(Closed) one of my possible bridesmaid is a tranny

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think you should tell her the truth. She might be a little hurt by this, but I am sure she has been through it before and won’t hold it against you. I suggest letting her sign your wedding license as a witness to your marriage; that would be an honor for anyone.

Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I would tell her the truth, and let her decide what she is most comfortable with to be in the party and where a suit or to wear a dress and do a reading (if that is possible). She could still give a speech at the dinner too.

 Let her know (as she probably already does) that this is not your viewpoint but you feel the need to listen to your mother for the sake of your sanity as well as your friends sanity.

EDIT: This is under the assumption you have already decided to go with your mother on this. I, personally, would tell my mom its none of her business.

Post # 5
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Ummm… if your friend identifies as a woman I hope you understand it is completely insulting for anyone to tell her to wear men’s clothing. Your mother’s religious views do not give her permission to dictate how others live their lives. For the sake of keeping the peace, maybe no bridal party is the best way to go.

Post # 6
Member
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@KatyElle: <– What she said.

Out of curiosity, does your friend live his/her life as mostly a man or mostly a woman?

Post # 8
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would be honest and let her choose what she is comfortable with. However, I love my mother, she’s my best friend, but I think if you love your friend, this may be battle worth taking on with your mother/ the church. But thats just me…..

Post # 9
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well it is your wedding, I don’t think I could get married with out my best friend up there with me, and if your best friend just happens to be a man dressed as a women, then so be it. You can have whomever you want up there with you. Have to talked to the person marry you about this? Cause the church may have a problem with it, that might make your decision up for you.

Post # 10
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

have you already invited your friend to be a bridesmaid? if so, then I think you should let her wear a dress. it would be terrible to un-invite her or ask her to wear men’s clothing.

have you considered not getting married in a church? maybe your mom would be ok with your friend in a bridesmaid dress as long as it’s not in a church.

but if you have not asked your friend to be a BM yet, then I agree with Katy Elle too — no bridal party to keep the peace.

Post # 11
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@HeatherShane Maybe this is dishonest, not sure- but if she doesnt look like a guy, what business is it of the person marrying them what she is or isnt is. You don’t normally introduce someone as Meet Pat- shes a girl or Meet Erin, hes a boy. If the priest doesnt ask, no one has to say anything. 

Post # 12
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Personally, I’d tell my mother to shove it and let my friend wear whatever she wants!

Post # 13
Member
14503 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

While I think that she should be able to wear whatever she wants it is your wedding and ultimately it is between her and yourself, I am curious as to how the church would react, has the Priest been make aware of this?

Post # 14
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree that it would be insulting to your besty to ask her to wear guy’s clothing, especially if she typically dresses in woman’s clothes. Keep in mind that it’s YOUR day, not your mom’s. You should have the people you’re closest to by your side on one of the biggest days of your life. And it’s YOUR choice who to have standing by you, not any one elses. I understand that you love your mom and want to respect her views, but you also need to respect your friend as well. Asking her to go against what and who she is, is no way to do that. 

Post # 15
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I also hope you realize just how INCREDIBLY insulting it is to call her a “tranny”. 

I’m actually disgusted.

Post # 16
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@bebefly From my understanding and interaction with cross dressers (transvestite is an old term) and transexuals, tranny is not insulting, but ambiguous since it doesnt identify what you are. In addition to the many other categories they could ID with such as drag queens, drag kings etc.

I volunteer at an organization with a lot of them.

The topic ‘one of my possible bridesmaid is a tranny’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors