Post # 1
My fiance’s cousin is pregnant and their baby will be 6 months old at the time of our wedding. We’re having a day time wedding and have already said that kids are welcome. This couple has now asked that we find an on-site babysitter – as in they can hang out with their baby but pass him/her off when they want. Our wedding is in a large room in the back of an antique mall, and there is not really a room available where a sitter could hang out with the baby. I said the best options are to get a babysitter to stay with their baby at the hotel (I would help find a sitter), or to just have the baby at the reception. The parents/ grandparents/ great-grandparents/2 aunts, etc… will all be there and I’m sure that between them all they could take care of the baby. There is space to walk around the mall if the baby gets fussy. My FMIL suggested that I get one of my silbings’s friends to come to the wedding and be a babysitter, but I really don’t feel like that’s appropriate. I don’t want to invite someone to the wedding just to make them work. Am I being unreasonable?
Post # 3
Are you kidding me? They had the nerve to ASK YOU to hire a babysitter just for them? No you are not being unreasonable at all. If they need a babysitter that badly, they should just hire one to stay home with the baby.
Post # 4
I agree with smart. Asking for a sitter is just plain rude. If Baby’s extended family will be there anyway, they should have nothing to worry about. The last wedding I went to had an infant, he was passed around uncle to uncle, aunt to aunt. Everyone wanted to hold him. I was already planning on having a teenager or two hang out with the kids and have a play area (one of those play house tents with some toys and goody bags) set up in the corner of our reception hall.
Post # 5
Yup, RUDE. It would have been different if you offered, but for her to ASK! Does she intend on paying this person? I mean COME ON! Sounds like she just wants to have the baby around to show off how cute she/he is and then to pass it off and go have fun… babies aren’t an accessory, they are a responsibility! GEEEZ!
Post # 6
Thanks for the support. They are willing to pay for someone to be around, I’m just not sure where they could go. I think I’ll just tell them that we’re going to set up an extra table out of the way for kids (there will be a few toddlers at the party as well). Unfortunately, there aren’t any teenagers at the party, but there are quite a few relatives who I’m sure can take turns entertaining the kids. As my grandfather always said ‘ the kids table is where the action is!’
Post # 7
After much debate, we decided to invite the children on my side of the family (my FI has no kids on his side). My little girl cousins (7 & 5) are going to be bridesmaids and another little girl cousin (9) is going to be my ringbearer. I have a few other cousins who will be invited but are not in the wedding party. I am going to make it WELL KNOWN to my aunts and uncles that there will be a babysitting room on property (we are getting married at a resort) available with movies and pizza during the reception should any melt-downs occur. My sister’s best friend and her BF are nursing students who have volunteered their services for the night of my wedding to babysit any kids. So if you can find someone who is connected to you/your family but maybe not close enough who you would willingly invite, he/she would be a good candidate to ask to be a child-watcher at the wedding. And don’t think of it as rude to ask someone to do this: they aren’t "working" they are "lifesavers contributing to the sanity, happiness and enjoyment of your wedding day."
Inviting small children to weddings is risky: you already know they aren’t going to behave perfectly all day. And don’t get me wrong…I agree: It is RUDE RUDE for the couple to ask you for a babysitter but it behooves you to have a back-up plan for restless babies/toddlers just so you and your guests can enjoy your wedding. Whether that is an actual person to babysit or a "kids corner" with coloring books, crayons, makers, QUIET toys, that back-up plan is up to you. Make your plans known to the couples with kids and stress diplomatically that you want everyone to enjoy your wedding day, the kids & adult guests alike. =)
Post # 8
The real problem is that its not a kid; its a baby. The country club where we are having our reception has a room that they set up with toys and a TV and videos, and they have one of their teenage staff available to supervise young kids in that room. But you can’t put a baby in that type of room, because the teenager can’t watch all the actual kids and the baby too. And you don’t have the luxury of a separate room. I would let them know the limitations of your venue, and give them the names and phone numbers of some local people who could babysit at the hotel, and let them work it out. Maybe they can arrange to bring the baby for a while, and then take it back to a sitter at the hotel. But those kind of logistics shouldn’t be your problem.
Actually I see I am just sort of assuming that they will travel to your wedding. If they are traveling, I think you need to help them find someone local to babysit, to the extent of providing names and phone numbers. If they are local, they should leave the baby at their house with a sitter if they don’t want to look after it themselves through the reception. Wow, if they are local they are really, really being rude.
Post # 9
we had an onsite babysitter at our wedding for someone’s 6 month old child. She sat at the vendor table with the baby in it’s carriage and he slept the whole time. You could look up on-site babysitting services in your area and see if that is an option.