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I am freaking out and could really use some advice and perspective. Is buyer's remorse normal when it comes to wedding dresses? Is this a huge sign that I made a mistake??
This is what happened...I've been trying on dresses for months -- I think I've gone dress shopping at least 10 times. I was very set on an alencon lace, mermaid type dress, and that's pretty much all that I tried on. These dresses were all gorgeous and I liked how I looked in them, but they never felt *right*. Last week, I randomly picked a dress off the rack that was completely different -- all silk, no lace, even had a ribbon/bow (Melissa Sweet). I tried it on and I LOVED it...it just felt so me, and I could really see myself in it on my wedding day, if that makes sense. I didn't want to take it off, and I think I tried it back on three times that same appointment! The next day, I went to a different store to try on the dress I thought I really wanted (alencon, mermaid Jim Hjelm), as well as a few other lacey dresses, and realized that I didn't want it at all compared to the Melissa Sweet. I could not get the Melissa Sweet dress out of my head!
So yesterday I went back and bought the Melissa Sweet. Luckily for me, I was able to get the sample so I saved about $2000 and spent much less than I had originally budgeted for my dress. But I've been really stressed about the dress for some reason! I keep on wondering if there is something else out there better for me, if I made the right decision, if my dress looks too prom-y, etc. I don't really get why I'm feeling this way when I was so in love with the dress and I love how it looks on me. It's really worrying me, and I feel a bit stupid for feeling like this! Has anyone ever felt this way? What should I do?
I think it's normal to feel this way! You've had in your head what you want to be THE dress, and the one that IS isn't what you thought it would be! The fact that you "felt like you" and could see yourself in it on your wedding day and didn't want to take it off...THAT is what makes it the right dress for you! Give it a little time to sink in.
And post a picture so we can all ooh and ahh 
oh am i ever in the same boat as you right now. i had a full on mental break down and tears flooding the place infront of my fiance last week! and the poor guy i couldnt even tell him what was wrong because i dont want him to know anything about my gown.
the dress i have purchased is actually a grad dress, there is a wedding gown version. i thought for years that i wanted a gown with no train, partially now because of the location of the wedding. but thinking about it, watching say yes to the dress, has made me regret my choice of not getting the wedding dress version which has a chapel train. the other issue is that i wanted my gown to not have bead work on the top and i even asked the ladies helping me if this was possible. later i found out that if i had ordered the wedding gown verion i could have ordered it without the beading! and saved! UGH!!!!! if i had know that i would have gone with the wedding dress version probably instantly.
currently i am in talks with the store i got the dress from, and thank goodness they have been so helpful! they have sent a request out for an estimate on the wedding gown without beading. they are willing for me to exchange but i will loose 20% of what i paid, and the rest of my money will go towards the new gown.
i am going to go back to the store with my mom and compare the two versions to make a final decision. fun fun fun!
I could have written this post! I actually haven't purchased my dress yet (I wanted to lose a little more weight first). BUT, I was originally looking at all strapless A line dresses with beading on the train and beading on the bodice. I had my eye on a Ream Acra dress (the store was going out of business so I could have gotten a great deal). Then I randomly tried on a Lazaro dress with a beautiful beaded bodice, beaded straps, a very full A-line skirt and zero beading on the train. And my Mom started crying and my friend was saying, "this is it, this is it". And I did feel beautiful, but it took me a bit to warm up to it (since it wasn't what I was originally looking for. When the sales girl put on a very embellished veil, I though "I'm getting married in this dress". But now I'm worried the skirt is too full, and that I really like it because my Mom and friend were so in love with the dress.
I think I'm going to go dress shopping again, and see if I still love it.
I really understand where you are coming from. If you had that strong of a reaction the first time, then I think you bought the right dress. Sometimes it just takes a while to wrap your mind around the idea that you changed your original concept for your wedding.
Your feelings are totally normal and I definitely think that you made the right decision. It is clear that this is the right gown for you because you have shopped around and it sounds like nothing else has compared to your gown. Plus, you felt that it was the one and felt like yourself...I think that will definitely show on your wedding day! :)
Totally normal.
