Post # 1
I would love to do something like Lemons and have the lines and food choices individually on the RSVP, in fact it seems that it might be the only way that it will work for a reception with assigned seating and 2 meal choices.
However, and forgive me if I’ve asked this before, aside from my normal loopiness the holidays have done me in, I am worried that people will just add others on, family or friends that are not invited – to come with.
Example #1, my cousin who has 3 children, 12, and twins that are 16 will more then likley add on the twins’ gf and bf. I’ve met these "significant others" and adore them, but I can’t afford to add people on. However if I tell her that she can’t bring them with then the cousins may not come with because they refuse to leave the side of the "other" – you know first love and I’ll die with out you and all that crap….lol.
Example #2 – I have a very good friend of the family whom I’ve known forever. She lives at home with her paretns right now and the invite would be addressed to the parents and her – that’s it. Etiquitte states only those listed on the invite are invited. However upon being spoken to by a mutual friend, and memeber of my wedding party – this friend said she was planning to bring her bf though he wasn’t invited. Back to the, can’t afford it stuff. Her and her parents are the ones I want there because I know them and they have been a big part of my life. And I’ve checked out this guys myspace page, read his tattoos, and talked to our mutual friend who knows him and he’s a biggot, has no issue tossing around racial slurs and is all about the white supremecy stuff. Frankly he makes me want to vomit at the thought of him. My sister is mixed and I will not put her in the position to hear this crap at the age of 6 because my friend has to bring this freak show of a bf.
Now I’m not going through all my guests and weeding out their bf’s and such saying they can’t come for this reason or that – it’s just mainly with these 2 situations that I’m running into issues.
I guess I’m looking for an easy out, and I don’t think that there is one. I know in the end I’ll end up having to call people and telling them they can not bring people OR fork out the cash for dinner. Confrontation is in my future isn’t it???
Well sorry for taking 3 minutes out of your day you’ll never get back. At least if no one responds I feel better writing it out…hahah
Post # 3
Those are sticky situations.
For example #1, when I was 16 I didn’t expect my boyfriend to also be invited to a wedding unless he was a really good friend of the family. Therefore, they should understand if you just tell them that for occupation reasons they can’t bring them. Maybe they can meet up with them after the wedding.
For example #2 – how old is this girl and how long have they been dating? If they have been dating for a while (longer than 4-6 month) I don’t think there is anything you can do but invite him or not invite her….
For last resort you can always do the _ out of _ seats have been reserved and fill in the last #.
Post # 4
Can you make a hard and fast rule like "No GF/BF unless they are engaged or living together?" (Or would that *still* include the Jerk from #2?) That’s what we did. (We ended up having to make a few exceptions, but it was all in the name of keeping the peace.)
Anyway, with a rule like that, it would be pretty clear that no one’s getting singled out, and that you had to draw the line somewhere or face bankruptcy. I think it’s pretty unreasonable for a 16 year old (and their parents) to expect that they can bring a date. We didn’t even invite anyone under the age of 21 (another rule).
We also did the "we have reserved X seat(s) for you" at the top, and then at the bottom had the choices of "accepts"/"declines" (for the single invites) and "both accept"/"accepts" (for one person only coming)/"both decline" for the couples. Helped to make it clear who and how many were invited.
Post # 5
I did the same thing as Miss Lemon on my RSVP cards. I had 4 entree choices which was each represented as a cute little icon. I had 4 lines (so people can enter up to 4 people per RSVP card). I was also a little bit worried about guests misinterpreting that as being able to invite up to 4 people but everyone (I invited 400 people) was good about filling out only the names of people who were invited. So in the end, like Miss Lemon, it worked out very well (I didn’t have to comfront anyone). I got a lot of compliments on the icons, too. I think it will work out for you, better than you expect. good luck!
Post # 6
- Wedding: May 2008 - Dunegrass Golf Club
I’m using something like Lemon’s RSVP cards also, and I also worry about the same thing.. ALL the time, especially because we’re on a very tight budget. Soooo I hear you. When I asked my parents, "what if so-and-so thinks that they can just bring so-and-so?" my dad responded, "then they have no tact and know nothing" — haha, OBVIOUSLY a bit harsh and I don’t necessarily agree (some people just don’t know the etiquette), but honestly… if they don’t know, you need to tell them, and don’t feel badly about turning people away.
But what we’re going to do is… since we’re printing our own invitations, I’m going to have a different number of lines on each depending on how many people are invited by that invitation. If the family has 5 members that are invited, we’ll have 5 lines for each person to write in their name and meal choice. If it’s only one person, we’ll only have one line.
Also, the ____ of _____ works well for this too.
Post # 7
I think that we’ll be doing what you are as well – I just don’t think that there’s any other way then to do an individual RSVP card per invite.
Thank you – and tell your dad he gets a high five from me! Thats awesome and so something I would say!
Post # 8
Yach – can you email a template of your RSVP card or post it in the template section? My email is [email protected]
Does anyone have a copy of Mrs. Lemon’s template? Mrs. Lemon should have a giant template section for all of her fabulous ideas.
Post # 9
I like the _ of _ seats idea… (erika426 & bubblegum)
We split the guests up into his family, my family, and our friends. His mom called the over RSVPers from his family and eliminated some of the overage that way, my mom paid for the extra RSVPers from my family, and we expected all of our friends to bring dates (and were surprised when a large handful of them RSVPed solo).
You may end up having to have a little talk with a few of your guests when the RSVPs roll in (or have someone do it for you) afterall the wedding budget is what it is. Ask your venue how many extra meals they prepare, I think ours is 2% or 3% – That may take care of the sweet 16 dates (I have no help for the racist date, but you should probably just be firm with your friend, and tell her you can’t afford it)
Don’t be surprised when you don’t receive 10 or more of your RSVPs at all… you end up having to call those people too – It’s all part of the game of wedding planning