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I was reading OMG Mom and I found her birth stories.
While reading through all of these I found THIS post on how her "Big girl areas" had changed after having a baby.
Pretty sure I just scared myself shitless. Remind me why I thought it was a good idea to read birth stories years before I am actually ready for a baby? I may have just scared myself out of having a baby. Kidding... I think.
My question for all of the mommies out there is, how similar was your experience in birthing a child? Did you need all of the products that she used also? This birth stuff is scary but yet I can't look away when I start reading stories like these. I HAVE to know the details! Tell me the real TMI stories of what it's like.
P.S. Even though her posts are TMI sometimes I cannot help but die laughing reading anything on OMG Mom.
@MsBrooklynA: I LOVE HER!! seriously she is the funniest person sometimes.
and my hoohaa is the same. and sometimes I think she is just a wee bit more dramatic than the average human being. God Love her :)
I love Mrs. Dumpling! Her posts crack me up. :) But, honestly, my experience wasn't like this at all. I didn't have an episiotomy, and I hardly tore at all (I had a couple first degree tears the doctor sewed shut with one stitch). After my epidural wore off completely (like 2 hours after birth), I was up walking around, taking myself to the bathroom without any trouble, etc... I didn't even take any painkillers (although they were offerred). I felt great! Ummmm, my bowel movements were also not monitored/recorded. How humiliating that must've been for Mrs. Dumpling! The nurse gave me a stool softener and told me I should have a bowel movement within a couple of days. That was it.
As far as products go, I definitely agree with stealing a package each of the hospital mesh panties and giant pads. I only wore them for maybe a day after getting out of the hospital, but it was a little more convenient to just throw stuff out when it got blood on it than to change my underwear five times a day. I think that my the third day postpartum, though, my bleeding really reduced, and I was wearing normal underwear/pads again. I never used the peri bottle or the Tucks pads or the Dermoplast or the painkillers (althought I got all of those free from the hospital). I had a little discomfort from the stiches for the first two weeks post-partum, but then it went away and everything was back to normal. Not that I can see it, but everything seems fine down there.
Something else, after birth I felt way better than I had the entire time I was pregnant. I had more energy and I was finally able to sleep and move around without carrying a 20 pound bowling ball in my stomach. :) Maybe my experience was the exception, but it was a relief to finally have that child out of me, lol! I would totally do birth again any day if I could skip the whole pregnancy thing.
@missfireslayer: She is just a wee bit dramatic but that is why she's so dang funny! So you didn't really have any difficulties with the underwear or the hemorrhoid cream or any of those other scary things? haha
@Mrs. Spring: Was going to the bathroom painful for the first couple of days? What do the tucks and dermoplast do? What are the peri bottles for? Did you have an epidural? Was it a similar sensation as she described?
Also, were you ladies as exhausted as she was and slightly overwhelmed by the amount of company, like she sort of implied?
You're not the only one!!! It's reassuring to hear these other posts, since I have read many birth stories (online and from friends of friends) that talk about how awful your big girl parts are in the days and weeks after giving birth. To be perfectly honest, I am more worried about that than I am labor.
@MsBrooklynA: I know okay can I just tell you it is so wrong of me but one of my favorites is when she accidentally got drunk right before Mia was born?!
Nope I had absolutely no problems, I had a TINY tear and that was stitched and that was really my only problem. I just used the witch hazel pads in the bathroom. and I wore the underwear just while in the hospital. and I got a stool softener but really it was nothing NEAR her experience haha. I too was taking myself to the bathroom and even showered that night so it really wasn't a big deal for me :) I also had my daughter naturally! and the thing I remember being the worst was the stitches part!
@missfireslayer: Oh goodness the one where she gets drunk. I still cannot believe no one told her about it! And then she like passes out in the car. It's hilarious now but probably really scary when it happened.
I'm just afraid it will be my luck to need an episiotomy and be wearing a diaper for the next 4 months or something horrifying. I also enjoy the episode where Kourtney Kardashian decides that she wants to have ANOTHER baby but it still hurts to have sex with Scott and she's like it feels like I'm jamming a metal rod up there. Oh the horrors of having a child.
I should not be allowed to read up on baby births.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That is so freaking hilarious!!
