Post # 1
The only people my fiance, and I, are having stand up for us at our wedding are my sister and his brother. We want to keep it simple. However, I realize, it is never “simple” no matter how hard I try. My question is, I have a best friend, who I admire greatly, and still want to include her somehow. I plan on incorporating her in other ways- such as making my headpiece, co-hosting my shower, helping with decor, etc. But, I feel like, because I am not having her “stand up” for me, I’m worried she thinks I’m just using her.
Since I am asking a lot of her ( support and advice) ….What is the best way to honor her for her part in the planning- if she isn’t officially in the wedding party- but has done so much?
Post # 3
A special message in the program. have her do a reading during the ceremony. let her do a toast. Allow her to sit in the front with family. There are tons of options it just depends on what fits for you. 🙂
Post # 4
When one of my best friends got married, she has a big family, and so did her husband, so the wedding party was family only. So her best friend and I did readings, and we didnt feel used or left out. I understood you cant be in everything, and family comes first. I felt honored to be included at all.
Post # 5
I personally don’t get why she needs a speical role. She will be invovled by attending wedding events, ask her to come get ready with you. I would be happy for my friend, do you think her feelings would be hurt?
Post # 6
Honesty, he ways you are planning to “incorporate” your friend do sound like you’re using her. Did she volunteer to do all of this?
My best friend of 14 years got married last summer, and she had a simple church cerembest with no wedding party. We threw her a bachelorette party and shower on our own volition, and helped her get ready on the day of because we wanted to, and none of us expected any recognition.
Post # 7
If you are as close to her as you say you are, then she will naturally be involved with planning. I threw 3 bachelorette parties last year. I was a bridesmaid/MOH in 0 weddings–I was not even a guest at one of them. I helped with planning, I helped them get ready and just did everything I could because I love them and want them to be happy. This happened naturally and without much planning–I just stepped in because it worked.
Your friend should understand and will o what she is willing and able to do to be involved in this time for you. Labels and titles don’t really matter when there is a good relationship.
Post # 8
I’ve decided I don’t want to be a bridesmaid again – even though I haven’t figured out how to say no to the people who will likely ask so maybe that will not realize itself. That being said, I would defiantely be involved in weddings – I’m probably the most creative of my group and wouldn’t mind giving ideas to make things super cool. I really dislike the dress purchase – actually it’s the shoe thing (my feet are larger than the sizing we often get here – which means my teal shoes are a custom buy exceeding my dress investment substancially ect- ugh!) I could do without the rehersal and the wedding being a long tendious day. I would rather spent my evening with my FI enjoying myself over duties.
Being involved and not a BM would make me happy. Maybe a little gift and a mention in the program would wonderfl (assuming I was invited!)