(Closed) One step forward and two steps back *kind of a rant, sorry!*

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Wow, more power to you, lady!! I’m definitely the jealous type…not even sure I could date someone with kids from another woman, never mind put up with her if she was a crazy bitch! I’m sure I would get arrested for assault or something, lol!!

That said, at least your man is sweet and loving to you when she acts out… He must appreciate how patient you are. I dknt have any advice, just wanted to say you’re inspiring, and your man is lucky to have you! 🙂 Keep your chin up! 

Post # 4
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@soontobesmith87:  You.have.no.idea.  Girl, “baby mama drama” is an UNderstatement for our situation.

He has two kids from a relationship about 10 years ago.  They were engaged for a bit, but when he broke it off she told him she was pregnant with the second child.  He still left.

My BF would never speak ill of ANYONE, even someone like her.  But he has told me some pretty alarming stories. For instance, when the first child was a baby and he took it to see his parents and when he got home she’d locked him out of their house. It was like 25 degrees out and HER kid is locked out with him.  He kept trying to get in the house and then police show up and throw him on the ground because she had called them and told them he had assaulted her….when he’d been over 2 hours away the entire time.  Obviously nothing came of it. That’s just one of many examples of her lunacy.

It doesnt stop there: she texts him maybe once a month either asking for money (he pays child support AND all of their insurance) or something random like “I’ve got one of the boys at the doctors. He has a cold, I need their insurance #. The office is at 1234 Crazy Road, suite 10.” Like giving exact GPS coordinates, hoping he’ll show up.

I should add that he doesnt see his kids at all because dealing with her is just too much. So i havent met her, or them, and while I have my own opinions about him not seeing them, they arent my kids and I choose to stay out of it.  We werent even sure she knew I existed.

Now we are pretty sure she does: last month I was home alone with a broken cell phone when around 10am someone knocks on our door. It took me a second to get up and they knocked again. I got to the door and no one was there, and when I looked out the window a black car was driving off but i figured that could be anyone, not neccessarily who knocked. A little while later, someone was pounding on the door.  I ignored it and they kept right on pounding.  After about 2 minutes they yell “Maintainence!’ but didnt come in.  Now when have you known apartment maintainence not to just walk right in? I walked to the door and threw it open and there was a man (CLEARLY not a maintainence worker, he was in street clothes) holding a scrap of paper with something scribbled on it. I asked him what he wanted and he mumbled something and took off.  Thoroughly wierded out, I decided to go to wal mart for a bit.  I wasnt back home 3 minutes when i heard women talking outside my door. I look out the peep hole and two women i’ve never seen are hovering near my door, saying “is this it? yeah this is his. thats the address.” I threw the door open and they RAN. I chased them down to a BLACK CAR in the parking lot and they flew out of there.

When my bf got home, i told him what happened. He said “was it a blonde gal? did you say a black car? Yeah….that sounds like_________.”

So, if you’re still reading, she had tried knocking that morning, and when she didnt get a response, sent someone that my bf says sounds like her brother to case the place. When he confirmed a girl was there, who we believe to be her and a friend showed up to see for themselves.

This is a 40 year old woman. They’ve been estranged for 10+ years. At this point, I’ve already retained an attorney, because when we get engaged/married, she IS the type to petition to see my assets to have her child support raised.

What charming women!

Post # 5
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Well, I put up with it in my last relationship- all I have to say is the guy really has to be the right one for you in order to deal with it. I couldnt handle it after a very short amount of time, and that threw up a red flag for me. Personally, baby mama drama is a deal breaker for me now..but if he is really the one you will find a way to make it work…what doesnt kill you makes you stronger! I commend you for sticking by your guy through it all.

Post # 7
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@soontobesmith87:  Thats really awesome, good for you!! You know you’re with the right person if you cant imagine the relationship any other way 🙂

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