Weddingbee boards

She just got back from visiting my grandma and grandpa.

My grandma did not recognize her at all.  My bil is btw a surgeon.  She didn't recognize him and she's known him since he was 10 years old.

My grandpa has lost quite a bit of weight (he's also very thin to begin with.  My grandma is unable to get out of bed now.  She's 88 and he's 90.  They've been married 70 years now.

My bil and sister, both crying after leaving, called me immediately as Jeff gave his opinion.  He said "she doesn't have much time left".  He was sobbing.

I am sobbing too and talking to my sis while I'm typing right now kinda in shock but I knew they had some considerable issues going on.

I got my hopes up when my grandpa's kidney issues suddenly got a tad better (went from stage 5 to 4 renal failure).  Now it's all gone. 

My grandmother has had recent hospitalizations and they were unsure why she'd been recently having blackout spells.  CT's and other scans done showed she is suffering from dementia and this week they finished tests.  Alzheimer's.

She isn't eating again.  She was in the hospital for a while back before the blackouts b/c she wasn't eating.  They have a home health nurse at their home 12 hours a day now.

I was just not ready for this call.  Last time I got a call like this from my bil was when my dad was in cardiac arrest and he called me in the middle of the night saying "You'd better get to the hospital now" while crying then.  My dad died an hour later so if he says somebody doesn't have much time left then they don't have much time left.

He said it wouldn't be immediate but maybe 2 or 3 months at most.  I'm on call this weekend at the damn hospital and I cannot leave to go to her side.  I am so sad and I am not free to do what I want to do and go to her.  My sis and I are just crushed.  So is bil.  I haven't told T yet.  My son is sobbing in the other room and there's  nothing I can do except pray with him and just hug him.  He asked if grandma is in pain.  I said no.

This is so damn hard letting go 2 of the closest people in the world.  I lost my dad 10 years ago and my mom honestly is a flake and been mentally a teenager since he passed away so I felt like I lost my parents 10 years ago.  She's not close to me.  But my grandparents?  ALWAYS super close to me.  Always.

They bought me my first car.  They helped out when my sis and I were both going to private school and my dad was working 2 jobs and they are always just "there". All my life they were and are there.

Please if you can, send out a prayer for my grandma.  I don't know what to do without her. 

Thanks.  I'm logging off for the night.  I have to call my sis and bil back.

I'm sorry for your loss.

My grandparents were who we spent weekends with.  We begged to stay wtih them and practically lived at their home during the summers and always vacationed with.  I only saw less of them when I moved away from home and to ATL.  Right now I'm feeling very sad that I'm so far away from my family.

thank you so much GGSB.  That means so much.  And TEssa, your words are wonderful..full of love.  And Million, thank you for the kindness and introspection.

I'm going to go get off now and talk to my son and call them back after I put him in bed.  He's still crying right now (son).  That's first.  Then I'll call them back.

I'm leaving not this weekend (on call and cannot change weekends) but going to see them the next weekend.  I'm going to get off a half day on friday and take son out of school 1/2 day. 

They've basically been my parents for the last 10 years and I wanted to "be" there and give them so much more.  So much more to them. 

Hugs back at everybody and to Mrssl82b.  My grandma was just like that too.  So sorry for your pain and loss .  Mamabear and StacyMarie, hugs to you too and sorry your loved one is going thru this.

She has something that's really scary though.  She's been having these spells where she just blacks out and has had a history of stroke.  We've had her on meds for the last decade preventing them, but my bil thinks these are just mini strokes and that the meds just are not working and I agree w/him.

She didn't recognize my sister yesterday.  It sent my sister into such a tailspin and she cried all night last night.  She also cannot get out of bed now and is a sack of bones (this is a new development as just 2 days ago she was up walking around,.  She isn't eating either.

I cannot get up there until next weekend.  I am worried what will happen in the interim.  Very very scared.  

Thanks so much everybody.

Oh Teeleaf..I want to hug you too.  I am sorry that is also happening but you are so blessed to have her near.  I will use your suggestion to talk about the good times and will bring pics to help her remember things. 

Gotta run.  Making meatballs for pasta for my son.

T is flying home from a business trip and we'll see each other tomorrow night.  He said he's ready to go home with me to see my family whenever we need to.  He's so sweet.  Just really sweet.  He is also perfectly ok with us going home from now until the end about once a month over a weekend.

It's not a short haul.  Five hours.  Six if you count a stop for gas or eating and running.  I just wish I were closer.    

We're doing ok and they are doing as well as they can.

i can't go home this weekend.  JFO a few min ago.  My boss' wife has to have surgery on friday and one of my coworkers had asked off a week before me but boss forgot about it and ok'd me leaving friday, but we can't operate if 3 are out.  They're saying any other friday I can have but now I have to re-coordinate it with my sis and sometimes they go outta town on saturdays (just for the day) to ole miss games as they have season tix.  We always stay w/them when we come in town but I guess we could get a hotel room or 2 (we usually stay in separate rooms) if we went next weekend.  I want to get there soon.

I am really sad about this and just was venting about 2 min ago w/T on a brief call.  Please keep them in your prayers if you will.  

Just had to say that post was last week and we've luckily been and have had time to process everything that's happened and grandma seems to be ok for the moment but still not doing well at all.

We're ok this week.  We just take things one day at a time.  :)  That's all we can do.  I wrote that last week btw.