Post # 1
Okay, this isn’t exclusively a “secular” post, but I figured this is where my liberal ladies are at. So I’m into academia and also a feminist and was really bummed about changing my name, as I’m currently referred to as “Ms. Doe” at my job and will eventually be “Dr. Doe.”
FI was supportive of me keeping my name but I could tell he was a bit sad, and I wanted to compromise so I decided on “Ms. Doe Jones.” (Keeping mine and adding his without hyphenating, so I could keep my name for academic situations.)
WELL, yesterday we met with our officiant and he dropped the bomb that he wanted to take my name as well, so we’ll both be Mr. & Ms. Doe Jones! I thought that was pretty damn cool because I know he’ll get crap from his non-feminist, traditional friends for taking my name, but he’s doing it anyway.
Love that man.
Post # 3
Wow, awesome!!! It’s the best when the guys are cool about name changes. It sure sounds like your guy is fantastic. I will share my story too! 🙂 Just for fun.
My guy has refused to weigh in, saying that I should do whatever I like best and that it’s not his name. That’s ok, I had decided to take his name and drop mine on my own. BUT THEN…
Our dog got into his gym bag and ate some ibuprofen and we took her to the emergency vet. We put our names in the file, him first and the receptionist said, “Same last name?” I said yes, figuring that if we have to come back sometime, that WOULD be my name… And then watched my fiancé to see his reaction. He smiled the BIGGEST smile, just for a second, and then hid it (trying so hard not to influence my name) but I could still see it. Feels good.
I liked that he wouldn’t comment, and wanted me to have whichever name I wanted.
Post # 4
@Fizzy8: haha, I love that he’s trying so hard to keep it your decision. That’s awesome. 🙂
Post # 5
That’s one of the sweetest and coolest things I’ve ever heard! Congrats, he sounds like a definite keeper!
Post # 6
@bluestockingbride: That’s kind of how we’ve worked it out too. I currently have one surname and he has two without a hyphen. He’s dropping one of his and replacing it with mine and I’m adding the name he keeps to my name. That means we both get to keep part of our own name but also make a new one together, as equals, for our new family. I love it and can’t wait to see my name next to his 🙂 I get a warm, strange-but-amazing feeling when I think of him taking my name on and feel kind of sad that a lot of women never get to experience that.
Post # 8
That’s PHENOMENAL! Congrats!
Post # 9
That’s really awesome. I asked my husband so many times if we could take both names or even make a portmanteau of our names, but he was adamant: he was keeping his and he preferred that I take his. Ultimately, I took his, but in social contexts go by “MaidenName HisLastName.” I just couldn’t be one of these people who completely embraces taking on my husband’s name and identity in all aspects.
Post # 10
Thumbs -effin- up!!!!
Your man is the best!
My officiant actually has the same situation – they both (legally) combined their surnames, which I think is super awesome!
I don’t want to hyphenate… it would be an 17-letter, 8-syllable disaster. Wouldn’t want FI to for the same reason (though it would be sweet of him). 😛
Post # 12
@bluestockingbride: one million points granted! that’s awesome~!
Post # 14
@bluestockingbride: That’s pretty awesome. Back in 1973 my parents did that as well. 🙂 My dad figured he was marrying mom just as much as she was marrying him. My grandfather was totally on board with it, too. Pretty awesome men in our family. 🙂
Post # 15
@bluestockingbride: That’s what my FI is doing too, and you’re right, your FI will get shit for it! Mine has had comments from a lot of people at work (a bunch of sexist assholes imo) and less serious comments from friends too. I have gotten comments too about being too controlling (but me also taking his doesn’t make him controlling?). It’s great that he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks and is doing what’s best for the two of you anyway.
Post # 16
Yay! Good for you & your guy. 😀