Weddingbee boards

I too had a hard time with BM's dresses.  Not because the BM's were being difficulg (thank goodness), but rather I was trying to find something that would look good on all their body types.  Three of my four BM's are tall, thin and a bit flat chested (sorry, not trying to be offensive to anyone) so they looked amazing in the BCBG dress.  Unfortunately my MOH/Sister is shorter and more fullfigured, like me so I felt her pain.  I had all 4 of them try on the dress and my sister really did not look flattering in it.  I felt bad becuase she told me she felt like a whale in it and her boobs would more than likely fall out, BUT if it's what I wanted she'd work it out and wear it.  I was so grateful for her attitude, but I knew it was really going to make her feel not pretty.  So as an alternative, I told her she could go find a style that would make her feel pretty just as long as it went with the color scheme.  She was happy to hear that option and I'm glad I didn't make her wear something she would not like to see herself in when the pictures come back.

If it's an option, perhaps your BM could go for a different style if she's your MOH or some other title.  Personally I don't think you need to change all the girls dresses because one of them really don't like the dress.  While I agree that it's YOUR wedding, at the end of the day, I would want all my girls to feel like they were a part of my special day looking their best.  That is simply my opinion though and at the end of the spectrum, you can't please everyone so if that's your decision, then stick to it and don't let her guilt you into doing something you don't want to.

It's hard being stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I'm sure it'll work out and at the end of the day she's family and you'll be seeing much of her after the wedding so weigh your decisions very carefully.  Best of luck!

My friend had the same exact situation.  Well, at least with the dress.  one of her bm's hated it and made it very clear every time she talked to her.  My friend just ignored it.  When you agree to be a part of someone's wedding, you KNOW you have to wear a BM dress.  Tell her to deal with it.  Too bad.  When you are trying to choose a dress for several girls, there is bound to be someone who is not happy.  But its not about them.  At least she gets to wear black!  Most girls would love that.  Whats funny is my friend and the negative nancy are 2 of my 3 BM's.  They both were difficult trying to find dresses for.  So was my sister, of course.  So rather than picking one (after SEVERAL attempts at trying to choose one they all liked), I told them to each pick a dress, same color and fabric, and now they are all wearing different ones.  ANd everyone is happy.  It was either that or have no bridesmaids - because it took so long their dresses are scheduled to be in 2 WEEKS before the wedding.  Talk about putting things off!  Regardless, its your wedding, and if you chose to put them in a burlap bag, they would have to wear it - thats the agreement you make when you accept a BM position.

I agree, you shouldn't have to change the dressed because of one person.  Having been a bridesmaid three times (four in March,) I understand how frustrating it is to try to make everyone happy.  The truth is, you can't.

Everyone wants to look great on the big day but she needs to realize that it's your day and ultimately, she will have to put her personal opinions aside for the best of everyone's interest.  Just because she thinks she doesn't like the dress, it doesn't mean it doesn't look good on her.

Good luck!

I echo ginabean.  My little sister/BM seems similar to your BM (hates the dress, hates all my wedding ideas).  I think that it was easier that she was family to basically say tough sh*t if you want to stand beside me when I'm married you're wearing this (not to condone bridezilla moments like mine venting on family, but you know what I mean).  It's not the dress, it sounds like it's her and she wouldn't like whatever dress she was wearing.  If she was anything like my little sister, the moment I went bridezilla on her she dropped her princess act and fell in line.

Summer2008 - I take it that this bridesmaid has already tried on the dress? Speaking from the first time I was a bridesmaid, the bride chose a dress I absolutely hated...by looking at it on the web. I tried it on and found it to be a little better, but I still wasn't fond of it at all. It was a cut and color I wouldn't normally wear by no means, but that's part of the price you pay for accepting to be a bridesmaid. On the wedding day, though, I was just so excited for the bride and was wrapped up into making her day special that I didn't really mind wearing the dress. Hopefully your bridesmaid will wear the dress you chose with no more fussing and do her part to make the day about you, not about her.

I've been a bridesmaid 4 times, and I only kind of liked 2 of the dresses. I have never said anything negative about them to the brides. I agree with the bees before, it comes with the territory!! Its your wedding its your day, and you chose the dress! I do agree that sometimes brides can be a little too demanding, ie. everyone must wear their hair in the exact same style (sorry to those of you who do this), but I do not think you are being unreasonable at all. Have a heart to heart with her ASAP. Good luck

She will just have to get over it. It already sounds like you are doing everything you can to make people happy. So it really is *YOUR* wedding! She will live.