One bridesmaid down… *long post*

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@FutureMrsSarah:  I’m glad things worked out for you and no I would not continue this situation.

I read your other post and you were very very sick. What she said to you was horrible. When my friends have been in need, I was there for them. I took my BFF to all her prenatal appointments AND sat with her 30 hours waiting for her son, my handsome godson, to be born.

Friends support each other.

Post # 4
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@FutureMrsSarah:  I would not have this girl stand up with you as your bridesmaid. Let her know like you said, nicely and politely, and if she asks why, tell her you don’t feel her support.

I’m all for trying to repair friendships if both sides are willing… but it sounds like this girl is not really wanting to repair the friendship. It sounds like she wants to smooth things over (possibly to relieve her guilty conscience for being terrible to you), but do not trust her with your friendship. Let it go. It sounds like you have other close friends who are there for you 100%, and a wonderful future husband. Quality over quantity!

I am so sorry you are struggling with these health issues! Continue to stay strong and surround yourself with those who love and support you.

Post # 5
9 posts

Personally a true friend should have been there from the start (have read about your bad health, I hope you find something that will help) maybe the two of you have grown apart too much to repair the friendship and it will especially be hard to repair after what she has said to you. From what you have said about your other BM, they are the friends you count on always and i appriciate your advise on not picking BM’s early, But have done exactly that and i think i might regret it with one of them, , but my MOH i do not regret.


Best Wishes !

Post # 6
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

No I wouldn’t.  A friend is a two way street otherwise it’s just one person being the doormat.  I’m so glad that you are in recovery and it is a shame this happened to you.   It is times like the one you went thru that define our true friends. 

Post # 9
1834 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@FutureMrsSarah:  I’m sorry you went through that and glad you are recovering! It really is true that you learn who your real friends are during tough times. Some years ago I had a very rough winter – health issues, job loss, and a close friend dying suddenly in the space of a few months. I was so sad… and when I shared my thoughts, a person who called herself one of my best friends told me to “stop being negative, focus on the positive – positivity goes a long way!” and to text her when I was feeling better and up for hanging out and “having some fun”. Turns our she wanted nothing to do with me when I wasn’t my usual happy self.

My real friends came over to check on me, watched me ugly-cry for weeks, and generally scraped the miserable mess that I was off the floor in the next couple of months. I continued that other friendship for some time, even though I did distance myself, but honestly she showed her true colors then and I should have paid attention. We are no longer friends. I don’t need friends who only want to be around for the good times and bail when I’m down and out.

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