one year anniversary was a let down…

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Mrslovebug:  I’m so sorry you had a crappy first anniversary! It’s not just pregnancy hormones that are in play, they just make things more intense. My DH worked out of town the weekend of our 1 year anniversary (and I was 17w pregnant at the time.) I went on the work trip with him and he worked 18 hour days. The day of our anniversary he was supposed to be off at noon & we were going to grab lunch, but by 2 I hadn’t heard from him so I grabbed my bag and left, I passed him in the hotel lobby, he didn’t say a word to me and I got in my car and made the 2 hour drive home crying. (he had to drive his work vehicle) – when he got home I was obviously upset and he just went straight to our room and took a nap. I sobbed he didn’t get it. 

I don’t mean to thread jack but what I’m trying to say is I know exactly how you feel. sometimes our DH’s turn into DUH’s. I hope he makes it up to you! Make sure you tell him how hurt your feelings are that he didn’t take the time to make your day special and maybe you can celebrate on amother night. But if you are anything like me that ship has sailed and there’s no making up for it!

Post # 4
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Mrslovebug:  Clearly you and your DH are not on the same page when it comes to anniversaries.

But you can’t say they aren’t important to him just because he is not into the same celebratory rituals. Some guys just don’t get the need for special plans, and they never will.

Instead of telling him you would be happy with dinner out at the Melting Pot, sit down with him ahead of time and make definite plans for the day, including reservations. If you leave it all up in the air with no definite plans, it’s easy for the day to get hijacked by friends and family.

Post # 5
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m sorry you didn’t get the day you wanted! But I don’t think I’d be too mad at your husband. It sounds like you agreed to having your family over, so that’s not anything he did. And he probably should have consulted with you prior to accepting a dinner invitation with his family, but not the end of the world. The only big no-no was leaving you in the house with two kids without tell you! That’s poor form. As for watching a movie while eating your anniversary cake? You could have just turned the movie off! 

The day is over. But since it didn’t go how you like, I say try again next week. Tell your husband that you really want a day for just the two of you. No family. Nice dinner out. Cuddly time with a movie. Maybe a nice bath with candles. Be very clear. Put it on the calendar. Hints don’t usually work with my husband, and I’m guessing yours is the same way. Don’t be pissy. Just tell him you didn’t get what you wanted on your anniversary, so you’d like to have some couple time next weekend and make a plan. 

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