What would you guys prefer...an open bar during cocktail hour (to only last 1 hour) or an open bar (we'd choose to do a limit bar--guests to pay for their drinks once limit has been reached) during the reception?
I would do both, but not being rich has limitations...So pros and cons please? TIA!
While I fully appreciate budget constraints, I just don't think it's right to charge people to drink at your wedding. If you can't afford a full open bar all night, perhaps serve just beer and wine, or champagne punch - no need to supply enough vodka for the Russian Army, you know? I'm not rich - my entire wedding is coming in at just over $5000 - and doing an open beer and wine bar is still well within my budget. I have been to several large, beautiful weddings where this was done and heard not a single complaint that there was no Maker's Mark on the bar menu.
we're probably doing unlimited beer and wine, but if guests want to buy a cocktail, they're more than welcome to.
reesey- we're thinking about doing open bar everything during the cocktail hour and then limiting alcohol to beer/wine during the rest of the reception.
i recently attended a wedding where the open bar was open during cocktail hour but not the reception. During the reception they left bottles of wine and champagne at each table...I don't think anyone really missed the open bar =P.
i would say to go with one of the suggestions above (open beer/wine throughout either with a cocktail open bar or not, depending on finances). not sure what the norm is in your area or what your guests expect, but i wouldn't expect to bring cash for drinks to a wedding and it may be a bit awkward for your guest to had a complimentary cocktail during the cocktail hour, only to go back to the bar later on and be expected to pay.
you can do what i'm doing. i'm going to have open bar during cocktail hour, close it during dinner so that people can have dinner and poured wine service, and i'm going to open again after the festivites for the paaaaaaaarrrrtaaaaaaaay~
I agree with what most people have said. As a guest I would never expect to pay for drinks at a wedding. It's like being invited to a dinner party and having to pay for your drinks.
I was recently at a wedding that had an open bar for the cocktail hour and then guest had to pay after that. I've never been to a wedding like that before and clearly most people hadn't etheir because just from overhearing conversations, people were very unpleasantly surprised.
I think you have some different options. You can limit the bar to wine, beer and champagne. Everyone will be perfectly fine with this. Another option I've seen done with huge success is to have alcohol at each table, (I've seen bottles of hard alcohol like vodka along with wine). This will save you tons of money and it's convenient for the quests because they don't have to get up to get drinks. Or you can mix and match the options.
The worst option however is to have free alcohol and then "take it away".
The event coordinator at my reception venue actually advised against putting bottles of wine on the table, because she has seen so many go to waste that way. (And even if the table does drink all the wine placed there--maybe they would drink less if they had to go up to the bar and get it themselves!!) We're bringing in our own alcohol and using a discount liquor place--they'll take back the unopened bottles after the wedding and only charge for what we use. We're also sticking to beer, wine, and a signature drink for the cocktail hour. In our crowd at least, everyone will be perfectly happy with beer or wine with their dinner.
I admit that I don't like the idea of having people pay for drinks. I was at a wedding once where they had open bar for cocktail hour and cash bar after. Trouble was, the ceremony started very late, and once we finally made it to the reception venue, the bartenders had declared cocktail hour over! That couple was offering all kinds of alcohol along with beer and wine, and I really think they could have pulled off an open bar if they had nixed the liquor.
I fought this battle and lost with my parents, so we're having free beer and wine and then if people want a cocktail they can pay. Apparently it's the norm there (midwest). And since they're paying for it, I dropped it. Our venue coordinator said that a lot of the weddings are like that there.
if you want to provide alcohol for each table. pretty much anywhere you buy it, they will take back anything that is unopened....and if they don't, hey more for your bar at home :-)
As to Smithie's comment about guest maybe drinking more if they don't have to get up to get it --> I guess I come from a culture where we WANT our guest to drink a lot at wedding. hahaha
Sometimes, though, providing bottles of alcohol on the tables isn't allowed by the catering company (or could come with a hefty corkage fee).
I think that having a full open bar for cocktail hour followed by a wine/beer/champagne bar during the dinner would be a good choice. Or maybe just going with a consumption bar up to a certain dollar amount?
maybe beer and wine and a signature cocktail or spiked punch?
We're doing just beer and wine (got the wine during BevMo nickle sale!) and a champange punch.
Alot of people don't bring cash to weddings because they don't exactly expect to pay for anything. It would be a bummer to show up and not be able to get a drink.
I've been to event with just beer and wine, no one complains
We are doing one hour open bar during the cocktail hour. For dinner we have 26 bottles of wine that we have prepaid for (for 120 people) if people want to continue to drink. I don't like drunk people, so I figure that by only having an open bar for an hour, and then wine and champagne with dinner, it will keep most people sober. I've seen a few of my friends weddings almost ruined because of sloppy and loud drunk guests. I like the cocktail hour idea and wine with dinner.
