Once you announce, can anyone talk about anything else?!

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m 11 weeks and we told parents around 8 weeks. My FIL texts me probably every other day asking when we can tell other family members. Seriously guy, the answer is the same as it was 2 days ago. I know he’s just excited and means well, but I know what you mean. I just reply back with the same answer and vent to DH when I get off the phone. Good luck!!

Post # 4
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Hey at least they haven’t told anyone else……

My FSIL told me 3 weeks ago she was pregnant but she didn’t want to tell my FPIL until she went to her first appointment. She told them that day and made sure they knew she didn’t want anyone else to know until she was past the 3 month mark….. yeah, EVERYONE knew by the end of the day. My FMIL can’t keep her mouth shut, no matter what your wishes may be. Her excuse “sorry I can’t keep big secrets quiet”. What???????

Don’t worry my dear, you’ll get used to the questions…. and congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How are you feeling? **wink**

Post # 6
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

MrsPiggles:  wow, that’s just incredible! Id be so upset!

 

my mum used to tell me everyday: I saw aunt x today. But I didn’t say anything! Not even anything implying it. 

 

Well yeah yeah that was the whole point of me asking not to tell anyone, doesn’t really matter whether it would have been implicitly or explicitly. 

 

my my mil would always call the baby “our baby” (not as in my dh’s and mine but as in hers as well). That used to drive me crazy. 

But I guess in the end it’s all just signs if their excitement, so try to see it as sth positive. 

 

What kept my mum from telling anybody before the three months mark was that she knew we weren’t going to tell her about a future pregnancy early on. Hehe we’re not yet sure we’re going to have another baby but it did the trick 😉

 

Post # 7
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

AnonymousCupcake:  It’s gonna get sooo worst lol my MIL use to text me like 100 times a day until I was like alright enough is enough lol. We told everyone at 12 weeks and on Christmas day they knew they were all gonna find out the gender LORD did my phone get blown up like can’t you just wait until I get there. Good luck! lol

Oh and CONGRATS!!!!!

Post # 8
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

AnonymousCupcake:  I won’t go into any obnoxious comments or suggestions after we announced becuase I am actually in a good mood today, and I don’t want to ruin it, lol, but I feel for ya, and it doesn’t get easier when you announce to everyone. I was glad we announced how we did with this first one, but if and when we have another one, we both agreed we will be keeping it a secret as long as we can from both parents and everyone else.

I think talking about pregnancy on WB and researching Google makes it even worse. At least for me. I get all my baby talk out here and what not, but its still the main topic for everyone. I suppose though its the easiest way to come into a conversation.

I recommend keeping names secret. I think that is one of the huge areas that has kept us sane, lol. We did tell the gender, and people are always asking what we are naming our son, but its way easier to say that we are keeping it a secret than to tell everyone and have the opinions floating around. When we thought it was a girl I accidentally let it slip what name we liked and my mom said, “Eww” so that shut down any urge to tell her a name going forward.

Congrats and enjoy the pregnancy as long as you can. I’m at week 38 and totally ready to be done, and to have all my coworkers ask me every day how junior is baking gets annoying fast and it is hard to muster up a smile sometimes. So smile as long as you can 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

The questions and comments can get annoying. I try to remind myself that everyone is just excited..but it gets to be too much… I mean, I love talking about my pregnancy, but the same questions every day is tiresom.

I’m in my second pregnancy now, and both have had complications. That makes it SO much worse. My mother asks me every day, “how are you feeling???” and if I don’t respond to her messages quick enough, she freaks out and thinks something is wrong.

In my last pregnancy, I had to tell her to stop asking me…it was driving me bonkers.

Post # 10
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

MsquareM:  Well, based on what she just pulled on her daughter, you better believe we are not telling her a thing when my time comes…… she will be finding out with everyone else at the 3 month mark! haha

Post # 11
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I’m 9 weeks tomorrow and besides a co-worker/friend of my husband’s, no one knows that I’m pregnant. We won’t be telling our parents until after my first appointment in a few weeks, when I should be around 11w5d. My general feeling is that if I don’t want everyone to know, I don’t want anyone to know. I remember my mom was dying when my brother told her about their pregnancy around 12 weeks (they didn’t put it on Facebook until 13 weeks). Every day, she was asking him, “Can I call and tell so-and-so?” By the time they ‘formally’ announced to everyone, she’d probably told everyone anyway.

I’m also holding off because I dread becoming the “vessel” for the new grandbaby/niece/nephew instead of a person. Every conversation will become an invasive interrogation about whether or not I’m breastfeeding, if I’m using a pump, which diapers we’ll use, if I’m going to supplement with formula, which room should be the baby’s, what I should do to the room, etc. My husband and I have talked extensively about what we are and aren’t going to share. If I find a question invasive, we’ve decided on, “The doctor and I are talking about that,” before changing the subject. In truth, I have my plans set but have no desire to have someone “help” me (i.e., give unsolicited advice).

I am already waiting for the lengthy e-mail my husband’s sister will send with her “helpful” advice after she finds out about it. When I found out my BROTHER’S wife was expecting, husband’s sister sent me an email of things I should tell my sister-in-law to do (lol!). Needless to say, it was deleted. I’m planning a succinct, “Don’t worry, we have it all covered 🙂 ” email to her to try and shut her up. Otherwise, I know she’ll drive me nuts with near-daily emails. That, or she’ll start pumping out a billion emails a week of her kid. She’s an attention-lover, and the thought of “competition” (this is honestly how her mind works) will send her into overdrive. This is also the very thing that will fuel the advice in a bid to become “top dog mom.”

I agree with the advice of not sharing names. I may eventually slip, but fortunately, ours is a very conventional name…so I think my in-laws would be grateful for that and keep their mouths closed (their other grandchild has…a creative name, we’ll say). But, no intention of sharing names prior to finding out gender.

I also plan to lie about when I’m going to get my scan and find out the gender — I’ll probably say it’s a week later so we aren’t driven nuts about it.

 

Post # 12
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My poor dad was the opposite of the parents that blab – when we told him (at 12wks), we said we weren’t going to say anything on facebook for a while so not to mention it there. But he misunderstood that we only cared about saying it on FB specifically and he didn’t tell ANYONE! At 19wks, he finally piped up and said “Can I please tell people yet?”. Poor guy hadn’t even told any of his friends or neighbors! Bless him!

I think generally if YOU talk about other stuff, your family and friends will follow suit. We’re trying to buy a house right now, so that’s what we talk about mostly and therefore, so do our loved ones when they talk to us. Obviously people still ask how you are, etc, but it hasn’t been that bad for me so far! Plus, I set a rule for myself that for every pregnancy-related Instagram or FB post, I must do two non-pregnancy related posts. Sounds silly, but I think it helps keep me in check haha.

Post # 13
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Yeah, branching out on the Facebook thing: if you don’t want people talking about it a lot, don’t talk a lot about it either. I have a few friends who do nothing but post about their pregnancies near daily, and then they get pissed off that others bring it up often. Well…it’s a feedback loop. They have no idea what else is going on in your life because you’ve dropped talking about it, and talking about the thing you apparently find most relevant (i.e., the pregnancy) is an easy conversation starter.

Some people will just focus on that at the expense of anything and everything else, even if you do limit initiating baby talk — but generally, it’s an effective strategy.

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