Post # 1
So I joined okcupid for the quiz aspect when I was 17 (seriously, I was addicted to those silly things) and eventually started using the dating aspect, where I was on-and-off of it until it lead me to my fiancé. So I was wondering, what has the online dating experience been like for other ladies, especially those around my age (23)?
Personally I never tried any other sites, and I don’t have any real horror stories (a guy I met up with ignored me for 10 minutes to talk to some other guys about longboarding, I learned a ton of dirty laundry through a mutual friend about a guy after our successful 1st date and canceled the 2nd), and I made some good friends throught it, and soon after I decided I really wanted a serious boyfriend, I found my FH’s profile. His pictures weren’t great, and he was a little shorter and further away than I thought I was looking for, but it looked like we had a ton in common. Soon enough he replied, and about 2 and a half weeks and 13000 words later we had our first date. 😀 Also, I think it’s worth noting that of 4 really great guys I met through there, only one messaged me first. My fiancé had the good fortune to be active for only a couple of months and go on exactly one first date through online dating.
So that’s my story, any others and any questions about online dating, post here! We may be taken, but we have single friends, right? 😉
Post # 3
I met FH on okc. We live a mile apart, are very similar, and I knew his mom, but it took the Internet to get us together
Post # 4
@Laurenplusalex: I love stories like that! I mean, I would feel weird as hell asking a guy in the grocery store if he wanted to grab drinks some time, and I’d probably think it was weird if it happened to me, but online you can learn a bit about their personality and what you might have in common before exchanging numbers lol.
Post # 5
@ladyamalthea: lol, we met out FHs in the same place and we’re date twins! (Different year though)
Post # 6
I started with eHarmony at age 24 (just gotten out of a 4 year relationship that ended in no proposal). I did a few months on, few months off, and so on. Then I tried match. Same thing, few months on, few months off, and so on. I didn’t care for the online experience very much – no bad scenarios, just a lot of flaky people who didn’t seem to be on for the right reasons. I ended meeting FI on match, so I guess after 3 years of trying to online date, it finally worked out. I was skeptical about everyone I went out with, FI was no different. I was utterly shocked when he told me one day early in our relationship that I was the one. Melting… And the rest is history.
Post # 7
I didnt meet my fiance on online dating, but I was on match.com for a few years and dated a guy for over a year off of it. I had some funny stories – one date was going so poorly the guy took out his phone and showed me a video of dolphins jumping in the ocean, one told me he took his dog out to the woods and shot him in the head instead of getting him euthanized, one blocked my phone number after i told him I wasn’t going to be a booty call (we had been on two dates already), one guy made me rate our date on a scale of 1-10 and I gave it a 7 and he was unhappy, one wouldn’t stop talking about cranberry juice, one was a pilot and tried to take me to the airport on our first date…. etc. etc.
I learned not to go out to dinner with them — drinks only…. so I could escape! I am SO happy that I no longer have to do online dating! I had a bunch of other girl friends doing it at the same time- so it was super fun to compare stories.
Post # 8
Oh lord. I checked off all but one of your options. I was single for a LONG time! 🙂
eHarmony: Way too much pressure for me. The “guided communication” was such a weird, forced way to get to know someone but when someone tried to “fast track” it ended up seeming pushy. Meanwhile, it just felt like everyone wanted to get married TOMORROW!
Match: I don’t know. Several of my friends met their husbands/SOs there but I didn’t have any luck at all. Not a single date.
Niche Catholic Site: Again, pressure. One of the guys I went out with talked about the biblical validity of the papacy the entire time. Seriously. I tried to change the subject and he kept switching the subject back. It was so weird.
Another niche site: Not going to name it, but it had more to do with how I look and I had probably 3 first dates a month for close to a year. Also one relationship that didn’t work out.
Plenty of Fish: Lord. Worst dates ever. Every guy I met on there was a loser.
OK Cupid: I loved the quizzes/questions and the way they measure your similarities. I went on the two worst dates of my life with OKC guys, though, and was about to delete my account (for the 3rd time) when I met my SO there. I love OKC!
Edit: Just realized this was posted in the 20-something board. I am not 20-something 🙂 Thus I had a lot more time to do dating sites than most of you. LOL
Post # 9
Haha, I met my husband on PlentyOfFish. We were both each other’s first date on there, and both cancelled our profiles shortly after. Two other of my friends joined after my success and had seriously terrible experiences. It worked well for me, but I’m not sure I’d suggest it to others…
Post # 10
I am 30 and met my love on match.com! I had been on it for a long time and was actually going on to cancel my membership and there he was as a new member. I winked and the rest is history…I have never met anyone who “gets me” more than he does 🙂
Post # 11
- Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.
