One Year later BM Photoshoot

posted 3 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 2
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

Have you talked to your BMs about the idea?

Post # 3
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

What is the purpose of this diva photoshoot? Didn’t you get pictures at the wedding?

Post # 4
Member
6034 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I can’t imagine all 8 girls being on board with this. I find it a bit over-the-top. 

Post # 5
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

I reiterate the question of the previous posters: have your bridesmaids all consented?  Will you be OK doing the photoshoot with only partial participation?  I was the (way) out of town bridesmaid every time and would not have been able to fly back for this sort of thing. 

Post # 6
Member
2420 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Mz Izzie:  Dunno why all the comments have been so negative and assuming you’re putting a gun to the heads of your girls to make them suffer through this photoshoot, I’d be happy to do this for any girl whose wedding I’d been in and I think it’d be a lot of fun.  My only suggestion is to check groupon, they often have photography deals in my area, I got my boudoir shoot from groupon and it was great.  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
6034 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

jennmariee:  I think the reason the comments are all negative us because life goes on after your wedding, and no one’s wedding is the first or last wedding in history. Doing a “bridesmaids reunion” photoshoot is awkward at best. It feels like the bride is still trying to keep herself in the spotlight, when it’s well past time to let others enjoy their own time in the sun. There is nothing wrong with a couple celebrating their anniversary or even sharing an anniversary with a couple of friends, but reassembling a large wedding party for the sole purpose of doing a photo session is over the top. 

Obviously if the OP had extenuating circumstances at her wedding then her idea will probably be taken in a more positive spirit. But if the motivation is just to re-live the wedding, then it is time to move on, and if the motivation is to just get all the close friends together, then whatever event it is (even a photoshoot) would be more appropriate if all the attendees are on equal footing, I.e. once someone calls it a “one year later bridesmaid session” then the former bride is automatically the center of attention, and that is not fair on anyone.

Post # 8
Member
2420 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Horseradish:  I can totally see your point and it’s entirely possible that OPs BMs are all rolling their eyes over this, but I guess I didn’t want to jump to that conclusion.  I think I have a different experience personally so I see it differently.  I’ve only been in one wedding, not counting my own, but I talk often with that bride about how much fun her wedding was and how we wish we could relive it.  She was married in Vegas and we’ve joked about getting all the girls together, putting on our BM dresses and hitting the town with her in her wedding dress.  Now we say the same after my wedding.  Why not, they were joyous days for both of us and we were thrilled to celebrate each other, so they’re bound to come up in conversation.  I guess I kind of saw this a little like that 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

Horseradish:  I agree with you.  Making this about the wedding and imposing a theme creates a problem.  Her wedding is over.  She has no right to continue subjecting these women to the Bridesmaids’ Dilemma: Do I be honest, or do I say ‘OK’ to everything as long as it isn’t totally bankrupting me to make The Bride happy?  By framing this as an extension of the wedding the OP creates a massive mess as it becomes difficult to discern the former bridesmaids’ honest feelings about the event.  With respect to the specific case/theme in the OP–I am a boring career woman in my mid-thirties, have not been, and never will be a diva and have no interest in playing dress-up as one, as it would make me feel like a ridiculous spectacle.  I would be willing to deal with my personal discomfort for a good friend on her wedding day but would be mightly resentful of being asked to set aside my own personal discomfort a whole year later.  However, I would also feel at least somewhat obligated to continue being a “good friend” and might have a hard time saying no. 

jennmariee:  

Post # 10
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

Double-post because the Edit window closed: it is very possible that the OP’s friends would all be fine with the theme–just because the theme isn’t for me doesn’t mean that it isn’t for a lot of other people.  However, I fear that by phrasing this as a continuation of the wedding the OP might make it difficult for anyone who might be uncomfortable to honestly admit that they would be uncomfortable.

Post # 11
Member
6034 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

jennmariee:  there’s a big difference between reliving fond memories of wonderful days, and forcing more events around something that should be a closed chapter of your life. People’s friends will indulge them in all sorts of stuff— go see a movie you’re maybe not thrilled about, or go to a hockey match when you couldn’t possibly care less about the sport, etc. You say “yes” because you’re a nice person and want to make your friends happy. Fair play and we all do it. But to create an event that focuses on your last major event, in which you were Number One Center of Attention and everyone else (no matter how loved or appreciated) was just a minor supporting character, well, that’s not cool at all, and it’s not fair on your friends. Half the ladies or more will say Sure just out of having good manners, even if they secretly hate the idea. 

It’s like the parents who throw a huge massive party for every single birthday for their kids. It’s over-indulgent. No one needs eighteen huge birthday bashes and, barring extreme circumstances, no one needs a Bridesmaid Anniversary photo shoot. It’s the OP’s anniversary. That means it’s just another day to the bridesmaids.

Post # 12
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t have any ideas or themes for you, nor do I hate the idea as much as everyone else.

BUT….and this is a big but, it is only ok if you are paying for everything, at least providing a free meal and probably unlimited booze, and making it expressly clear that you do not require them to be there and that you will not in any capacity be even remotely upset if they can’t or do not want to participate.

I am going to assume you are doing all of those things.

Post # 13
Member
602 posts
Busy bee

Now I’ve heard it all.

Post # 15
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

My girls would never be interested in this. I wouldn’t be either. OP, have you spoken to your BMs and do all EIGHT of them really want to do this?

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