(Closed) One year out and I'm a bit scared

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

@SillyStacey:  Frown Sorry you’re feeling anxious today!! D and I were in the same boat a couple of months ago (even before we started planning our wedding). Then I found this blog on Pinterest that gave some tips on keeping your relationships fresh. We tried a few of them and it has really made a difference. One thing we started was just communicating to each other more. After living in the same city when we never had before, things just got dull for us. Then we started telling each other what we actually wanted to do instead of waiting for the other to guess it. Another thing that helped me was just doing little things for him. D normally does dishes or cleans, so one night a week I would try to do that for him instead. Or I would let him pick out a movie to watch, even though it may not be my favorite. I hope some of these suggestions help. Keep your chin up!!!! <3

Post # 4
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

I am almost a year out now too, and I am in the same place as you!  I read an article once on A Practical Wedding (love that site), about how culturally there are very few avenues for women to be able to “mourn” so to speak, what we are leaving behind when we choose to commit ourselves to one person forever.  At every other big life transition (graduating from high school, starting/ending college, getting your first “real job”, etc.) we are told that while it is exciting to move forward, it is still OK to feel sad for all the good things you are leaving behind.  I think marriage is also kind of like that- yes, we are excited to move forward in our lives, into the next stages of our relationships with men we love, but we also recognize that there are good things about our “single” life that we are leaving behind when we make this choice.  Sometimes I think, at least in my opinion, I almost feel ashamed if I am not 100% happy about getting married all of the time.  And when I feel sadness for things like not being able to go out dancing with my friends and flirt with guys, or the fact that I won’t ever be able to just up and move to a new city if I feel like it, I feel like I’m doing something wrong or that I’m not really ready to get married.  But, when you put it into context, maybe it’s just the natural way we are supposed to feel when we are taking a big step in our lives? 

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