Oh yeah, and totally true. I would recount my experience here, but I have PTSD. And I also already recounted it here:
Ummm ... birthed 4 babies and didn't have half of those issues.
First off, I didn't have any episiotomies and I did natural. I did perineal massage for months before birth and DH was massaging my perineal when I was in labour, so it really helped as I didn't require any stitches.
As for Tucks pads. I had them but didn't have bad issues w/that, anyway.
No squirt bottle used here. Just regular TP. Again, no stitches, so no need. I wore my own underwear and used those Poise pads and not the diaper-like ones she used.
By week 6, after I got the OK from my Dr., my lady bits were back to normal and we were sexing it up again! And, unlike the Kardashian girl, it didn't hurt.
As for being tired, I was far more tired when I was pregnant than after birth!
One piece of advice? Do NOT look at your lady bits after you have your baby. That will scare the bejeezus out of you!!!!
@MightySapphire: That link sends me to the boards :( I remember reading your and Mrs. Spring's stories but if you could fix the link I think a reminder would be good. PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
@BanditGirl:Is that why every time you try to set a date you end up with a new baby ;) I'm hoping that OMG Mom was the minority and that it is not always seriosly painful.
My experience was actually really close to hers, with the exception of nurse having to be there when you went to the bathroom. All of that was my responsibility, though I did have to let them know the first time I went. I'll just say I had complications afterwards. There was a container that you had to go to the bathroom in, and I had to alert the nurse.
I didn't have an episiotomy, but I did tear, and that was painful for a long while. My hospital actually told me that I could take everything but the linens. I just hate that I forgot the squirt bottle. If they offer an inflatable doughnut, take it. It's wonderful those first few weeks when it hurts to sit. Walking around was uncomfortable for a long time too.
Also, I had an epidural, and it was so difficult for me to pick anything heavy up for weeks afterwards, even my baby. I still have issues sometimes.
The upside was that I had my own private room with tv and food paid for completely. It made it a lot less awkward to walk around.
@Mrs. Spring: I agree with your statement. I was relieved to have her out of me. The last few weeks of pregnancy, Yuuki had her foot stuck in my ribs. After I delivered, the pain went away immediately, and it was so much better. I didn't have a lot of energy, but it was great to be able to sleep the way I wanted again.
@MsBrooklynA: lol!!!! Could be!!! ;0) It's probably why DH just said "We're doing this today" and did the quickie wedding -- because he didn't want to wind up with yet another baby. However, he was wrong because we had that honeymoon baby!! I guess that was better than continually discussing it and continually having kids! lol!
@Superstitions: How long were you in pain from the works?
I saw on OMG Mom that you should request a private room or find a hospital where they only have private rooms. What are your experiances with your insurance with this? Did you guys look at multiple hospitals or just go with the closest one?
@BanditGirl:haha I've read that before that you guys just went and did it ASAP. How funny! Are you planning another wedding or you just enjoy the company around here?
urm, let's just say I had an 8.5 lb baby and pushed for only 20 mins...probably should've taken my time more...I won't scare you, though :P Seriously, though, I wish I had been more educated before his birth, but I'm only 3 months out, so we'll see how I feel in another couple of months (not that I'm in pain now or anything, but I'm still in the oh. my. god....my body did THAT...phase)
@MsBrooklynA: Hmm...the link is working for me. Weird. Maybe try on a different browser?
And PTSD=Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, yes. Jokingly.
My lady bits were dark purple and swollen. Jenny McCarthy was right, blue twinkies. And I had a third degree tear that went halfway up my lady bits. And the doctor put some extra stitches in there. So hotdog down a hallway? No sir. I was actually tighter after I healed. But I also have a huge scar.
I definitely used the squirt bottle and the dermoplast. And the Tuck's pads, right up until those suckers HURT. I was in so much pain I was CRYING. So don't listen to the nurses. DO NOT LEAVE THEM ON THE PAD AND WHERE THEM. Pat down with them, that's it. The dermoplast, BTW, didn't really do crap for me. The vicodin on the other hand, was great. I also purchased a sitz bath. I had a really bad tear and I couldn't sit in a bathtub because of it, so a sitz bath was really nice and provided a lot of relief. I never got the dreaded hemorrhoids, but I don't know what would be worse: the tearing or dingleberries.
