(Closed) OOT wedding – do I have to stay at the reception hotel?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3083 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think you have to stay there at all.

Post # 4
Member
45395 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is perfectly ok for you to choose a different hotel.

Feel comfortable in saying ” We have chosen a different hotel. The reception hotel is beyond our budget.”

 

Post # 5
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Totally OK to stay somewhere else!

Post # 6
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee

Not rude, especially because its out of your budget!  Personally, I’d definitely look for another hotel!

Post # 7
Member
9147 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Not a problem at all.  If she is a good bride/hostess she will think of this and provide an alternate block of rooms at another hotel for budget conscious guests/attendants or at the very least make the recommendation for other more budget friendly hotels nearby.

We are staying at a beach house but it will only sleep 12 of our guests so I took it upon myself to research hotels nearby.  I posted four of them on our wedding website with different rates and amenities (some are beachfront and expensive while others offer continental breakfast and a bargain rate.)  We are making the offer that the attendants can stay with us at the beach house if they want but if they choose to book a hotel room I completely understand.

Post # 8
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’re not required to stay there, but I would speak to the bride before making a booking elsewhere, just as a courtesy.  Some hotels require a contracted minimum on the block, and knowing you are not planning to stay in the hotel can help her make her own plans and arrangements with the hotel, so she doesn’t get caught short on any contract she might have signed; plus until you see the block price, you don’t know what the discount is.

You may want to consider staying only the wedding night there, and spending any other nights of your trip somewhere more affordable, simply because most folks end up back at the hotel bar/lounge after the reception, and it’s lovely to be able to pop upstairs and crash out after a long ceremony/reception/after-party day rather than having to drive back to a different hotel (especially if you’ve been drinking). To me, that’s worth the $200 I’d be saving on the room!

Post # 10
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Definitely okay to stay somewhere else. Flight + hotel + food while you’re traveling adds up really quickly.

I just attended a West Coast wedding this summer and while we chose to stay at the reception hotel, one of the groomsmen did not and it was totally fine. I actually wish we had looked into where he stayed, he was right across the street for way less each night! 

Post # 13
Member
9072 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yep…stay somewhere else!  She’ll be too busy with her wedding night anyway to care!

Post # 14
Hostess
13662 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I would absolutely stay somewhere else. And I don’t see why that should bother the bride!

Post # 15
Member
7879 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve heard stories of the bride getting a discount if enough guests book at her hotel. In other words they are using the guests to subsidise their wedding! So if you get pressured to stay at her hotel, that might be behind it.

Stay where you want. My brother married in a fancy hotel, and we just walked a couple of blocks to a cheaper hotel down the road after it was over, and there were no complaints. Granted you’re a bridesmaid, but the bride only needs the bridesmaids before and during the wedding, not after.

Post # 16
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Stay where you can afford, just so long as its distance doesn’t affect your ability to attend the wedding. 

The topic ‘OOT wedding – do I have to stay at the reception hotel?’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors