Post # 1
Hey wow where to start… been engaged 2 1/2 years and NOW we finally have things coming together and can do this. And since I am 30 and have no kids and he is older I need to be married! I want kids and want one ASAP! I cannot wait til 2015 so this HAS to be done in 2014. SO we always planne don doing an October wedding. NOw we are ok to budget around to see if earlier is cheaper. Looks like tis not. We found most places are booked of rnext October. The place we have been in love with for 2 years has 2 dates available for us in October! I should be thrilled! Oct 3 or 10. The 10th is his moms birthday (she’s not ito bdays but would feel like we are taking away from her) and at the same time my closest cousin and bridesmaid (possibly Maid of Honor) is in TWO weddings that weekend! So now all we have is the 3rd.
Here’s where I need advice… I know it will be mixed. My Uncle who I am close to and is one of my FAV people in the world celebrates a holiday that day and fasts. My mom says we can’t do it (and she is helping a BIT with the wedding). His dog is being put down this week and is all he has and is devestated so I can’t even talk to him about this right now since it would feel selfish. But I’ve always dreamed of an October wedding. It’s the only date we can do. We can’t afford September prices. We could take AUgust but I really want October and plus AUgust means even LESS time and possibly even more $ (again- can’t afford then). I feel like our back is up against a wall right now. I can’t imagine that after being engaged 2 1/2 years I would be trapped into this. I’m a HUGE stressball. My Uncle knows how we have been struggling. We have been together 11 years by the way and want to make this happen already. There is an awesome feature about this place that we can only do until the 2nd week in October also which is half the reason we are booking. So basically… what would you do? He can take all of the food home to enjoy but wouldn’t be able to enjoy it at our wedding with us and I feel bad. But if we don’t do October we may be screwed. Is this even okay to do I mean it is OUR day and it is only ONE day.
Oh! And apparently my brain is so fried over this right now, I almost burnt my kitchen down. Totally forgot I was roasting peppers in the oven .. ugh..
Post # 3
@StarIzInkd: Dang that is a toughie. I think you should talk to your Uncle and do it the 3rd. When we set our date we basically had to remember that if we wait until the perfect day that EVERYONE is available we would never be able to get married.
Post # 4
@StarIzInkd: No matter what, you won’t make everyone happy. Pick the people you will work around and select a date. What about the first weekend in November? That may be an option?
Post # 5
@StarIzInkd: I agree with the PP – talk to your uncle, and have it on the 3rd. I don’t know exactly the type of fast you’re talking about, but most of them just require you to forego certain types of food, like meat or grains, so perhaps you could ensure that there will be food and drink items he can eat, and remember to let him observe anything else necessary so that he can both celebrate your wedding and observe his fast.
Trust me, if you try and find a date that works for everyone, you’ll never get married. I’m facing a similar dilemma, actually.
Post # 6
Assuming your uncle is Jewish, 10/3 is yom kippur. His fast would end on the evening of 10/4. But other than that, why would that prevent him from going to your wedding? However, that really shouldn’t affect your wedding timeline. You’ve been engaged for so long, you should pick the date that works best for YOU. I think it’s sweet you’re being considerate but at the end of the day what matters more – you getting married or making sure your uncle is happy at one family member’s wedding?
Post # 7
I say book it! He’ll understand.
Post # 8
YOu guys had me feeling so much better about this. My bridesmaids all felt the same way you guys did and so did my FH. Everyone but my parents. Well I called my Uncle today. Told him we set our date and got everything we want and then brought up that mom told me its the holiday he celebrates and that we will take care of him and have plates of food for him to take home and enjoy the next day… wellllll he doesn’t JUST fast… he doesn’t go out/or drive/ or anything. So he says he doesn’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do and so it’s not as simple as just book it. I would be very sad ifhe wasn’t at my wedding… he’s one of the few people that I absolutely HAVE to have at my weddingplus my mom would never forgive me and I just can’t handle all that so…. plan B.
Now I need a plan B :/ We don’t even have a back up venue. There was nothing in our price range that we liked. I’m off to find a plan B. I wish venues were open right now at midnight so I could start calling.
Thank you all for your advice though. It really did help me at the moment.