terrible that she was afraid to tell me, and yes, i was a little upset that my little sister got hers first.  I didn’t get my proposal until 13 months later.  We will be getting married first – sister is in no rush.

I guess the point of my story is that you sister probably is a little jealous, and I can understand where she’s coming from.  But she will be genuinely happy for you as well.  I woudl try and avoid planning 2 semi-DW’s in the same year if you’re concerned about people travelling, but people have a way of making it happen when it’s something important.

Post # 9
7 posts

Aww, tread lightly and politely. I just went through my little sister’s wedding. I’m in my mid 30’s. She early 30’s. I was happy for her, but knew what lied a head of me. Jokes were made from “does it bother you that SHE got married first?” To “is your SO  ever going to commit?”  To “will you actually be able to have kids?”  It was Awful, but did my best to celebrate my sister and her new husband. so I guess my advice is be happy about your relationship, but know she’s scared of how others might perceive her. 

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