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Just had a talk with my bf and he said he wants to move the proposal to next june instead of november 2009 .and i asked him why (while crying like a big baby) and his answer was he would just prefer it then.uhmmmmmm WHAT!!!!!
this is just out of nowehere and of course i just say okay if thats what he wants but now im upset about it, because we even had it planned to announce it at our christmas party on december 12th :( ....
I dont know what to think or do he said its nothing i did or said or didnt do hewas just thinking and wants it then instead of now...
what should i do?
He may be trying to throw you off, so that he can surprise you with a proposal soon?
i wish he wouldnt make me this upset to do that i know him too well.
huh.... you booked an actual proposal time slot and it was Nov 2010???
seriously, happy news is good news no matter what the timeline so if you want that ring slipped on your finger say yes and be happy now - why wait is my motto
goodluck and congrats!
i need mroe than luck at this point .And i wish he would just get it now and put the ring on my finger was his plan to wait until november after he moved in to do it and i agreed but now hes waiting longer and I jave just hit a state of indifference, dont think i even care if i get it anymore
ahhh - so you mean proposal was suppose to be Nov 2009 (your post above has Nov 2010) and now he wants to wait to June 2010.. is that right??
yeah sorry just edited it . the proposal was suppsoed to be in 2 months ,but now he wants to wait 8 :S
ok... well yes, i would be PISSED if he changed his mind but does he have a reason for the change??
sending hugs because i would be pretty upset......
well hes a lucky man.. because i would be slapping that "just because" to the ground real quick... but then again, im a kinda impatient and get it now kinda gal
well.. he could be trying to fake you out or he could have finance issues at the moment - do you guys discuss your finances? is he the type to plan a trip away for something like that?
really sending hugs because if it was me, i would be needing it right now
no financial problems whatsoever.and yeah i am pretty certain ti is not a fake out , and he has always been the type of person to say just because to something , guess im used to it
:( really, i would be sitting him down and asking him to explain himself.
i would be telling him how upset i was over it, how the idea of being engaged to him made me so happy and its just been torn out from underneath me and that "just because" wasnt good enough to make me feel good about the delay. i wouldnt want to ruin a surprise if thats what he had plan but "just because" really sucks as a reason and its hurtful
oh tried all that ..he's pretty stubborn and i tend to give into other ppls choices even if it makes me unhappy .oh well!! Im used to the bad luck on anything..
great now I'm emoing !!!
hint hint... you can always tie him to the bed and slap him until he tells you :)
or maybe thats just me...... much more fun than emo'ing :)
Nah!!!!!!!!!wont work for him he might like it (*wink wink ) and then id just end up the same way in another hour.
I literally give up this shouldnt be so complicated
should be as simple or maybe im being naive and completely wrong!!
well spoke to him one last time and he said that i should just not worry june will be here in no time .now i am sooo confused
oh and then a tickle war started ...stupid ticklish body :(
he is either trying to throw you off or he needs more time. How long have you been together? Is it reasonable he needs a bit more time? Not being ready for an official proposal might be ok, but obviously only you can say when you think the time has passed for him to be ready....
((HUGS)) he may be trying to upgrade your ring or completely throw you off "just because" he wanted to see you sweat (MEN!)
Either he's tricking you or he's not ready. And if he's not ready you shouldn't push it and force him to propose if he's not ready
That being said, you shouldn't just give in if he won't have a real talk with you about it! Have you told him your concerns? You should have a real discussion over this. If you have a tendency to just cave, this will become an issue down the road and you don't want to get walked all over. That "just because" line is awful; i hate when people say that. IMO, it usually means someobdy is up to something though! But if you were crying over it, that's a pretty cruel thing for him to do.
Even if you know him as well as you do, guys do weird stuff that isn't true to their personalities when they're trying to propose. Considering you guys went as far as to "Schedule a month" to propose which leaves zero romance to it, this is probably his last ditch effort to throw you off so that you can be suprised and get the engagement he feels you deserve... the surprise part is big to the guys and they'll do stuff way out of character to get it, so just stop talking about the proposal to him at all and you may just get a big surprise in a couple months. *hint* the more you talk about it and hint at it, the more he'll think you're expecting it and the longer it will take him to propose.
Well I started out thinking that this was really unfortunate, but after that comment, "June will be here in no time", I kind of think he is trying to throw you off. Maybe he'll propose at the Christmas party...
Also, I've never heard of couple setting a date to propose. So perhaps that's another reason why he could be throwing you off.
We had a set date to propose so it's not really that unusual. It is pretty common in military couples dealing with deployments (such as was our case) and ends up being a mutual decision with a proposal. Not overly romantic in that suprise, gushy kind of way, but such is life for some.
Is there a particular reason you guys chose november to get engaged? BTW, I totally knew DH was going to propose (duh, he only had 14 days of R&R) but it was still really wonderful =]. it just wasn't this big ole surprise.
