(Closed) Only family allowed to bring kids?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

“we’ll pay 10 bucks towards your sitter, hint hint” ???

lol

Sorry, no idea ! But curious to know also !

Post # 4
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

1) “Adults Only Reception”

2) #___ of seats have been reserved in your honour.

3) only address the invites to who you want to invite, not the entire family. So Mr & Mrs Joe Smith, NOT “The Smith Family”.

if you’re dealing with a lot of OOT guests with children, is it possible to arrange for childcare somewhere/somehow? If so, I would put that info on your website, if you have one, or word of mouth.

Post # 5
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

I *think* family children is actually an OK line to draw, etiquette wise. It makes sense that you would want your family to be there, right?

Post # 6
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

No, there is no way to say or hint “family children only can attend” since that is very rude (aka breach of etiquette). Either invite all or none. And don’t be suprised if friends are offended and some cut off ties with you if you do invite family only but tell them to hire babysitters.

Post # 7
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Ember78: Hi Lisa105. I thought it was you.

Post # 8
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We invited everyone to bring their kids, since 90% of my family is from OOT and wouldn’t have been able to come if they couldn’t bring their kids.  Even though the locals were allowed to bring their kids, most of them decided on their own to leave their kids with a babysitter.  Out of 150 guests, only two local kids were present, and one was an infant who obviously needed to stay with his mother, and the other was a 5th grader that I babysit for.  Obviously I couldn’t stay home that night to babysit, so he came. 🙂   

So you might not have anything to worry about.  I think adults like nights out without kids sometimes.  I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my (theoretical) kid with people I don’t know, but if I lived in the same town/city as the wedding, I’d be happy to leave my (theoretical) kid with the regular babysitter.

Post # 9
Member
13101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

It’s not all or none – it’s all or none within a category.  Like, you can’t invite the kids of cousin A but not the kids of cousin B because they are in the same category.  But you can invite the kids of family and not the kids of friends because they are totally different categories.

Saying it’s strictly all or none is like saying that you have to invite every aquaintence you’ve ever made because if you invite one friend you have to invite them all.  We all draw lines places, the lines just have to be consistently followed accross the board.

ETA: Don’t tell your friends that it is an adult only reception if you will be inviting kids of family.

Post # 10
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mrs.KMM: YES. Thank you for saying it so much better than I was thinking it.

Post # 11
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Well, I certainly hope it’s okay to invite the children of family members only, because that’s what we did!  We had to draw a line somewhere.  It’s so tough!

Post # 12
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think it’s rude for guests to invite people who’s names are not on the invitation. If your kids names or “& Family” is not on the invitation, why would you assume they are invited? 

I do not think there is a way to invite some children and not the rest without offending at least some people. Maybe the best route is to provide babysitting for all the kids? That said, I don’t think it is wrong to not invite children you are not close to to your wedding.

Post # 13
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@Ember78: Actually I do believe you are incorrect on this. Can you source your info? As far as I’ve known, allowing All family is fine, its just not ok to pick and choose a mix of family and friends.

Post # 14
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@bebefly: OP asked for an etiquette answer. Please don’t start drama just because you don’t agree with her answer.

Post # 15
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We are only inviting our family’s children.  If not, then 80% of our guest list would be another +2, which would just be ridiculous.

Of course I want all of my younger cousins there, as well as our cousin’s kids.  But we can’t feasibly invite every child along with their parents. 

I think people will understand.

Post # 16
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Ember78:

Yikes ! that’s a huge generalization and assumption !

And don’t be suprised if friends are offended and some cut off ties with you if you do invite family only but tell them to hire babysitters.

Has this happend to you?  I would think true friends would be understanding?

The topic ‘Only family allowed to bring kids?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors