One step forward….too many steps back

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t know why he would seriously take you ring shopping on his own initiative, mention getting married in 2015, and then turn it into ” when we get married in 5 years.” It doesn’t make sense. Is it possible he and his mom are trying to throw you off?

 

Post # 5
Member
25 posts
Newbee

That was my first impression too… Not to get your hopes up, but maybe he’s trying to trick you so it will be a surprise!

Post # 6
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Have you directly asked him? Something along the lines of – hey, I’m confused. You mentioned a short time ago about getting married the same weekend I graduate. Have you rethought that idea?

just make sure you ask in a friendly/curious/knowledge seeking way and not in the hysterical crying way (I’ve been there. Done that 🙂 

Post # 7
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

is it possible he was just saying that to throw you off the trail, so the proposal is a surprise?

Post # 8
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@nerdybee:  maybe he is just trying to throw you off by giving different timelines.

Post # 9
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

That would definitely make me mad. I think you should ask him straight out. I don’t think marriage is something to mess around about.

Post # 11
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@nerdybee:  Um, yeah. I’d get some clarification from him on his sudden change of heart. Depending on that conversation, I’d tell him to come talk to you about rings when he’s serious about getting married.

How old are the two of you if you don;t mind me asking?

Post # 12
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Now Sapphire Resort

@nerdybee:  I would be very honest about the ring show.  Simply tell him that you would rather not go if he isn’t serious about getting engaged soon.  He should realize it isn’t fair of him to get you excited when he intends to have you wait for years.  Also, if he is trying to throw you off maybe this will make him realize that a surprise is fun, but confusion and disappointment is not.

 

Post # 14
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Now Sapphire Resort

@nerdybee:  So happy to hear that your plan is on track!  As for braces, interview your photographer in advance, braces are actually pretty easy to photoshop out of your engagement photos.  Of course, they won’t usually be able to do EVERY shot, but if you negotiate in advance they can work into the price fixing 10 or so of your favorites.  I have photoshopped my son’s braces out of many pics (at his request). 

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