Weddingbee boards

Hi gone2years!  I understand your confusion.  My MOH lives in DC while I'm in Boston.  In fact, all of my bridesmaids except one lives outside of Boston.  Thus, as a bride, I don't expect them to do as much necessarily as they would if they lived near me.  That being said, I do still want them, esp my MOH, to be involved with the process. 

As MOH, I think it's still your duty to organize the bachelorette party, and also at least one shower.  I know you said you probably couldn't afford to visit before the wedding, but since it's only 10 hours, could you drive up for a weekend perhaps?  While you obviously won't have as much to help out with in planning itself (unless she can give you something to do on your own), I think it's super important to be there for the shower, at least.  That being said, finances are what they are, and if you absolutely can't, then I'm sure she'd understand. 

My best friend and MOH lives across the country from me.  To be honest I didn't really expect anything from her because of the distance, but she offered to throw me a shower.  She told me a date for it, but nothing else, but then it turned out it was a surprise shower a couple weeks before I expected!  She coordinated with my FI and a lot of my local girlfriends for help, I think, but she arranged most of it from afar.  She was going to fly out for it, but ended up getting a last minute work assignment and couldn't make it.

I was so happy with the shower.  She did such an amazing job, she got little favors and organized my registry, she sent an evite out...she had it at a restaurant and ordered drinks and hors d'oeuvres for everyone, and then people paid for their own lunches afterwards.  I'm not sure what planning went into it, but it can be done long distance.  And if your best friend is like me, she will be incredibly touched by whatever you do, even if you can't be there. 

If your best friends other BMs are more local, maybe you can try to orchestrate everything from where you are and enlisting them for whatever local help you need.  Doing it at a restuarant I think would be really helpful, that way you don't have to put too much of a burden on anyone else.  

But seriously, after having my shower I felt so loved and grateful for my friends, but especially my best friend--she is amazing.  Whatever you're able to do from far away I'm sure your best friend will appreciate.