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i'm sorry but i couldn't help but laugh at this! they are being absolutely ridiculous and you should not be afraid to tell them in no uncertain terms that they have to make a decision now, or they will be left out of the final count.
btw, cincinnati probably will make the playoffs this year...so hopefully you can count them out since they don't think your wedding is a priority in their lives anyways.
SOOO sorry your have to go that. I'd be fuming mad too. You can say Kudos to the Reds, but unfortunately you need a final count by the end of the week to give to your vendor and need to know ASAP. and top the email off to your uncle by repeating what he said "Im sure you can understand that this is a once in a lifetime moment"
In their defense, the Red have been REALLY terrible for a REALLY long time.
How close is your FI to this Aunt/Uncle? I'd let him make the call. The truth is most people are still trying to finalize a guest list the week before the wedding.
Sigh! The RSVP rant... I think every bride deals with this but man, that is one crappy excuse!!! I don't blame you one bit for being angry.
Is there anyway you can assign them to a seat that wouldn't matter much if it was empty? Not sure how big of a guest list you are expecting but there are usually a couple no-shows if it's a sizable crowd so if your aunt/uncle don't show it wouldn't be too bad...and if they do, and they're unhappy with the seat then you can politely explain that you had no choice since they didn't offer a full RSVP. =P
Just an idea... Hope it helps!
OMG I would be furious! How is that game more important than your wedding?!?!?! Like the poster above said, just politely tell them you'll need a final answer by your RSVP deadline, not after and see what happens.
Oh wow. I'm sorry. We have been moving our date around trying to find the best time. First we picked, without thinking about it, Memorial/Indy 500 weekend, then my sister and two cousins graduation weekend, then Father's Day weekend! Pure craziness. Not only that but my parents are big boaters and are giving us grief about cutting into their boating time since it will be on a weekend.
Personally I would e-mail a reply that of course I understand, but unfortunately the head count must be submitted way before then for the venue(s). So I must assume the answer is no and that I would love to get together for a celebratory dinner AFTER the playoffs are over and we have returned from the honeymoon and things have settled down a bit.
WOW. o_o That is... actually really inconsiderate of them. I would just politely say that you'll have to count them out because of the reasons you mentioned, unless they can say they'll be going 100%. It'd be pretty ridiculous of them to get mad at you for that considering they're the ones who are planning to miss out on their niece's wedding for a baseball game on TV. That clearly shows the event isn't THAT important to them.
I'd be really insulted if a family member told me a baseball game trumps my wedding. They'd be better off just telling me they may not be able to make it and not mention why lol.
@LGenz: Most people are trying to finalize the guest list a week before the wedding? THAT I have never heard! How would one know the number of seats for the ceremony or the head count for the reception?
@bluespurrs
I was finalizing mine the week before the wedding. Two days before 3 of my "friends" ditched and we asked another couple to come...who didnt say yes or not till about 2 days before the wedding. It happens.
@bluespurrs: Well this is only in my experience, but all my friends/Co-workers have had to chase at least ONE couple down right until the last minute. Unless you're renting the EXACT amount of chairs you need for the ceremony you should be able to accomodate a couple stragglers.
I made a joke, but that is seriously crazy that they thought that was an acceptable reason and also thought it was OK to share with you.
SO annoying.
I had a ton of guest list re-arranging the week before the wedding. From my cousin who changed his RSVP THREE times (it was yes, then no, then only him and not his wife, then both), to my friend who requested that she bring her boyfriend THE WEEK BEFORE (I said yes, b/c my cousin had just canceled, then he didn't come and she never told me until the rehearsal dinner), to my uncle and his family (5 people) that told me "We have to see if we can get flights" and who I wasn't sure about until they actually showed up, to my other cousin that brought a random boyfriend.
But. Our reception had no seating chart, so I wasn't changing all of that at least. It's not meant personally, but it can be hard not to take it that way.
