- 3 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
Sheesh! It seens like I’m only posting negative posts lately. These hormones sure do know how to wear on me.
So recently my husband and I had our one year anniversarry. Yay! We made it over the first hump and things are going well for the majority. My hormones and his time taken off work took their toll but I feel our relationship is still strong and secure so that is definately a good thing.
Now knowing I would be far into the pregnancy on our anniversary and with my husbands break from work I knew we wouldn’t be able to do much this year. I told him I would be perfectly happy just going to our favorite restaurant (the melting pot….yumm!) For cheese and chocolate and calling it a day so long as we spent it together.
Now rewind to four years ago on our one year dating anniversary. Any idea what we did? Nothing. He didn’t even notice ut was our anniversarry so he made plans to go play music with his buddies. I let it go and said nothing hoping he would remember on his own. Weeks turned into months and six months later I brought it up. He felt bad and made every attempt to make it up to me for the next three anniversarries.
So on midnight before we fell asleep (we stay up late) I set his phone alarm to go off to say happy annivrrsary and some sap to top it off right as it turned into our anniversary. He responds “happy anniversary. I love you.” And that was it.
For the day of our anniversary my family wants to visit in the morning after church. I agrer to having my house ransacked by a bunch of unruly kids but only for a couple hours, I wanted my husband and I to have a day alone togethsr. While mt family is at my house my husband takea off for a couple hours to see a friend. I end up baby sitting these unruly kids for five hours! When my husband gets back he informs me we were invited to an early dinner with his family and needed to get going.
Oh and did I mention I was going on my third night of four or less hours of sleep and in my third trimester of pregnancy?
So we go and I’m ready to fall asleep the whole time. We spent two hours with his family before coming back home. We picked up our eedding cake topper while we were with his family and his mom starts asking if she can come over to see the baby room set up even though its not done. We agree thinking since it was already rvening and she knew it was our anniversary that she would chose a diffetent day. Nope. We had to rush home and I had to rush to finish the dishs and clean up after my neice and nephew. My husband was helping but a co worker stopped by and I was left to finish the cleaning. As soon as I get done his parents knock on the door. I show them the room and talk with them for a bit until they leave.
By this time my husband dissappears as well as his co worker and somegow I’m the only adult in my house witv two other kids. No one told me they were going anywhere or anything, they just left me to baby sit two more brat kids (I’m not kidding these kids are terrors). Apparently the coworker asked my husband if they could leave the kids with us for a bit while he went to the store and my DH agreed. After looking aroubd for 20 minutes not being able to find my husband to find out what was going on because no one said anything to me I called him. Apparently his dad decided it was time at that moment for some home repairs and brought my husband to their house. So alone again babysitting a bunch of kids, this time about an hour. By the time my husband got home it was too late to go anywhere or do anything so I decided to take a bath. I get in after using all the hot water and my husband needs something out of the bathroom so I had to get up to give it yo him, accidentally hitting the plug and draining the tub. When I went to get back in there was only half an inch of water left. I sat in the tub looking around and started to cry. Those dang hormones! What didn’t help was that every time I said something about it being our anniversary it was kind of shrugged off. Npt one loving look in my direction, no “I’m so happy” or anything. It was any normal day. I posted a short quick ily and happy anniversary on my fb to him and my response was a “like” while he was sitting on the toilet!
We got in bed for a movie and we just fell asleep. No hug kiss I love you, no intimacy of any kind which is unusial on a normal night.
I just don’t get where things went to horribly wrong and idk how much of my dissappointment is hormonal and how much is understandable. If it makes a difference we did eat or wedding cske while sitting on the couch watching a movie. But all focus was on the movie and not what the cake represented.
With all the stress from my husband taking time off work and the baby prep, I just wanted a day to celebrate our marriage and be together but that didn’t happen. I didn’t have to go out to eat, I just wanted to knoe that this past year mrant as much to him as it does to me but I didn’t get thst feeling at all. I will afmit I awoke in a bad mood that day because I only got 3.5 hours of sleep but I apologized and changed my attitude early on in the day.
Do I sit here cryong partly from hormoned and partly because (although I know it’s not true) I feel completely unappreciated and as if our marriage means nothing to him. These hormones!
Is it thw hormones or would you feel let down and hurt as well? I don’t want my husband to feel bad and I know he will if I bring up my let down but I feel totally forgotten, as if our marriage and my role in his life just isn’t all that important. And I’m angry that our families knew it was our anniversary yet didn’t give us a second of breathing room until it was too late.