ETA: It's been six months and I'm seriously not over it yet. I love MB, but...I don't know that I want to go through that again. That was really traumatic. Labor was actually EASY for me compared to the recovery.
Bahhhh! @MightySapphire: Thanks for being so honest. It's nice to know those hallway jokes aren't true. Unless maybe your Michelle Dugger. ;) So the Durmoplast do? Is it meant to numb the area?
@cannotwait: Thanks for not trying to scare me but I think I may have scared myself! haha People don't talk about these things unless you are talking to anonymous strangers on the internet so it is nice to know what REALLY goes on but hard to anticipate what will happen with you because everyone is different.
The post is actually really really similar to my experience, yes, right up to the monitoring of bowel movements.
I tore pretty badly, and had to do a sitz bath 3x a day for 4weeks to prevent infection. Super lame.
ETA: I was in the *lucky* small percentage of women who experience more than perenium tearing--in addition to that my labia minor tore in such a way that it was basically "unstitchable" and to get it "corrected" I would have to look into plastic surgery. For serious. Lesson? Do not have babies.
Not an experience I am ready to repeat, even after 4.5years.
My daughter is 13 years old and OMGmom pretty much nailed it. Honestly...the week or so after giving birth was worse than actual labor to me b/c at least I knew that the labor pains would be over once the baby was out...LOL. I had an episiotomy and I wasn't given any spray to numb anything. I did get a prescription for pain meds but who is really going to take pain meds that make you loopy when you have a newborn? I had to pee and poop before I could go home and it HURT LIKE HELL. I totally cleaned out my room too and would definitely say do that...especially the bulb syringe for baby's nose b/c the ones they sell in the store just aren't the same.
@MsBrooklynA: I don't remember an exact timeline, but it was at least a few weeks. I remember going out when Yuuki was about 3 days old, and it was so painful to walk. It was good for me, because the walking helped, but at the same time, I didn't want to get up again.
As for the private room, we just went to a nearby hospital, actually the second closest. We didn't have insurance when I got pregnant. I went to a Women's Care Center first (they're free) to get it confirmed, and they arranged for my first real appointment at a hospital, where they helped me apply for Medicaid. My insurance only covered anything pregnancy related though, which was all I needed.
I'm glad we went with the hospital we did though, because the majority of the nurses and mid-wives there were the nicest people, and I liked my doctor, though he wasn't there when I delivered.
Here are the details as I recall them:
I VAGUELY remember feeling like my insides and possibly the biggest alien ever was going to tear out of my vagina after my water broke and labor was progressing nicely.
I VAGUELY remember nestling my head into the nurses big 'ol boobies when she said "sit on the edge of the bed, put your arms around my neck, and relax" as the anesthesiologit was giving me the epidural.
I VAGUELY remember that the smell of the Big Macs that someone was eating in the vicinity of my room was the most horrific smell ever...at the time!
I DO remember the following:
-having to constantly pee right after my water broke, going to the bathroom, and NOTHING came out! I took the advice of a friend and just sat indian style on the bed and let out whatever (pee or baby fluids..who knows?) on the disposable pad thingies that my darling mother would change every so often.
-I had instant life-long love for the anesthesiogist as soon as he stuck that needle in my back.
-I slept for 2 hours immediately following said epidural and had to be woke up and told when to push.
-I did rip, did not feel it, and when I asked my lovely ob/gyn how many stitches she was doing, her response was "well...we don't count them like stitches, its more like hemming a pair of pants" No more questions asked by me on this subject.
-My instant "emptiness" as soon as I delivered and love at first sight with my son.
-Laying on the slab in delivery thinking "that wasn't so bad" as they were weighing the love of my life.
-I did not poo on the table nor did I get hemmorrhoids (SCORE!)
-OH! The best part? The nurses station had a snow cone machine!
The end result is this: Is it all peaches and cream? Nope. But I think you forget most of that stuff...otherwise, why would people have more than one baby?