Try not to obsess over it too much or you'll drive yourself nuts. Fo' realz.
me too... but i think i'm going to buy the dress this saturday...haha. i just can't bear to do any more dress shopping. i'm all shopped out. i actually started dreading going to my last one because i hate being fitted, standing there, and knowing that the dress i'm wearing is 5 sizes too big and won't look the same on me in my size. so i'm just going to be done with it! i'm pretty sure i love(d) it??? well at least, i loved it when i posted that i was going to buy it a month ago. i don't know if my feelings have changed. but whatever! i'm done with shopping!
It seems to me that you found "THE ONE!" I originally wanted an all lace Jim Hjelm dress too (I had all the pictures ripped from mags to show the bridal consultant) and when I tried them on I didn't like it so much. I thought I was going to get an all lace dress but I ended up with an all satin, no lace, no beading Jim Hjelm instead. It's not at all what I thought I was gonna wear! So it's normal to change your mind or over think the dress! But, I think you'll always go back to your Melissa Sweet dress! Besides you got a great deal, who can argue with that!
Note to self: Don't try on anymore dresses!!
Thank you so much, everyone!! It's nice to know that I'm not alone and that others have felt this way too! I'm still a little stressed but I think I'm going to just sit on it for a week or so and then see how I feel. I feel like there's just so much pressure to find the "PERFECT" dress...and it's so different from what I had always imagined my wedding dress to look like!
Texasmeredith, good luck! You still have options and time, I'm sure you will find the perfect dress for you.
Anvil chick, good luck! It sounds like the store is trying to accommodate you and help you out, so that's good.
My dress is the Melissa Sweet Katya -- it looks so plain and baggy on the model, but it looks completely different on. I'm also having it altered so that it's more of a flowy trumpet.
Oops forgot to attach a picture.
katya.jpg (39.9 KB, 85 downloads) 2 years old
Sorry, I'm totally blowing up this post -- what do you guys think of the bow? I'm going to have it made into a detachable bow. I love the little girly detail it adds but I'm not sure if it's TOO girly/too much bow?
I LOVE the dress.
It's stunning.
And not too girlie at all.
If anything, I'd say it's JUST girlie enough.
Geez.
I LOVE it.
I don't think I've seen that many dresses period that I like as well as I like that one.
now I have dress remorse. lol.
I absolutely LOVE the bow - and I'm not much of a bow girl, so that says alot! haha! Its just enough girl without being too girly (if you catch my drift). The gown is so beautiful!
BEAUTIFUL!!! I like the bow, but am also a fan of the large brooch...maybe that would be something to consider?
It's beautiful - looks like a keeper to me :-)
keeeep it!!! That is suck a BEAUTIFUL DRESS and the bow is just the right proportion for the sweatheart neckline and ruffle bottom!!
amazing dress. I love the frill at the bottom. I would keep the bow or at least have something there.
I love the dress too, and I agree with everyone else that it's normal to feel buyer's remorse. I'm having some of that right now, partly because it's REALLY been hard to find a bra for it, but also because I keep seeing dresses that I think I might like even more.
I love your dress! Definitely keep the bow, it looks great! And I really like the bottom.
That dress is beautiful... don't stress about it anymore. Just remember how great you felt when you were wearing it ^_^
Melissa Sweet has the most beautiful dresses. You are very lucky to have one!
I agree, a Melissa Sweet dress would be my DREAM. They are so well-made, couture, and absolutely stunning. Your dress is no exception--I can see how, fit to your body, it would look gorgeous, with just enough sweetness with the bow. Keep it and love it my darling!
aww, keep the dress and don't feel any remorse at all - it's gorgeous!!
It's beautiful! I love the bow, and the hem at the bottom! You're going to look stunning.
That dress is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Seriously, I second whoever said they've never seen one they liked that much. I am seriously in love. The hem is absolutely stunning. If it felt like you, I say stop worrying about it and enjoy that you found *the* dress! It's normal to second guess, but you knew it was the one when you put it on! Remember that feeling whenever you start to second guess yourself!
So pretty! I'm a bit biased, but I looooove Melissa Sweet dresses -- and am jealous to hear you got one for a steal of a deal!
I tried on Katya and totally fell in love with her (but not her pricetag, haha)! It's definitely a *dream dress* of mine, so of course I think you should keep it! I wasn't a big fan of the bow either, so the consultant actually said they could easily remove it and I could replace it with a pretty flowery piece. She put it up against the dress, and it was fabulous. :)
p.s. Doesn't the dress have straps? Or does it come in a strapless version as well?
I don't comment often but I just wanted to tell you that your dress is gorgeous!!! My personal opinion is that you can never go wrong with Melissa Sweet (I'm wearing the Fern for my wedding next year!). Her dresses (ALL OF THEM!) are stunning in every way.
I think most girls feel this way, especially when we have preconceived notions about what it is that we want. I had the same problem until I reminded myself that just because I like something doesn't mean that I cant like or even love something completely different. I had to remind myself this on several occasions.
If you love your dress and it looks good on you, I think that's great!
Your dress is beautiful!
This dress is beautiful! I actually think that the bow looks pretty, it really compliments the detail at the bottom.
Aw, I felt the same way for a bit. But I kept thinking about how great mine looked on me... it really is the one, even if i did want a VERY different one! Just focus on that... and seriously, that dress is gorgeous.
Thank you SO much everyone! It's really nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way, and you've all been so sweet and kind about the dress. I'm starting to feel better about it -- I still wonder sometimes if there's something else out there, but I am NOT going to look! I think it's hard for me to get as excited about it because the dress hasn't been altered or cleaned and it's not yet in the trumpet shape that I want/had at the dress shop when the saleswoman pinned it for me. I'll post a picture of the me in the dress as soon as I get one!
Sorry, one last question about the dress!! Do you guys think this would look ok with a cathedral veil, or would it look too busy or mismatched and compete with the hem? Do you think a shorter veil, like shoulder-length, would be better?
I vote birdcage! I've seen some fabulous ones on a blog called Twigs and Honey.
But in case that's not your style, I think a cathedral length would be absolutely fine, but a very simple one.
This dress is so gorgeous! Would you consider selling it after your wedding? I am searching frantically for one. My wedding is June 26th, 2010. Thanks
It's cute! You're going to look beautiful! Now you can focus your attention to the other details of your wedding. :)
I love it! And I think if you were able to feel like it was the dress while you were wearing it then go for it! Also, I bought my dress yesterday, and now I must make myself stop looking at other dresses.. it's hard, but I don't wanna fall in love with something else!
The dress is beautiful and I agree, I think you have found "the one" - One of my married friends only gave me one piece of advice when planning a wedding. When you find the dress you love, STOP LOOKING :) ~ I have even stopped watching Say Yes to the Dress!
oh thank god !!! im not the only one ?!?!?! i feel like im gonna go crazy... i was lookin for a mermaid dress... had my heart set on that style and when i tried some on, it just didnt feel right... a dress on a mannequin caught my moms eye so to make her happy i tried it on.. (it was a strapless, Aline dress, top is ruched, its a low waist, and in ivory with lttle ruffles in the hip and at the bottom... please tell me why i was mad at myself for likin it more than i had expected. . i was tryin so hard not to like it... i tried on a few more dresses and nothin.. i went back to the strapless. oh man. i was hit hard with this. my mom loved it, my sis loved it and my friend loved it... i ended up gettin it. i pick it up at the end of march.. but for some reason im gettin pre-dress jitters lol someone please tell me im crazy ... lol
Im going to guess that many brides go thru it, and im sure my mind is just messing with me cuz i second guess everything lol.. grrrrrr
I love your dress,
I went thru the same exact thing. I love mine again.. There is a reason I bought it.
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