Oh my goodness - that is CRAZY! I would be mad too! Even though they are your aunt and uncle, you almost don't even want them there if they would choose a baseball game over your wedding!
haha, reminds me of when my dad wanted me to change the date of our wedding because it was on opening weekend for bow hunting! umm, sorry dad, you can hunt any other weekend!
oh dear. Silly guests. I would say, I understand your stand point but unfortunately, our stand point is that we need to get numbers into the vendors. Please let us know by the RSVP date or we will assume you cannot come because the Reds are playing.
At least it's the playoffs! I actually vetoed my fiance's request for an October wedding because I knew *I* would bail if my team had a big playoff game. (or at the very least spend half the time checking scores)
Seriously, yes, that is pretty rude. But how close are you to them? How far removed are they from the whole wedding planning thing? I think that once people forget about all the stress and details that are required and how far ahead of time, it's less obvious what is totally out of control rude behavior and what's a little silly or mildly inconsiderate.
They obvi have no clue how weddings work these day!..... sighhh. I'd explain to them that the numbers have to be turned in prior to their choosing to come date. Maybe then they'll realize how selfish they're being by putting you in the position. Give them an ultimatium!
ok- that is seriously funny.But that is what RSVP deadlines are for. YES or NO- not depending on... XYZ...
@Entangled: I had the same thought, which is likely why we ended up on the same day! We were looking at October, but realized that (hopefully) I'd be wondering about the game.
Perhaps it's ignorance on their part ... but you have every right to be frustrated with their response!!
what a bunch of jerks.
I went to a wedding this weekend and offered to drive my SO and his brother so they didn't have to worry about the 45 min drive home afterwards. My SO's brother complained that he was missing the football season opener from his college. Seriously? It's your cousin's wedding, and your complaining about missing a stupid football game (for a school that isn't even a division 1 school-- playing some crappy team no one cares about)-- you only have so many cousins (or in your case nieces/nephews), it's so bothersome that some people don't understand how important of a day a wedding is. I personally don't want people like that at my wedding. I'd tell them I'll mark them as a 'no' and hope for them that Cincinnati makes the playoffs.
As a reds fan, I still find that so rude! I am a huge OSU fan, and ended up getting married on an OSU game day. The only way to avoid it would have required us to pick a different church (we really wanted ours) and besides, I didn't want to get married in the winter, and didn't want to wait another six months to finally live together. Our wedding was at 1:30, the game was at 7, but I obviously missed it. If I can miss an OSU game, they can miss a POSSIBLE reds game.
I would just tell them that you have to turn in a definite number, that you'll miss them but hope the reds do well.
My Grandpa skipped my wedding because his GF was moving that day. Yep. I feel you! We also had a lot of people RSVP yes and then not show up.
It's very frustrating. Just e-mail back saying you need a definit number and to re-RSVP Yes for real or they aren't coming.
Oh, honey, I totally feel you. I just posted about this today, we still have to find out rsvp's of 51 people, with two and a half weeks to go. Yeah, it's that crazy. To be honest, I'd suggest just being blunt with them. Let them know that you have cutoffs for head counts and rentals. And if they can't let you know, then they just can't come. It's so rude.
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So. Like many of the bees on this board, I am experiencing moderate frustration with occasional bouts of a very distilled kind of anger.
FI's aunt and uncle RSVPed yes to our October wedding. Great. Then, a few weeks later, FI recieved an email explaining that while they RSVPed yes, they aren't sure if they can actually come because (drumroll, please) the Cincinnati Reds *might* make the playoffs this year, and if they do, the game will take the taco on the day we wed. FI's uncle topped the email off with my personal favorite remark, "I'm sure you understand that this would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!". Um...you mean kind of like YOUR NIECE'S WEDDING? They explained that they would be happy to let us know whether they would attend, a week before the wedding. A week. A %$#*&! WEEK. So, now we are in this awkward place where we have to find a polite way of telling them they can either give us an answer now, or we will simply not include them in our plans. We have to turn in numbers to vendors, make our seating plan, etc.
Anyone else experiencing this insane degree of selfish rudeness? Do they think we pulled an RSVP date out of our rectums, just for sillies? *insert anger here*