Post # 1
When I was sending out save the dates this week, I addressed one to a newly married couple (they married in August and had a low key/backyard reception, which FI and I attended). It then donned on me that I never sent a gift! I am usually in charge of the gifts for weddings b/c FI is po’ and bad about that stuff. The couple is the son/daughter in law of FI’s family’s friends. I guess assumed he had figured out the gifting situation and/or just forgot about it completely!
When I realized it, I felt so guilty and checked the most common gift registries (BBB, Macy’s C&B) to see if I could somehow send a gift. Nothing there! Now what to do? The couple lives across the country and I don’t have either of their emails (we probably see them once a year at family gatherings…and don’t have the relationship where I would email them or call them).
Help, I feel guilty and would like to send a gift! BUT I don’t want it to make it seem that I am gift fishing for our own wedding by sending them a gift at this late stage.
Any suggestions? Thanks!
PS I know the whole you have up to a year to send the gift rule…my concern is that since we JUST sent them a save the date it will be really obvious we forgot initially, etc.
Post # 3
I would send along a nice wedding card and with a giftcard inside for a store which they have in their area. This way you don’t have to worry about shipping costs or about picking out something that they need. I wouldn’t worry about it….. they say you have a year to send gifts, so late is always better than never!
Post # 4
I have the SAME PROBLEM (sudden realization of no gift) I feel terrible and really want to get my FI’s cousin a gift but we’re PAST the one year mark. And they’re coming all the way from California to the East Coast for our wedding. Maybe I’ll just send something small with a heartfelt apology?
Post # 5
I agree with MsB’s suggestion…go ahead and send a giftcard! Even though it might be obvious that you forgot, at least you remembered. It would be worse if you didn’t send anything at all.
Post # 6
I never got one of my really good friends a wedding gift-I was in a bad place personally and I only stayed for half of her wedding because I was such a wreck about something that was going on. I’ve apologized-it’s too late to send a gift it is past the one year mark s. she is in my wedding and i told her i would pay for her dress/alterations/ and all that she would have to py for my wedding. I don’t know if this makes up for not getting a gift but my offer was genuine and I feel guilty about it all the time.
Post # 7
I like the Gift Card idea. I’m not sure about how this would be taken but you could say you had "wedding brain" and it slipped your mind. I’m sure she’d understand and I doubt they’ll think it’s a gift grab! People honestly forget! No biggie!!! 🙂 **bonus points for you for remembering and realizing how it might appear!!
Post # 8
Thanks for all the feedback!
Soooo I talked to FML and after all my worrying she gave them a cash gift from "the family" including me and my FI. Phew!!
Flamingred – I missed a 1 year mark for one of my v.g. friends (I was in her wedding, she will be in mine). I was in a tough place financially and had spent nearly 2000 on flights and hotels for her wedding and bachelorette (and more on dress, hair makeup for wedding) and couldn’t afford anything more at the time. I sent her a gift when I could afford it. I know it was late in the game but I felt better about it afterwards. When she got the gift, she was like you did not need to send a gift – you already did so much! But, I know she appreciated the thought. I think your offer is a good one!
Post # 9
Most large banks have the Visa Gift cards. I would get them one of those, so they can use it where ever they want…Target, restaurant, etc. I bank at Wells Fargo and US Bank and I know you can get them there. I think it would be nice to get an unexpected wedding gift after the wedding!