I’m 9 weeks tomorrow and besides a co-worker/friend of my husband’s, no one knows that I’m pregnant. We won’t be telling our parents until after my first appointment in a few weeks, when I should be around 11w5d. My general feeling is that if I don’t want everyone to know, I don’t want anyone to know. I remember my mom was dying when my brother told her about their pregnancy around 12 weeks (they didn’t put it on Facebook until 13 weeks). Every day, she was asking him, “Can I call and tell so-and-so?” By the time they ‘formally’ announced to everyone, she’d probably told everyone anyway.
I’m also holding off because I dread becoming the “vessel” for the new grandbaby/niece/nephew instead of a person. Every conversation will become an invasive interrogation about whether or not I’m breastfeeding, if I’m using a pump, which diapers we’ll use, if I’m going to supplement with formula, which room should be the baby’s, what I should do to the room, etc. My husband and I have talked extensively about what we are and aren’t going to share. If I find a question invasive, we’ve decided on, “The doctor and I are talking about that,” before changing the subject. In truth, I have my plans set but have no desire to have someone “help” me (i.e., give unsolicited advice).
I am already waiting for the lengthy e-mail my husband’s sister will send with her “helpful” advice after she finds out about it. When I found out my BROTHER’S wife was expecting, husband’s sister sent me an email of things I should tell my sister-in-law to do (lol!). Needless to say, it was deleted. I’m planning a succinct, “Don’t worry, we have it all covered 🙂 ” email to her to try and shut her up. Otherwise, I know she’ll drive me nuts with near-daily emails. That, or she’ll start pumping out a billion emails a week of her kid. She’s an attention-lover, and the thought of “competition” (this is honestly how her mind works) will send her into overdrive. This is also the very thing that will fuel the advice in a bid to become “top dog mom.”
I agree with the advice of not sharing names. I may eventually slip, but fortunately, ours is a very conventional name…so I think my in-laws would be grateful for that and keep their mouths closed (their other grandchild has…a creative name, we’ll say). But, no intention of sharing names prior to finding out gender.
I also plan to lie about when I’m going to get my scan and find out the gender — I’ll probably say it’s a week later so we aren’t driven nuts about it.