Post # 1
I am 21 and my fiancee is in the air force… since our engagement back in march we have talked about a mid august 2013 wedding. Now he wants to get married THIS august. He is stationed in Louisiana and I am still living at home in Delaware. He wants me to move to Louisiana with him…and i am totally okay with the idea…but my dad is VERY religious and it is important to him for me to be married before i move in with my fiancee…hence the RUSH now…
Truth is it is stressing me out terribly and making me seccond guess this MAJOR decision. I feel like I am rushing into things. I love him to death and definitely DO want to marry him…I have just always dreamed of a HUGE fancy well planned out wedding… not a thrown together wedding. HE promised we would have a big wedding in a year or two…I am just worried it wont happen.
Has anyone ever had a tiny wedding and then a HUGE wedding later on down the road?! Does that sound like a ridiculous idea?! My mom and MOH are both telling me it is NOT a good idea and I am not going to get my big wedding… I am just stressed to the max and hate being rushed… especially when it comes to the most important event in my LIFE…
So far the plan is a small beach wedding august 27th but i have NO DRESS…NO PHOTOGRAPHER…NO CAKE…NO GUEST LIST..NO SAVE THE DATES…
sorry to vent i am just beyond stressed…
Post # 3
@zebra060708: i’m sorry your stressed! and sometimes the big wedding doesn’t happen if you do what you’re talking about. life gets in the way, and pushes it back. just make it a PRIORITY to have the wedding i.e.: start planning the big shebang right after you move in with him after the civil ceremony. things will work out for you as long as you MAKE them. 🙂 good luck!
Post # 4
I, too, wanted a huge fancy wedding- but I’ve since come to the realization that if I was to have a huge wedding, I’d be inviting people that I haven’t seen/talked to in more than 6 month or tons of people that I feel “obligated” to invite. I began planning my wedding 5 days ago, and my wedding is set for Aug. 12 of this year! It feels like I’m rushing, but I’m getting a lot done and have little time to second guess myself. It can be done! If you truly want that big fancy wedding, then wait. Listen to your intuition. Good Luck!
Post # 5
I imagine you wouldnt get your big dream wedding if you have a smaller one now…other things come up…buying a house, children, etc.
I think if you hold off on marrying him now PURELY because of a party…then…well that seems shallow. IMO the pageantry shouldnt be the sole reason for holding off on marrying the man you will promise to love and cherish for the rest of your life.
Post # 6
i think if i do my little one but KEEP planning the big one i have been planning then i will get MAKE SURE that it happens =)
sorry ladies i was just having a ROUGH night!!
Post # 7
i feel like if its something thats important to you, then you’ll make it happen! and it seems like it is very important to you which i can definitly understand! things might change after you have your small wedding and you might decide that you dont want a big wedding anymore! but, i wouldnt let it stress you out, just take everything one step at a time and focus on your small upcoming wedding for now, and enjoy every minutre of it, and then focus on your big one!
Post # 8
I would recommend having a smaller wedding now, and then maybe having a larger vow renewal in 2013 when you originally planned? That way you can do both 🙂
Post # 9
Honestly? I would wait.
You can move to Delaware & get your own place (which, in all honesty, your dad should pay for. It’s his issue). You can have a LDR. You can tell your dad that you’re an adult and are going to be moving in with your FI as an engaged couple whether he likes it or not.
I know it sucks to wait, but why the huge rush all of a sudden from your FI? Just seems odd to me, thats all.
Post # 10
That’s definatly stressful! Yes you can have a small wedding now, and a larger wedding later, OR do what my cousin did and have the ceremony (small with only very close family), then have a big reception next year. As wonderful as it would be, in reality (and I think it’s setting in with all us August brides) that August is just a few weeks away and there’s A LOT to do if you were planning both the same day from scratch. If I were you, I’d have the ceremony then way for the reception, it would be easiest and you two will be married 🙂
Post # 11
You mentioned he was in the Air Force, does he live on base? You’d have to be married to move in with him if he does. If that’s case, I would consider getting married now and doing the vow renewal at a later date. If he lives off base, move in with him when you want to (even if it’s now) and wait to get married until you’re able to have the wedding you want. If you’re ready to get married you should be able to make your own decisions on where you live. Your parents no longer have a say.