- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
So I am trying my hardest to be polite yet honest with one of my BFFs – let’s call her “Jade” – but it’s getting a little difficult. At the same time, I don’t want to come across as condescending or “smug-engaged” so I was hoping you Bees could help me out.
Here is the background:
1. Jade never dated in high school, but immediately after high school, she got into dead-end LTRs with the WRONG guys. One was a former convict who ended up returning to his old ways, and the other was a total commitmentphobe who fake proposed to her and then ended up dumping her after 6 years together.
2. Jade will be turning 30 soon, and she is single. And she hates it b/c out of all of us (three good friends since elementary school), it was always assumed she would have a husband, two kids, dog, house, the whole lot by now. She doesn’t have a house, no stable long-term job (she gets yearly gigs, but nothing long-term at the moment), etc..
3. Jade really wants to meet someone. She wants to get married. However, she continues to pick the wrong guys. She picks party/clubbing-type guys and scares them off by coming on too strong. Then for the guys that truly do want to give her the life she wants, she is all distant and aloof, and they end up disappearing.
4. My other BFF (I hate using this term, but would just like to stress that this is a childhood friend, not a random acquiantance) are always suggesting this guy and that to her. However, she is EXTREMELY critical of the guys’ looks. One guy she says looks too “girlie,” another guy looks like a “playah” (even though she pursues another “playah” type a week later only to get disapointed). Another very cute guy she says is just “Eh.” It’s NOT all about looks! When the hell did my BFF become Shallow Hal?
5. Basically I am just asking if I should continue to just let her continue down this path or if I should be honest and frank with her. I know she has to learn on her own, but she’s not getting closer… And she’ll be 30 this month. :/
Any tips or similar scenarios welcome.