I used OkCupid. Met a good handful of people; went on a couple dates. A lot the people messaging me were weirdos or not attractive to me, despite. My friend is actually married to somebody she met on there. Found FH IRL, though, and deleted my account.
Post # 12
I met my husband on match.com. We weren’t matched up by the site though. I was logged in and was on the chat and he messaged me. If i wasn’t logged in at that time he said he wouldn’t have even tried. I tried A LOT though… and I’m not sure one or another was the best… because its like anything else. I did chemistry.com for their free weekends, and I did eharmony for 3 months (but met my husband 1 month into that and canceled the remainder) and I did match.com on and off for a month or so, but when I met my hunnie I was a little over a month into my three month subscription. (When I called the girl gave me two more months for five additional bucks so I figured why not.) To be honest though, I met lots of weirdos, I’m sure a few of which were catfish, and I was getting really bitter and exhausted going through the rigamarol. Im so glad my husband messaged me. We were in different states, something I was NOT looking for, but I’m in a place now I never thought I could be because of him. It’s exciting and has opened up my horizons. He got me out of a rut and a bad place in my life too. It ended up everyone I knew, knows him and his family, but our paths never crossed. Even at our wedding his mom ended up knowing my best friend’s Uncle…and remembered my husband when he was 4 years old. Such a small world. But if each of us would have met the other at different times in our lives, it wouldn’t have worked out. I always say… everything happens for a reason.
Post # 13
I think that On-Line Dating Websites work well for younger people than older ones…
I have lots of horror stories for women friends (and a few from guys) who tried this as a way to date in their late 30s and beyond…
By that time in life… a lot of the “prospects” have been married before, and well quite frankly as a GF once said…
“They are folks that other women threw away for good reason”
I myself have certainly seen a large sampling of dishonorable men on a few sites that are well known in my area (Eastern Canada).
Men I knew who were married, or in an otherwise committed relationship. Guys who were dating a gal for awhile (like months) and she though they were monogamous, but he still had his profile up and trolling regularly. A neighbour of mine who was multiple dating women… a real player.
And a woman I knew who was using her profile as basically a way to “use” men for sex & money (sometimes both… yup next thing to prostitution)
Etc, etc, etc.
My best advice for anyone over 40 is the good old fashioned tried and true methods of… Church, Clubs, Mutual Friends, Matchmakers… or even a Bar Setting if you are a “wise picker”. At least in real life, you can potentially learn a lot more about a man, than just what he tells you.
Hope this helps (someone)
Post # 14
The amount of insane online dating experiences I have had entertained my friends for a good number of years. I AM SO GLAD I NEVER HAVE TO DATE AGAIN.
I met H when I was 37, so I had years of online dating under my belt. I used eHarmony and went on a couple of dates, nothing much. I also went on a Craigslist date once – weirdest experience of my life to date. I don’t recommend it. I met most of the guys I dated on Lavalife, but they were not quality guys.
Where did I end up meeting H? At the bar across the street from my condo building. Where I went 3 or 4 times a week to hang out with my bartender friend.
Post # 15
I was on OK Cupid for a while, but the one guy I hit it off with was an hour+ late when we were supposed to meet, and my phone was dying, so I left He had called and said he would be late, but that was ridiculous! He did call again about 15 minutes after I left, but I didn’t go back, and we never talked again…until he randomly messaged me on AIM several months later, b/c he thought I was someone else! Once he realized who I was, he was like…Oh…well, do you want to try to meet again? Um. No.
I did meet another guy online, but I think it was another site….Yahoo Dating maybe? I don’t remember. We had funwhen we met, but there was no real chemistry. We went to dinner and a concert, and ended up getting trashed. I had to crash at his place, bc I coudln’t drive (stupid stupid stupid), but we didn’t do anything…like I said…no chemistry. Funny thing is, I’m pretty sure I saw him a couple weeks ago at my job…haha. Our date was probably 5 or so years ago, so I don’t know if he recognized me or if was even him, but it looked like him. Not many young guys have shiny bald heads!
Online dating was just too awkward for me. I know plenty of people that do it successfully, though. My older sister just asked me the other day if I would judge her if she joined eHarmony! Haha. I told her it would be great for her…she moved to a new city a couple years ago, has a small circle of collegues, and is not the most social person if she doesn’t know anyone.
Post # 16
I met my BF on Match. It was pretty cool because we actually messaged each other at the same time. It was the first day I joined and I never went out with anyone else. He said he had been on the site for a couple of months and had two terrible first dates. I was REALLY apprehensive about it and it took me awhile before I was convinced he was legit haha. He canceled his Match account as soon as he got home from our first date. Joining Match was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.