(Closed) One step forward and several steps back? (vent)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@annasaf83:  Yeah, this doesn’t sound good. I would have to have a serious conversation with him about starting your life as a couple, and if he’s planning on getting his own place, you deserve a more concrete timeline than “I have the ring.” Just my opinion.

Post # 4
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Uh-oh! You definitely need to talk to him. Especially because he has a ring, he needs to think in terms of “us” not “me”. It’s your life too and you need to have a say. 

Post # 6
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee

This is super confusing. He has a ring but he’s talking about getting his own place? You said he tends not to understand when you raise questions about the future? I would try to find a good moment when things are quiet and he seems receptive to listening to you, and I would ask him some very plain and straightforward questions, like the kind that only require “yes” or “no” answers.

Instead of “where do you think this relationship is going?” try: “Do you want us to get married within a year or two?”

“Do you want us to live together at some point?”

“Do you ever see yourself having a family with me?”

If he dodges the questions, gets confused or refuses to answer, then IMHO you have your answer right there. Men are much more simple creatures than we are. They usually do not have trouble articulating what they want in life.

Good luck OP, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. (((hugs))))

 

 

 

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