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Go ahead and invite them (both). Four years is a long time, even off again, on again :o) I mean, you have to figure, even if they were "off" for the MAJORITY of four years, their time together probably adds up to more than six months "on"! And sure, you can't really say whether they will be together by the time your wedding rolls around, however, you don't know that they WON'T be together either, and one can hope they'll RSVP appropriately. I think they'll both feel slighted if they are together when they get the invite and she isn't invited. So if you go that route, know that you risk your guy friend not coming either.
I would put her name on the invite. If she sees it and it says "and guest" you might make them break up again! LOL I wouldn't send her a separate invite though, because if they're broken up there is no reason for her to be there.
Provided you're friends with him and not so much with her (that's what your post implies, at least), I would only put his name on the invitation and tell him that he can bring a guest. If it ends up being her, that's great, if not, he can choose someone else to bring. It's not that she's not invited to the wedding, but it gives him the choice of inviting her, rather than you saying that she's automatically invited.
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We have a friend like too. I called him and told him he was welcome to bring a guest, and asked if he had a particular guest whose name he wanted included on the invitation. He said to put her name, so I guess now it's his dilemma - if they're not together, he'll have to come by himself or hide the envelope from whoever else he invites!
I agree with pp. Call said friend and ask how he would like his invite addressed to.
All good points, because then if they have broken up, and he doesn't bring anyone else, it'll be cheaper for us! Haha. Thanks for all the great tips!! I just have to get my fiance to call this guy, or at least get her last name from someone! Haha. Especially since he's already talked to her about the wedding, hence the "I'm coming to your wedding!" comment. Thank you ladies!
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How timely! We have a friend who also has a somewhat rocky relationship. When we drafted the list initially, they were off, so she didn't make the cut. Now they're back on and we had to make room for some unexpected family friends (we're glad they're coming, but we weren't counting on them to actually show). In any case, we had to gently explain to her that we're at our max for the venue, which we are, and we won't know about any open spots on the guest list until the RSVPs start coming back. Thankfully, she's been very cool about the whole thing and completely understands, given the timing of events.
For your situation, suzanno, one again, has some great advice!
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Hey ladies,
One of my fiance's friend's has a girlfriend. They are always fighting and have been on-again, off-again for like 4 years. We have met her once very briefly (without him) and she made a comment, like "Oh! You're so and so, I'm coming to your wedding!" My fiance and his friends all feel we should invite this guy "and guest" because who knows what could happen with them. I kind of feel that we should put her name on the invite, but obviously nobody expects them to be together then. So what should I do? Thanks!!