(Closed) On Gifting

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 4
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I am highly encouraging people to go off registry for me. I would much rather have something that someone thoughtfully chose for me considering my tastes and style than something I picked out and said “here buy me this”.

However we have a lot of family coming who don’t really know us all that personally, so we did regsiter to throw them a bone. But I didn’t really want to.

Post # 6
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I had a difficult time with this…because I’m not a registry person.  I didn’t enjoy the experience of registring and I had a lot of miscommunication with my inlaws about the entire thing.  

I got very lovely off-registry gifts (quilt, artwork, etc) and was completely pleased to recieve them… but you definitely start second-guessing yourself. At my inlaw shower, all my gifts were “off-registry”.  Some of them were very similiar to what was on my registry…but weren’t the same brands or even the same colour. It just took more work from me to manage my registries so that people who were going to buy from the registry didn’t purchase repeat gifts.  I had only one awkward experience, but was able to fix it without the “giver” knowing what was going on.

I found the entire think to be anxiety inducing.  lol  There was judgement about everything from the brand to the cost of items (we definitely had a spread of pricepoints, but…yeah).  There were some passive agressive comments about the “fanciness” of my china, crystal, bedding.   

Registring is difficult because, in many ways, you are saying “these are the things that I see as being essential/nice to have for the kind of life that I want to live at home”.  My inlaws are not formal china people, so for me to register for that was kind of weird and commented on.  I considered it normal because of my upbringing.  It sometimes made me feel like they were judging ME and not my china, you know?  

Post # 7
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree wholeheartedly.  My partner and I were terrified that people would go off registry.  We had to transport anything that wasn’t shipped to the store, plus we have zero storage space left! 

Having had the wedding – 1) give cash 2) give something off the registry and personalize it 3) ONLY, ONLY go off script if you know the person super well and are super confident that they will like, use and appreciate the gift.

My favourite – get something from the registry and then add a personal touch.  ie – a selection of teas with the teapot; a cookbook or some gourmet condiments with a place setting; bubble bath with towels; kitchen gadgets and some nice foods to go with them…. etc etc. 

Post # 8
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Problem is, people are not really good at buying gifts. You dont know someones style, taste,etc. Thats y they made registries. To make it easier to decide what to get the couple.With the weddings Ive been to, there is no way I could have figured out what a couple needs or wants. I always use their registry. It makes it a whole lot easier!

I hope no one buys (off) registry. We registered for you(our guests) to know what we would like or want.To make it easier for you. Its hard to get excited about something that is so not us. Like if someone bought us wine glasses. We didnt register for them but if we got them what would we do with them???? We dont drink wine or need those fancy glasses.

I think those people who bought off registries are the ones who never even looked at the registry.

Im guilty of doing this once for a baby shower. I bought whatever and never looked at the registry not once. I dont know y I did that, but I wish I would have used their registry.

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