Lastly, I loved the squirt bottle and also asked for a butt donut (which took all day to get, so I guess it's not a common request). I sweetly begged for and took home the big 'ol pads, mesh panties, diapers, and formula. And I may have also taken the cloth underpad from my hospital bed to prevent leakage at home...I plead the 5th.
They did not monitor my bowel movements, but did check my booty every 4hours for signs of hemmorrhoids, which was a tad irritating. They sent me home with iron pills and stool softener...I didn't poo for 3 days AFTER I got home and frankly, I was scared to death. I grabbed a magazine, took my time, and all was well!
Sorry for the long post...and apparently, I can't spell ANESTHESIOLOGIST! lol
Wow.... This thread is kind of scaring the crap out of me. No joke.
On another note, Mrs. Dumpling has to be one of my favorite bloggers ever. She cracks me up. Im not a mom, but I still read OMGMom.
Ditto @zippylef - I LOVE her blog. FI and I are nowhere near having kids though!
@zippylef: Agreed!
@srearley: It sounds like modesty is not necessarily your first thought while having a baby. True?
Did anyone buy their own hospital gown? If so did you feel like that covered more and you weren't exposing your lady bits to everyone as often?
@MsBrooklynA: Girl, I work at the hospital and float over to women's care quite often. Trust me most of these women are NOT concerned about being covered. I mean people don't just walk around balls out but ya know what I am saying? I do suggest a robe though :)
@missfireslayer: I think there will be a rule that unless you want to remember what my placenta looks like your not allowed to visit until baby is OUT!!! This whole bleacher birth concept is NOT for this girl. Maybe I will invent a sweet hospital robe that his pull down pockets for breast feeding. Make millions :)
@MsBrooklynA: you should seriously consider that, I just told DH that and he goes EXCELLENT haha
and DH is still scarred by the placenta lol
um i am laughing and scared shitless all at the same time right now! how did i never know these things happen when you give birth!?!?!?! wtf....
OMG!!!! I have the worst baby urges so bad lately and right now I can't financially afford children. I was about to go on here and ask how to get rid of those urges. THIS THREAD will definitely do it. Yikes!!
@yrret107: This thread has literally had me LOL'ing. Just remind yourself about those possible hemorrhoids and you might stifle those urges for awhile. ;)
I'm typically pretty shy about my body, but with so many people staring at your hooha all day and poking and prodding, you don't even care anymore. When the nurses were trying to get my son to "latch on" to breast feed, they just grabbed my boob and tried to stick him right on it. The nurses are also the ones to put the panties and ginormous pad on you immediately after birth because your all drugged up. Yup, no modesty after that.
I didn't buy my own gown, but the one the hospital gave me in had holes for your boobs to poke thru to breast feed. Problem! There is no way to hold the holes shut! My baby daddy (yes, I said it) had some friends come visit and they all got boob shots. Fantastic!
I guess I had a perfect birth. lol I didn't rip, didn't need stitches, had a drug free birth (and I was in labor for 48 hours) and pushing was not that bad. As soon as she was born, I didn't even remember the labor pains.
And post birth? I didn't have time to worry about myself. My daughter was flown to another hospital and I checked myself out the hospital I was in 4 hours after birth to drive to another state in the middle of the night. I stayed with her for a week in a tiny room in a twin size bed.
After I got home, I was kind of worn out but that's it. I continued my keagles and when I met my ex and slept with him the first time he blurted "holy shit, you are tighter than women I know without kids!" Not the best choice of words when I'm bent over but I laughed. lol
Wow....this thread is great birth control! Im thanking everything that Aunt Flow is in town!!!!
@srearley: LOL I asked the anesthesiologist to marry me! NO joke! I didn't end up doing natrual birth BUT just for the record my va-jay-jay is the same but my boobs....theres no hope. They're HUGE, floppy and annoying. When I lay on my back, the race to my arm pits. =( I'm only 21 and I already miss my "youth" boobies.
haha ok I HAVE A PSA FOR EVERYONE! lol. So I didn't click on the link when I saw this post last night and this morning I thought hm... maybe I'll go check out this blog. So I just assumed it was omgmom.com. IT IS NOT. That is a porn-type site. I was like WHAT are these girls linking to?!?! haha. omgmom.com does not = omgmom.blogspot.com!! :)
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