- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I'm in college and FI is graduating in the spring, and we recently got engaged:
Problem is, when people see the ring on my finger, I hear, "Oh, what a pretty promise ring!" I want to chew them out, but polietly tell them that it is in fact an engagement ring. Then I get, "Wow, that's actually a diamond?" I get the impression that in some people's minds, a 1/2 carat diamond isn't big enough to be an ering (my mother's was 1/10 carat solitare and my grandmother didn't even have one) since everyone is so used to seeing 2+ carats on celebs and blingy CZ bracelets and earrings. Yes, I used to have a promise ring that had it's home on my RIGHT finger for two years (yellow gold with our birthstones), but it was recently replaced my this beauty. Yes, I am young. Yes, the ring is 1/2 carat. No, it is not a promise ring. I'm not playing house with my boyfriend; I am getting married.
Another thing that is sort of related, but also gets under my skin: Diamond solitare promise rings. I also feel this is a reason I get the whole "Oh, nice promise ring" gig. I have a friend that I love dearly, but has a 1/5 carat diamond solitare promise ring that she wears on her left ring finger and gets offended when people ask if she is engaged. If you don't want it confused with an engagement ring, don't wear it like one. GAH! Sorry about a sorta bitchy rant, but it's only been a week and it's already getting on my last nerve!
Hmm...it looks like an engagement ring to me. Not sure why people think otherwise.
Pretty :)
your diamond is double the size of mine and no one ever thought it was anything other than an e-ring! weird comments you are getting.
A half carat is too small for an engagment ring?? Maybe it is just me but my half carat looks pretty stinking amazing if I do say so myself. My mom's was a 1/3, my grandma's is about that too. FI mom doesn't even have a diamond I don't think. I know FIs grandma doesn't have a diamond ring at all.
@PurpleUnicorn: Yeah, mine's a third of a carat! I would just keep correcting them, OP. It might be because you look really young or somehing (not that that's too comforting either, sorry!), but your ring is gorgeous and definitely looks like an e-ring to me!
That's really strange that people are making that comment... my ring is a half carat center stone, and no one has ever mistaken it for anything other than an engagement ring! 
Exactly! Since the only engagement ring I have ever seen is my mother's 1/10 carat, 1/2 carat and even the 1/4 carat solitares looked pretty freaking huge to me! I love my ring and no one will ever convince me otherwise ;)
I do think part of the reason I am getting these comments is that I am still in college and promise rings are more common than erings, so people just assume it is one. However, it's on my left finger! To me, that is a dead giveaway that is nothing but an ering.
It looks like an e-ring to me!!
My DH (when were dating, after 3 years) got me this promise ring, and I still wear it (on my right hand now), I feel like this is more obvious looking as apromise ring because all 3 stones are the same size, only the middle one is slightly raised:
I think your ring is beautiful! Try not to let them get to you!
That sucks. My guess is that it is almost entirely due to your age.
Wow.. that's really odd. Do you look a lot younger than you are? Maybe it has more to do with that than with the ring... there's no way I'd guess that a diamond of any size on a grown woman's left ring finger was a promise ring. :-/
@futuremrsmp: Agreed!
It isn't the size of your ring, but rather your age. Which doesn't really make it any better.
Your ring is beautiful.
Well congratulations on being engaged!! That is a gorgeous ring! I don't understand how people could be saying such uber rude things. A half carat is a hefty diamond, and regardless, an engagement ring is an engagement ring. Congratulations!!
It looks like an engagement ring to me!! Congrats! Try not to let other people make you feel insecure about it.
I have the same situation!. I'm 20 and have a 1/2 carat halo. People assume that it's fake, that it's a promise ring...No doubt society as whole have become more materialistic (not everyone!) I have a friend who got a 1/3 carat promise ring (Which looked like a tradiional e-ring) and told me "No this is a promise ring, it's not big enough to be an e-ring" as if there is a specific size that suddenly means it's an e-ring.
Idk I'd just try to be polite even though it's tough sometimes, i know
I do look younger than I am (most people guess about 15-16), but I live in the college dorms and everyone who I interact with is from the college. Still though, it's an engagement ring, people! :P
We don't really have promise rings here but I would never have thought that yours was - it clearly looks like an engagement ring and it's gorgeous, so congratulations. I have a 1/5 carat diamond solitaire and no one has ever said it's a promise ring. I wouldn't let it get to you too much - you have a lovely ring and you're getting MARRIED! That's a big deal! :)
I'm 23. My FI is 33. We both have professional jobs that pay well. I chose a .59ct solitaire. I've gotten a few comments about it. One was a good friend saying to his girlfriend that my ring was too and that small he would spend at least $10k on a ring after looking at mine. I was so mad that I pulled him aside and explained that I chose my ring for extremely personal family reasons and that it cost a lot closer to $10k than he might me thinking. I only did that because he's a close friend. He definitely put his foot in his mouth on that one.
Really recently I had an employee (who knows I'm engaged) ask if my engagement ring was my promise ring. It hurt. I rolled my eyes at him and said "No, of course not."
Some people are just fucking stupid.
Well I think it's beautiful, and those people are clearly either rude, or don't know what they're talking about- or both!
some ppl are just completely rude. I wouldnt ever think it was a promise ring. I would just automatically assume its an engagement ring.
Whatever, dont worry about the haters lol Its beautiful and if you love it; thats all that matters.
If other peers in college are saying that to you, likely it is because they are young and dont know anyone else that is engaged 'for real'.
If I saw it on you IRL I would assume you are engaged.
