(Closed) Two of my BM's didn't get me a shower gift..is that weird?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

BMs pay SO much to be part of weddings that many can’t afford a gift – especially for both the shower and the wedding. A card would suffice.

Post # 4
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I personally don’t expect a gift from any of my bridesmaids. The time, effort, and money they shell out just to be apart of a wedding is enough. They shouldn’t have to spend more money on gifts to top it off.

Post # 5
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I had my bridesmaids doing so much for me, shower, and stuff for wedding, plus they paid their own hair, makeup, and dress. I did not expect a gift from them. They’ve done enough and appreciated that more….so I wouldnt’ be upset if they didn’t give a gift.

Post # 7
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Nope, not rude at all.

Post # 8
Hostess
23639 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

No, not at all.  It’s not a problem!

Post # 10
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think they threw you a shower… so no card needed…

Post # 11
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Honestly, the last time I was a BM I spent so much on the shower, that I just couldn’t even afford a gift from the registry. I gave the bride a bottle of our favorite cheap champagne from college and a card to at least make the gesture. I don’t think she expected a big gift with all of the time and money that we put into the shower, either.

Post # 12
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t sweat it.  Yes, it would have been nice of them to at least get you a card, but maybe they thought that might point out even more that there was no gift to go with it. 

Don’t sweat it on getting them a gift though.  A gift is just that – you got what you felt you could afford/wanted to get them and they did the same. 

For my shower my SIL/MOH got us a muffin pan and cheese slicer.  His company ended up paying for their flights, they stayed with my parents, and I bought her dress and shoes.  They’re freaking about about affording a child (she’s pregnant) so I was happy to get whatever they chose (Grandma threw the shower – she just showed up). 

Post # 13
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Gifts (and cards) are never required.  You didn’t specify if the bridesmaids helped host the shower, but if they did, the shower itself is a gift.  Even if they didn’t, perhaps they simply couldn’t afford gifts.  Totally their call.

Post # 14
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

My BMs didn’t throw or even help with my shower.  My sister (MOH) got a $50 gift card, which was awesome.  My BM (FI’s cousin) got us a cake cutting knife and the pen set for the guest book, which was also great.  Other BM (FI’s sister) got us nothing.  She didn’t come to the shower.   She didn’t come to any of my three showers, as a matter of fact.  If she’d just shown up to the shower, gift or not, I’d have been happy. 

I think that if they pay for the shower, and/or expensive dress, they shouldn’t have to get a gift.  But, FMIL bought FCIL and FSIL’s dresses and they didn’t pitch in with the shower at all.  Financially, or otherwise.

Post # 15
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Showers are expensive……maybe they couldn’t afford a gift on top of it.

Post # 16
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think, as the hostesses, they are not expected to give even a card to the guest of honor.

The topic ‘Two of my BM's didn't get me a shower gift..is that weird?’ is closed to new replies.

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