- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
I know I’ve posted this in ’emotional’ but I’m not really it just seemed like the best place to post this.
I have first handedly learnt TO NOT PICK YOUR BRIDESMAIDS TOO FAR OUT FROM THE WEDDING. I let the excitement take over me and I had a close friend at the time which was going to be a BM (even considered making her a co-MOH).
Well that friendship pretty much ended last summer, if you have read or what to read: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/support-long-post
It is about the health issue I’ve been going through during the past year, it has been long and drawn out and I’m still going through the same thing and trying to find something that works for me (trying out new treatments and hopefully these will work!).
This ‘friend’ was less than supportive, when I began to realise that I was so sick, instead of being supportive she said things that … well weren’t very nice.
”What do you want me to say?” “It isn’t a big deal, get over it” “I have weight issues and have to deal with them too” (as if it is the same thing ya’know?) “What do you want me to tell you to go and kill yourself?” … anyway that is a little of what I can remember.
Can I just add this was after I listened to countless conversations about guy drama and during all of my circumstance I would just listen and try to support to the best of my ability, so I was upset when I didn’t get the same back, just a “don’t worry, you’ll be fine” would have been more than good enough.
Anyway after this conversation my health did get a lot worse, and we obviously grew apart, I didn’t get bitter or anything and when I’d see her occasionally, I’d say hi. Obviously she was avoided me but to be frank I was kind of avoiding her but tried to be as polite as possible.
Fast forward to last week, in my head she obviously was no longer a bridesmaid but I thought I’d tell her nicely and politely since other friends were asking. So basically she replies with a lovely message to which I very politely and then all of a sudden it seemed like we were back at summer. Essentially she said she was sorry for how she said some things but not what she said (which was pretty bad in my opinion). It is like saying, I’m sorry but I’m not sorry. Which is fine, I’m not looking for an apology, I’ve moved on, I’m looking forward to a great recovery and do not need useless drama in my life!
I’m thankful I dodged a bullet and I wouldn’t want someone who cannot give me a kind word to stand up for me at my wedding, but girls my best advice it don’t pick BMs too soon sometimes close friends become almost strangers by the time the wedding rolls around. I am also so grateful that my other BMs have proven during this time what amazing friends they are!
I have decided not to but would you continue a friendship after this situation? (note this (now) acquintance is about 27 years old i.e not a teen)