Not trying to be rude to your friends, but they're young...
When I was in undergrad and dating this guy, my friends and I all picked out rings. Minimum of 2 carats. All sorts of unneeded bling. And then you get older. And you work and you start getting serious in your relationship...and you find out how much this stuff REALLY costs.
Even now, I'm 25, when I tell some of my friends that my ring is not even a carat (it's like .75 or something, and I love it), they make comments on what huge rings they want. It's naivete. You can wear a big old rock, but it may not be quality. People aren't aware of cost or quality issues until they have to engage in the process themselves.
Enjoy your ring!
That's really odd. If it makes you feel better, my diamond's a carat with a halo (30 more diamonds)--it is not a small ring--and I did have someone reference it as a promise ring and ask when i thought I'd get engaged. WTF?! People are dumb.
It certainly looks like an engagment ring to me... that's so silly that they would say that... wouldn't a promise ring be worn on the other hand, or a different finger?
Really? That looks like an e-ring to me. People are nuts. TBH my DH didn't have a ring for me when we first got engaged, so we used one that I happened to have with me on the trip:
We did do shopping together for an e-ring and ended up buying a promise ring (and used it as my e-ring) because that was what we could afford:
I loved both of them and was proud to show them off! I still wear my E-ring (on the other hand now) even though it doesn't go or fit with my wedding band set. :) Don't let ignorant silly people get you down!
Your ring looks a lot like mine, but it's a little too blurry for me to know if we're ring twins (which would be exciting since I don't think I have one yet!). And It's definitely an engagement ring. Some people don't think before they speak.
@london: It looks almost EXACTLY like my e-ring! I can't believe people think it's a promise ring! My first guess would have been because of your age, not the size of the ring though. :/
Some people are shallow.
I would be so so so annoyed with people. I get similar reaction to my E-ring- it's a half carat saphirre that my fiance had made. I love it but to most people I think it looks like I'm just being rebelious and wearing a pretty ring on my ring finger. It's perfect for who we are as a couple though, and he was really careful to consider all the stylistic elements that I like when picking a ring (I never wear any jewlry so small was better for me). He knew that sapphires were my favorite stone and that I sort of hate diamonds (I'm a weirdo). So I just try to keep all that in mind when people are being jerks and let it go. People who know me well were sure it was an engagement ring the moment they saw it though so it's easier to be at ease about it. Not sure what I would do in your situation.
That's so odd. I have a half carat solitaire and I have NEVER recieved any comments like that, except from my older sister who thinks you can get married until you can afford a 2 carat ring. She's delusional. Anyhow, like other PP's have said, it may just be your age and not your ring. IMO, a half carat is a very nice size and nothing to scoff at. I wouldn't worry about it. Some people are just like that and you will encounter many in your life. Just let it roll off your shoulders and be happy you have a man that loves you!
@bride2bejc:hey now! My e-ring looks a lot like that, and it is no promise ring! DH was unique for some reason and said that he knew exactly what he wanted my ring to look like. I had just imagined a solitaire, but he was set on a 3-stone. I've never heard of those being a typical "promise ring" =[
@london: But anyway, I think your ring is beautiful! It may very well be because of your age, but still.. people just don't think before they speak these days!
PS not that it matters, but it doesn't look small at all to me!
PPS as a general question (anyone can answer) when you say 1/2 carat do you mean the center stone, or the whole thing? I'm new to ring lingo so I'm just wondering! Mine is 2 carats total but no clue what size the center stone is.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your engagement ring and I'd be so proud to wear it!
Doesn't look anything like a promise ring to me.
@NicoleEvelyn: Ha! I hate diamonds too... Mine's an iolite, because it matches my eyes.
The important thing is how proud you wear it, don't let things like that get in your head. I hate how materialistic everyone seems to be nowdays it's really embarassing how some people measure their life in stuff.
I have a 1/10 carat solitare and I couldn't be more inlove with it, so yeah for me your ring looks freakin huge.
It looks just like an engagement ring to me! My engagement ring & wedding band all together are about a half a carat. My engagement ring is .20 & my wedding band is .25 & I love them! People can be really rude or say things without thinking first. So just overlook them & keep on loving your gorgeous engagement ring & the meaning that stands behind it!
Ugh i hate these situations. Im so sorry your feelings keep getting hurt. Ive gone through this myself and my ring is very obviously an engagement ring. I think people KNOW something is an e-ring but say rude things just because they enjoy making others feel as miserable as they are!!!
My FI's sister got engaged today and some of his lovely cousins spent a good half hour analyzing her ring and comparing it to mine since she and i are the only to engaged girls....thankfully my sister in law is too nice to rub it in my face and made sure to make wonderful comments about my ring so that I didnt feel uncomfortable.
Its a sad sad world..... enjoy your ring, it is oh so beautiful and it is where YOU and YOUR FI are in our lives right now..... years from now if you want to upgrade do so, but always keep this as a token of your promise to each other.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Rivendeler | 9 |
| Suikerbossie | 9 |
| Future Mrs K | 8 |
| janetsnakehole | 6 |
| ellisrobertson | 6 |
| MrsOliveBird | 5 |
| ladyartichoke | 5 |
| ndreighton | 5 |
 turtles73 |
4 |
| deniselobo | 4 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Mrs.danish | 3 |
| Anardana | 3 |
| MrsOliveBird | 1 |
| MrsBroccoli | 1 |
| MabelleBliss | 1 |
| Bride7844 | 1 |
| GelaMac | 1 |
| BrittanyE |
1 |
