Post # 1
I’m throwing a co-ed baby sprinkle for a friend (with my husband), and so far, out of 21 invitations that were sent out (for a total of ~40 guests), only 5 people have said they’re coming. We’ve gotten “no’s” from another 8. There are 10 that we haven’t heard back from yet, and we’re starting the process of reaching out individually. Given how its gone so far, I’m not expecting many more to say they are coming. This couple has already had a baby, but since they didn’t get a shower, I really wanted to give them a chance to feel celebrated by their community of close friends.
So, I’m trying to figure out how to adapt a sprinkle to a small group. I’d really like suggestions of ways to make it memorable, since the activity ideas I’d originally planned wouldn’t make sense in a small group.
Originally, I’d planned to hold the event in a church fellowship hall. Now I’m worried it’ll feel too huge for a small group. So, I’ve made a reservation at a restaurant that’s convenient for brunch for 12 (with us and the couple, we’ve got 9 going so far). I’m waiting a few days to see if we get more RSVPs before calling the guests to let them know about the change of location.
I’d planned on having a wishing tree, a fall-themed photo booth, and doing a game of “guess if mom or dad said this (funny/ridiculous) thing as a young’un.” There may or may not be physical gifts, as some have already given cash to the couple, and gifts were presented as optional on the invite.
What to do? How can I make the family feel celebrated at this small gathering?
Post # 2
april13th: I know you said that the couple didn’t get a baby shower with their first child, but does who you invited know? You generally only get one baby shower and that’s it and it’s usually for the first kid. If these people don’t know that, they may think the couple is going for a gift grab on the second child. That’s the only reason why I think it would be fair to guess some people may not be attending.
Post # 3
I think what you’re doing is perfect — having brunch at a restaurant. As for the games, I’d feel it out — I don’t think they are necessary. I had 3 baby showers for my first baby (thrown by different groups of friends/coworkers/family), and we didn’t play any games at any of them, but I always felt special. One of the showers was on the small side, like what you’re describing, and we had brunch at a restaurant. We just sat around the table and chatted, and then my husband and I opened gifts. It was lovely, and I didn’t feel like we needed games. It would have felt forced with the small group.
Post # 4
mrs.joiner: She never said they didn’t get a shower for thier first kid.
She said they already had the baby, but never got a shower.
Post # 5
mrs.joiner: The norm in our circle is that we celebrate and support each other on important occasions. I feel I addressed the gift issue pretty adequately on the invite with “gifts aren’t necessary, but if you’d really like to give something, the couple would love replenishable baby supplies.” I’m a pretty big stickler for ettiquette, and I am perfectly comfortable hosting this event.
I appreciate your taking the time to respond. I recognize that some people don’t feel it’s appropriate to celebrate a second child with an event, but that’s not what I’m asking for input on, and at this point, it’s not helpful. I would really like ideas on adapting the event to a smaller group.
Post # 6
MrsEME: If you read the first line of my post “I know you said that the couple didn’t get a baby shower with their first child, but does who you invited know?”
I’m asking if everyone else who was invited knew that the couple didn’t receive a baby shower for the first baby. I would suggest reading first.
april13th: I didn’t realize how you worded the invite, which is why I asked that in my first post. I wasn’t insulting you or giving you a hard time on wanting to celebrate a second baby, I was asking maybe why there were so few people who responded on attending. As for what you’re doing I don’t see what the issue is? Quantity is not important, quality is. So if brunch is what you end up doing, I’m sure what you listed above is fine. We had a small shower for our baby and I loved it, it wasn’t that many people, but what matter was the people that were there celebrating with us. Try not to worry so much about the details. I think the fact that you’re taking this upon yourself and wanting to celebrate their second child is very sweet, and what you have planned will be a a wonderful thing for them.
Post # 7
april13th: Wait, is the shower for the baby they already had (and didn’t ever get a shower for), or for a second baby that has yet to arrive?
The first time I read it I thought you were saying that you were throwing a shower for a baby that has already been born.
Either way, I think the brunch sounds great! It’s out of your control who comes and who doesn’t so just try to enjoy time with the people that do come.
Post # 8
mrs.joiner: sorry- both OP’s post and the first sentence of your were a little confusing. I still dont see in OP’s post where it says this is baby #2- to me it reads that the baby happen to be norn already, and they didn’t have a shower.
But later, in response to another post- she seems to clarify there are a total of two children.
And while I re-read and understand now how the first line of your post read- the last part of the first sentence (yes, it makes sense now)– didn’t make sense to me the first time around.
Post # 9
A second baby shower, thrown by close friends who want to celebrate the birth of a new baby is very proper. I don’t know where people got the idea that it’s not, as long as the guest list is kept to one’s nearest and dearest. Etiquette has no issue with this.
However, ” no gifts” is not appropriate on an an invitation. Usually, it’s because one isn’t supposed to expect gifts or even be seen as thinking in terms of them. However, a shower, by definition, is all about gifts! It’s one of the few occasions according to etiquette where bringing a gift is considered obligatory. So if you really didn’t want people to feel pressured to bring them, it probably shouldn’t be called a shower.
That said, there’s nothing wrong with holding a shower after the baby is born or in a restaurant. A small and intimate group is more appropriate, if anything, not less.
There are lots of games or activities that would be fun for a group this size.
Post # 10
Playing games meant for a larger group will make things more awkward. If there will just be nine of you and it is essentially only 5 guests other than the hosts and the honorees I would skip games and just have brunch. Or else, research different games, maybe some kind of trivia while you are waiting for food.
Post # 11
Maybe you could decorate onsies or booties. Obviously you couldn’t set up a craft station at a restaurant but you could perhaps do little bags at each seating with a few paint pens or similar.