(Closed) One bridesmaid complains about her dress CONSTANTLY…

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would give her the option to opt out.   Some people can really feel uncomfortable in certain colours/materials, and if she’s that type, she may just want out.

Are they already ordered?  I would get her imput on what she wants, and let her know that you care about her opinion, but be firm too.   She may just want an out, or you may need to suggest that it may not be a good fit for her to be in your wedding, just to come as a guest.

Post # 4
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  My friend ran into this at her wedding a few years ago. She asked a friend who had been a friend ever since elementary school. All she did was complain about everything. She complained about the dress, she told the bride that she should just get a gown from Goodwill, that she spent too much money on her gown (she got it on sale at David’s Bridal). She had an opinion about EVERYTHING.

  Is one of your bridesmaids mutual friends with X? Could she talk to her and say, “Hey, I understand that you have some problems with the dress, but I think your comments are starting to get to our friend.” Keep it simple. You could talk to her too, if that’s an option. I know I hate confrontation.

Post # 6
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  You are in a tough spot :-(. I guess I would think about it in this sense. Unfortunately, no matter what, you’re going to feel bad. If you keep her in the wedding party, she’s going to keep making comments and keep making you feel bad. If you ask her to attend as a guest, it could open up a whole other can of worms. Is this a person who you would hang out with after the wedding? Do you plan on continuing a relationship with this person? I think what it’s going to come down to now is thinking about what you want to deal with. I wish I had a better answer, or a more “sunshine and rainbows” answer for you.

Post # 7
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would tell her that I appreciate her opinion, but it is difficult to find a dress that multiple women love. When she agreed to be a bridesmaid, she agreed to wear the dress YOU chose. Tell her at least it’s not the 1980s.

Post # 8
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I really don’t understand the bridesmaid attitude stuff.  i’m so glad i don’t have that  problem because my response would be “YOU CAN TAKE OFF THE DRESS AND BE A GUEST” i mean seriously this is the brides day and if you don’t like the dress color whatever you either deal with it or not be in it. 

my sisters are my BM and are heavy up top…the dress i chose was strapless, I wasn’t thinking when i saw it just fell in love with it, then when i remembered and decided to change the dress they both said no if thats the dress you want may be we can get straps added or something to help with supporting them up top…my MOH just asked if the hem can be let out because she thinks it will be too short on her… i will never understand it

Post # 9
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@LMD84 that made me laugh so hard….I could just see her telling twinklez “now thats the shine Im talkin about!”  Yes there are worse dresses out there to put a BM in. I vote with the other bee on here to let her opt out! But I would talk to her first and really voice your concerns….she may not realize she is doing it…some people are so consumed with negativity that they dont realize they are doing it! You may just need to point it out! (in a positive way of course!)

Post # 10
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you don’t think she will work with you, I would tactfully tell her you don’t think it will work out.   It will be a long year with that, and I tell you, those last few weeks are stressful if you don’t have people who are helping you (attitude included).

Post # 11
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I can sort of see why some BMs might complain… if they have to shell out $$$$ for a dress, it would really suck to hate it. One of my co-workers used to complain all the time how she had to pay $400 for a hot pink floor length gown that she knew she would never wear again. She never said anything to the bride because she wanted to honor the bride’s wishes BUT all she ever did at work was complain and complain about that wedding. =P

As for X, it really sounds like you tried to accomodate her. If her only true complaint is she doesn’t like the color/fabric, and it’s not about cost or something more personal/deep, then I think you just need to pull the “it’s my day” card and go a little bridezilla on her. Tell her “If you were a true friend, you would respect my choice. You can complain all you want to MOH or whoever, but I don’t want to hear it. Part of a bridesmaid’s job is to help the bride REDUCE stress, not add to it.”

Post # 12
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ew.

She needs to accept that its your wedding.  By accepting the position as a bridesmaid, she’s supposed to shell out for the dress and not bitch about it.

I agree with PP, definitely give her the option to opt out.

I’m sorry this is happening to you. 🙁 

Post # 15
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mrsjjohnson2b: I 100% agree. If she isn’t willing to step up to the requirements for a BM (and wearing a dress she doesn’t love is NOT that bad), she can be an honored, loved, and way less annoying guest.

Post # 16
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@twinklez: It’s ultimatum time. If Lil’ Miss Pouty can’t wear a dress of your choosing on your wedding day, Lil’ Miss Pouty can be a guest. No more discussion, no more trying to reason with her, it is she that needs to be mature about this and stop giving you grief. Don’t let this revolve around her any longer.

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