I would talk to him about it. You do not and I repeat do not want to feel indifferent about it. I got well beyond indifferance and when he proposed I didn't feel a thing. I was neutral not one emotion. Even now I just don't care and the ring is nothing more than a piece of jewelery to me. I am usually a very sentimental person but I reached indifferance and that is where I apparently am staying - I can't even fake emotion about it. After the proposal I didn't even care to call and tell anyone. I feel indifferance toward the ring involves indifferance and resentmet toward the guy as well so don't allow yourself to go there.
Talk to him about it.
@life ((HUGS)) that's why i stopped thinking about the proposal. i send him pix of rings, but more of an upgrade for my right hand ring or an oh my gosh blue diamonds are pretty... i am very indifferent about the entire thing as well if it happens woohoo if it doesn't happen by 2011 then time to move on.
my then bf told me we could start looking at rings after our labor day trip, and then proposed in july! it's possible it's a fake out.
if the reason is that he's not ready, then don't push. i know it's hard but this is one of those things you just need to be patient with :-S
If he's not giving you a reasonable answer it may be just ;that he is trying to throw you off. I would do anythign you can to distract yourself from thinking about it because you'll spoil the surprise!
It will be wonderful when it happen, whenever that is. It's hard to be patient!
I think he is trying to throw you off! He is trying to make sure that you are not expecting it because he probably wants it to be a surprise!
To me it sounds like he's doing this to throw you off...or could he be saving up for the ring?
well i spoke to his best friend and he told me that he knows mybf is ready as he has spoken to him about the november plan.he just had a momentary freakout (wth is that even allowed?) well i guess it is i had a momentary freakout from his stuff being moved into my place...
so now i guess i can calm down , i spoke to him again and he said that it will happen by the christmas party but hes not doing it on the 25th and cancelled our trip to montreal 
but on the plus side I asked why not on the 25th, he said " because you mean everything to me and I know how much this means to you and I want to show you that this relationship is what I want and I am ready to make that first step to a life long commitment now"
then I jokingly said - so we are going to get it tomorrow
his answer was sure then after 5 minutes he said you know im joking we r not gettign it tomorrow and you are certainly not going withme when I do because i already know which 2 you want
YAY!!!!!So his momentary freakout led to an earlier engagement date argggggggggggggg but that means longer to keep it from my friends until the announcement december 12th, though i am allowed to tell my parents immediately and we both chose a friend we will confide in until the party .
omg omg omg 
now it all seems worth the annoyance and tears last night
thanks bees for listening . hopefully not too long before i graduate from waiting bee to planning bee
Males confuse me and they say we are confusing .ughhhh
and for my birthday in 2 weeks he wants me to choose a necklace i want that i can wear everyday .oooooooooooooooooo, lots of shiney things for me this year hehehe
ohhhhhhhhhh i love jewelry!!! how exciting!! maybe this is his plan spoil you with sparkly things leading up to the proposal!
I'll be honest - maybe it's because I'm not there yet but I don't quite understand the idea of agreeing on a time to get engaged. Is it a money thing? Maybe he needs the extra time to save for the ring he'd like to get you? That would make sense at least.
Baring that I can't think of any particular reason to delay. Or to make a specific appointment.
Anyway, my advice to you would be to talk to him. You can't force him, but you should at least be open about your feeling. I would at least want to understand where this arbitrary seeming date came from.
I think he may be doing it to throw you off. But I do hope everything works out.
haha. gotta love the sparklies! glad it's working out for you!
The ring has landed!!! I repeat the RING HAS LANDED!!!!!
okay , guess details are needed ( stop the excited he didint give it to me yet , but he bought it yay)
we were moving his final stuff over today and he grabbed one bag and said he will put away the contents, i started arguing because iw anted to know what was in ti and where he planned to put them.He held he and said for once just trust him so i said ok,he took the bag to the bedroom and he didint close the door properly so i peeked, I just had to im a very nosey person hehehe, anyway so he takes out random junk , socks blah blah blah......then he takes out a little box and i was not too excited because i started thinking maybe its my birthday present (earrings/necklace)since it is like 2 weeks away and we r doing a party here figured he got it in advance to save time...anyway he starts smiling and opens the box and wouldnt u know it, not earrings , not a necklace but a shineyyyyyyyyyyyyy diamond .OMG!!!!!!!
I am beyond excited , but i walked away and didnt say anything didnt even let him know I peeked hehehe, so now i get to go crazy until he gives it to me ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
I know some bees on here had to wait for the ring over 3 months while it was in the house with them..i hope not that long ..I want ittttttttttttttttttttt, oh and my overworking brain started thinking wait a minute he doesnt have my birthday present then, what is that is it???If it isnt I wouldnt be completely upset since i know he was planning closer to christmas but omg omg omg .....ok going to bed to dream hehehe
How exciting! You are forbidden to mention it to him anymore he wants to be romantic and surprise him so let him lol I amso happy for you!
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