(Closed) Only About the Wedding

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

YES.  The only thing I can say is, hang in there, it gets better!  My fiance and I had a number of fights in the beginning about a bunch of stuff, such as choice of venue, which city to have our wedding in, what type of wedding to have.  On top of that, I come from a large, overbearing Hispanic Catholic family who had their own ideas of how the wedding should be.  As things wear on, you’ll better learn how to come to compromises with your FH, how to say NO to people like your family who might have opinions on every little thing, and what battles are worth having and which ones are not. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My fiance and I have been together a little over two years. The ONLY fights we’ve ever had have been about The Wedding. Nothing has been major, but it seems like such a stupid reason to argue!

Post # 5
Member
900 posts
Busy bee

We are not fighters, but we have had our moments with the wedding.  And also with our new house.  I think neither one of us is really used to making decisions with someone else. 

Post # 6
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

It’s a stressful thing. We didn’t fight about it, but he kept saying, “I just want you to be happy” when all I wanted was input! What helped us was when I asked him to make a list of what was most important to him in the wedding (both material and otherwise) after seeing one of the Bees’ blog about doing this. I think it helped him feel involved and it helped me envision “our” wedding instead of just mine. 

Maybe once you figure out what he’s envisioning, it will be easier to come to a compromise – even a guest list one. 

Post # 7
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with asking him what he wants, what he envisions and ultimately what he wants the day to feel like! One of the recent bees (I cannot remember for the life of me which one…Daschund, maybe) sat down and had him write out what he wanted and I think that’s a really great idea! It makes his ideas known and he doesn’t feel like he’s just a piece of the puzzle, when really he’s one of the two big pieces!

Post # 9
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

I like the idea of a list and wish I had known about this site earlier in my planning.  Oh well.

Post # 10
Member
900 posts
Busy bee

Sometimes I think you just have to argue a little.  There is probably some ideal way of handling every confrontation, but it’s not possible to live every moment right out of a psychology textbook.  We just remind ourselves after we argue that we are doing just fine and that it is normal and that at the end of the day, the fact that we can argue, get over it, and move on makes us stronger than had we never argued in the first place.  If you bicker every now and then but no one ever says anything you regret and you can eventually talk about what is really bothering you, then as far as I am concerned, you are doing great.

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