Calio~ If you only have 26 bottles of wine for 120 people and you have "normal" size wine glasses, which are usually between 6-8 oz. at the smallest, you don't have enough wine for everybody to have one class. You get about 5-5oz. servings in a bottle of wine and that's with a bartender pouring. When you let people pour their own wine, you get a lot less. You might want to order a couple of more bottles. I usually calculate getting between 4(my friends)-5(parties) glasses per bottle at the most if people are self-pouring. Just thought I'd share.
Everyone is going to have different preferences regarding whether to have a cash bar or not, so I guess for me I would not appreciate going to a wedding and paying for my drinks. I agree with previous posts that doing a wine/beer bar would be better than cash bar or offering the signature drink in addition if you wanted to incorporate a hard alcohol drink. If you do decide to have a cash bar, I've heard some etiquette rules say you should at least let guests know ahead of time. Also, if people really want to drink they can always do that with an after party. HTH!
I noticed above a poster was talking about how many glasses you get per bottle of wine... You get 5 glasses out of a bottle of wine and a standard poor is about 1/2 the glass. If your guests are pooring themselves they usually poor 3/4 of a glasss- that's why you see couples putting atleast 2 bottles of wine on the table, and having some in reserve. You don't want to run out. (I'm a wine server on the weekends)
I have to agree with almost everyone else here... you need some sort of free alcohol all night or you should limit your guest number/cut corners else where. I appreciate tight budgets, but your guests are giving up their time to support you and shower you with gifts, while it's probably their pleasure- everyone expects to have a good time. I would definitley do beer and wine- and if guests want to pay for regular alcohol, let them.
I've been to one wedding where we had to pay for our own drinks, and I like many others here, heard terrible comments from the guests. I realize this couple had a tight budget- but there were obvious places the couple could have cut some corners (ie. honey moon, floral arrangments, favors, etc...) People expect to drink at a wedding- and would much rather be provided for in that way then a favor (at this particular wedding it was a silver picture frame with the bride and grooms name).
You have to do what you can do, but I would take the recommendations of other brides and provide something to drink all night and do without something else.
What would you guys prefer...an open bar during cocktail hour (to only last 1 hour) or an open bar (we'd choose to do a limit bar--guests to pay for their drinks once limit has been reached) during the reception?
I would do both, but not being rich has limitations...So pros and cons please? TIA!
posted by reesey 68 posts 4 months agoWhile I fully appreciate budget constraints, I just don't think it's right to charge people to drink at your wedding. If you can't afford a full open bar all night, perhaps serve just beer and wine, or champagne punch - no need to supply enough vodka for the Russian Army, you know? I'm not rich - my entire wedding is coming in at just over $5000 - and doing an open beer and wine bar is still well within my budget. I have been to several large, beautiful weddings where this was done and heard not a single complaint that there was no Maker's Mark on the bar menu.
posted by CarolineG 284 posts 4 months agoGreat post, Caroline! Totally agree.
posted by maryalison 105 posts 4 months agoI agree with Caroline. You should never make people pay to drink at your wedding. No matter what, IMO.
posted by KateMW 483 posts 4 months agoi disagree.
we're probably doing unlimited beer and wine, but if guests want to buy a cocktail, they're more than welcome to.
reesey- we're thinking about doing open bar everything during the cocktail hour and then limiting alcohol to beer/wine during the rest of the reception.
posted by vee 172 posts 4 months agoi recently attended a wedding where the open bar was open during cocktail hour but not the reception. During the reception they left bottles of wine and champagne at each table...I don't think anyone really missed the open bar =P.
posted by charmedbride 46 posts 4 months agoi would say to go with one of the suggestions above (open beer/wine throughout either with a cocktail open bar or not, depending on finances). not sure what the norm is in your area or what your guests expect, but i wouldn't expect to bring cash for drinks to a wedding and it may be a bit awkward for your guest to had a complimentary cocktail during the cocktail hour, only to go back to the bar later on and be expected to pay.
posted by missm 485 posts 4 months agoyou can do what i'm doing. i'm going to have open bar during cocktail hour, close it during dinner so that people can have dinner and poured wine service, and i'm going to open again after the festivites for the paaaaaaaarrrrtaaaaaaaay~
posted by callalillies 68 posts 4 months agoI agree with what most people have said. As a guest I would never expect to pay for drinks at a wedding. It's like being invited to a dinner party and having to pay for your drinks.
I was recently at a wedding that had an open bar for the cocktail hour and then guest had to pay after that. I've never been to a wedding like that before and clearly most people hadn't etheir because just from overhearing conversations, people were very unpleasantly surprised.
I think you have some different options. You can limit the bar to wine, beer and champagne. Everyone will be perfectly fine with this. Another option I've seen done with huge success is to have alcohol at each table, (I've seen bottles of hard alcohol like vodka along with wine). This will save you tons of money and it's convenient for the quests because they don't have to get up to get drinks. Or you can mix and match the options.
The worst option however is to have free alcohol and then "take it away".
posted by MissEsq 41 posts 4 months agoThe event coordinator at my reception venue actually advised against putting bottles of wine on the table, because she has seen so many go to waste that way. (And even if the table does drink all the wine placed there--maybe they would drink less if they had to go up to the bar and get it themselves!!) We're bringing in our own alcohol and using a discount liquor place--they'll take back the unopened bottles after the wedding and only charge for what we use. We're also sticking to beer, wine, and a signature drink for the cocktail hour. In our crowd at least, everyone will be perfectly happy with beer or wine with their dinner.
I admit that I don't like the idea of having people pay for drinks. I was at a wedding once where they had open bar for cocktail hour and cash bar after. Trouble was, the ceremony started very late, and once we finally made it to the reception venue, the bartenders had declared cocktail hour over! That couple was offering all kinds of alcohol along with beer and wine, and I really think they could have pulled off an open bar if they had nixed the liquor.
posted by Smithie71 31 posts 4 months agoI fought this battle and lost with my parents, so we're having free beer and wine and then if people want a cocktail they can pay. Apparently it's the norm there (midwest). And since they're paying for it, I dropped it. Our venue coordinator said that a lot of the weddings are like that there.
posted by jma19 364 posts 4 months agoif you want to provide alcohol for each table. pretty much anywhere you buy it, they will take back anything that is unopened....and if they don't, hey more for your bar at home :-)
As to Smithie's comment about guest maybe drinking more if they don't have to get up to get it --> I guess I come from a culture where we WANT our guest to drink a lot at wedding. hahaha
posted by MissEsq 41 posts 4 months agoSometimes, though, providing bottles of alcohol on the tables isn't allowed by the catering company (or could come with a hefty corkage fee).
I think that having a full open bar for cocktail hour followed by a wine/beer/champagne bar during the dinner would be a good choice. Or maybe just going with a consumption bar up to a certain dollar amount?
posted by briannie 183 posts 4 months agomaybe beer and wine and a signature cocktail or spiked punch?
We're doing just beer and wine (got the wine during BevMo nickle sale!) and a champange punch.
Alot of people don't bring cash to weddings because they don't exactly expect to pay for anything. It would be a bummer to show up and not be able to get a drink.
I've been to event with just beer and wine, no one complains
posted by TallBride 582 posts 4 months agoWe are doing one hour open bar during the cocktail hour. For dinner we have 26 bottles of wine that we have prepaid for (for 120 people) if people want to continue to drink. I don't like drunk people, so I figure that by only having an open bar for an hour, and then wine and champagne with dinner, it will keep most people sober. I've seen a few of my friends weddings almost ruined because of sloppy and loud drunk guests. I like the cocktail hour idea and wine with dinner.
posted by caliocteach 720 posts 4 months agoCalio~ If you only have 26 bottles of wine for 120 people and you have "normal" size wine glasses, which are usually between 6-8 oz. at the smallest, you don't have enough wine for everybody to have one class. You get about 5-5oz. servings in a bottle of wine and that's with a bartender pouring. When you let people pour their own wine, you get a lot less. You might want to order a couple of more bottles. I usually calculate getting between 4(my friends)-5(parties) glasses per bottle at the most if people are self-pouring. Just thought I'd share.
posted by KateMW 483 posts 4 months agoclass=glass. Sorry.
posted by KateMW 483 posts 4 months agoIf you're going the BYOB route, check out Evite's drink calculator: http://www.evite.com/pages/party/drink-calculator.jsp
posted by briannie 183 posts 4 months agoEveryone is going to have different preferences regarding whether to have a cash bar or not, so I guess for me I would not appreciate going to a wedding and paying for my drinks. I agree with previous posts that doing a wine/beer bar would be better than cash bar or offering the signature drink in addition if you wanted to incorporate a hard alcohol drink. If you do decide to have a cash bar, I've heard some etiquette rules say you should at least let guests know ahead of time. Also, if people really want to drink they can always do that with an after party. HTH!
posted by Jen4637 117 posts 4 months agoI noticed above a poster was talking about how many glasses you get per bottle of wine... You get 5 glasses out of a bottle of wine and a standard poor is about 1/2 the glass. If your guests are pooring themselves they usually poor 3/4 of a glasss- that's why you see couples putting atleast 2 bottles of wine on the table, and having some in reserve. You don't want to run out. (I'm a wine server on the weekends)
I have to agree with almost everyone else here... you need some sort of free alcohol all night or you should limit your guest number/cut corners else where. I appreciate tight budgets, but your guests are giving up their time to support you and shower you with gifts, while it's probably their pleasure- everyone expects to have a good time. I would definitley do beer and wine- and if guests want to pay for regular alcohol, let them.
I've been to one wedding where we had to pay for our own drinks, and I like many others here, heard terrible comments from the guests. I realize this couple had a tight budget- but there were obvious places the couple could have cut some corners (ie. honey moon, floral arrangments, favors, etc...) People expect to drink at a wedding- and would much rather be provided for in that way then a favor (at this particular wedding it was a silver picture frame with the bride and grooms name).
You have to do what you can do, but I would take the recommendations of other brides and provide something to drink all night and do without something else.
posted by maureen9004 261 posts 4 months ago